Do you agree with what the book "He's just not that into you" said?

[edpjrr]

Some people say "a women should not be the first one telling a guy that she likes him because this is the guy's job. If the guy wants you - he will find the ways to show it. If not....well....you are not his cup of tea". The author of a very famous book "He's Just Not That Into You",Greg Behrendt, also holds the same view. Some of his quotes are:

"He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a **** buddy situation or a meaningful romance. If a guy is really excited about someone, he can't stop himself - he wants more. If he's friends with someone and attracted to them, he's going to want to take it further. And please don't tell me he's just SCARED or SHY! The only thing he's scared of-is how not attracted to you he is"

"Men, just like women, want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship starts to become serious. One way they do that is by laying claim to it. They actually want to say 'I'm your boyfriend' or 'I'd like to be your boyfriend' or 'If you ever break up with that other guy who's not your boyfriend, I'd like to be your boyfriend'. A man who's really into you is going to want you all to himself."

“Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything
related to his feelings for you”

A male friend of mine told me, "Most relationships don't end up well if the girl asks the guy out"

So do you agree with what Greg Behrendt said? Do you think women should wait for men to ask them out? Or do you think women can take the initiative and ask men out?

Thank you!

[michelle23]

I doubt its that black and white but i dont make the first move-ever

[anonymous_a]

Michelle is right, there are exceptions to the rules, and nothing is black and white, but I agree for the most part. One thing I don't agree with is waiting until he makes the first move. I've made the first move in situations and it's usually worked out pretty well for me. Everything else is pretty spot on. If he likes you, he will make it apparent. If he wants to see you, he will make time. If he wants to call you, he will call you.

[lalalita]

If it's pretty clear and apparent that a man is interested in me, I don't have a problem making the first move. BUT, when it comes down to it, I'm pretty old school and much prefer if the man is the one doing the footwork.

[pcmaster]

Well I think the old school where man asks women first is good. At least for me it works better cause I think man should take action and when I do I feel like a real man. I dont wana girl who will do everything for me like ask on a date, kiss and offer to fck. Dont wana feel like a woman or a prey. Its much easier when you have control over the things and you dont get stalked by some over outgoing girl with discusting loud voice and shameless touch.

[Wakeup]

.. lolzz ..

There is a huge difference between "pursuing" and "initiating."

I think generally, things turn out better for the gal if she lets the man pursue. Nothing wrong with her initiating of course, but once she's done that, let him do the pursuing. When it's determined that "He's just not that into you" is when the chickette is doing all the intitiating and all of the pursuing while he does nothing but let her.

[edpjrr]

Well I think the old school where man asks women first is good. At least for me it works better cause I think man should take action and when I do I feel like a real man. I dont wana girl who will do everything for me like ask on a date, kiss and offer to fck. Dont wana feel like a woman or a prey. Its much easier when you have control over the things and you dont get stalked by some over outgoing girl with discusting loud voice and shameless touch.

haha,you're pretty old school
but do you find it weird if a girl asks a guy out?

[edpjrr]

initiating = tell the guy "I like you" and ask him out
pursuing = sending flowers,sweet talk,hanging out,impressing her/him....etc...

Is this what you mean?

[Starnique]

I will speak first in a way to let them know that I know their interested in me and I'm open to it. However, I won't initiate going out or pursue them. After I speak he has to do everything else.

[pcmaster]

haha,you're pretty old school
but do you find it weird if a girl asks a guy out?

In my eyes it cheapens girl. Especially if she's not confident while doing it. Gives me ego boost, kills mystery and its very easy to say no. Good girls don't offer themself(they don't have to). Never in my life I took a girl who been on a plate. It's as exciting as chasing dead bunny. I don't like to know that I can do everything with this girl, its more interesting to think:" Can I do this?" Its more adventurous to receive random unexpected emotions and not passive allowance. Its better to surprise the girl rather than interact with girl who is ready and expecting something because she initiated it.

But I think girl definitely should ask a guy out if she wants to. It's not the best scenario but better than nothing. Because some guys are like pussies and some girls are outgoing like dick. Opposites attracts.

[Starnique]

PC, I think a lot of guys think like that. They like the chase and it's probably boring to them afterwhile if everything is just handed to them. I like a guy to pursue me, wine and dine me and all that good shit.

[actualgoodguy]

I have never gotten the whole chase thing. I won't pursue a girl, the first time she shows no interest, I'm outta there.

I will never ever initiate in the real world either because you don't know if they're already taken. I prefer online dating because you know they're single.

[Wakeup]

the first time she shows no interest, I'm outta there.

No one should continue on in something that is one sided, that's just common sense.

I will never ever initiate in the real world either because you don't know if they're already taken. I prefer online dating because you know they're single.

0.o *snickers* Good thing you know everything.

[actualgoodguy]

No one should continue on in something that is one sided, that's just common sense.

0.o *snickers* Good thing you know everything.

Lol, yeah guess what i am saying is that I'm not going to try to win her over and chase her aka playing hard to get. It should be 50/50. If she's not gonna put any effort into it, then why should I?

Correction 90-95% of the people on dating sites are single, ekhmm cheaters lol

[edpjrr]

PC, I think a lot of guys think like that. They like the chase and it's probably boring to them afterwhile if everything is just handed to them. I like a guy to pursue me, wine and dine me and all that good shit.

but not a lot of guys think it cheapens girls when girls ask guys out.