Do you agree with what the book "He's just not that into you" said?

[pacachomp]

A lot of what Behrendt said is utter bs. There are plenty of reasons why guys don't ask a girl out even when they're extremely attracted to them; for this guy to just dismiss them, and characterize all males as 100% sex-driven machines, is pretty disgusting.

As for whether guys have to initiate in relationships...obviously there's the social expectation that they will, and in the majority of cases they do, but if you're a woman, please don't believe this to be an absolute rule. If you want a relationship with a guy, or you want to move an existing relationship forward, just go ahead and ask, the majority of guys will appreciate it. I would agree though that this shouldn't be done more than occasionally; not only do most guys like the thrill of the chase, they also tend to value the women they have put a lot of time and effort into more.

[michelle23]

but not a lot of guys think it cheapens girls when girls ask guys out.

lol maybe 17 year old boys. I think in adulthood nobody really gives a shite. You like each other, you like each other-who cares who makes the first move. Im old fashioned though so I dont make the first move

[edpjrr]

In my eyes it cheapens girl. Especially if she's not confident while doing it. Gives me ego boost, kills mystery and its very easy to say no. Good girls don't offer themself(they don't have to). Never in my life I took a girl who been on a plate. It's as exciting as chasing dead bunny. I don't like to know that I can do everything with this girl, its more interesting to think:" Can I do this?" Its more adventurous to receive random unexpected emotions and not passive allowance. Its better to surprise the girl rather than interact with girl who is ready and expecting something because she initiated it.

But I think girl definitely should ask a guy out if she wants to. It's not the best scenario but better than nothing. Because some guys are like pussies and some girls are outgoing like dick. Opposites attracts.

What?You don't like ego boost??? hmm......

To be honest,I'm a bit confused after reading your post cos in the first paragraph,you seem to be so against the idea of women asking guys out,but then you said girls should definitely ask guys out in your second paragraph.....????

"In my eyes it cheapens girl.Good girls don't offer themself"<-- wow!I'm sure feminists will definitely call you "sexist" or "disrespectful" if they see this! Anyway,I know different guys have different opinions.Some people think it's perfectly fine that girls ask guys out but some don't. As michelle 23 and anonymous_a said,"nothing is black and white". But I don't agree that it "cheapens" the girl when she asks a guy out.She's interested so she asks.A grown woman should be able to express herself .If he's really the type of man who she wants,she can give it a go and ask him out.There's nothing to lose even if he rejects her. If a woman isn’t satisfied with the quality of men that approach her, she might want to consider making the first move.It doesn't necessarily mean she's NOT a good girl or anything.It's just a natural progression of women being equals.

[edpjrr]

Lol, yeah guess what i am saying is that I'm not going to try to win her over and chase her aka playing hard to get. It should be 50/50. If she's not gonna put any effort into it, then why should I?

Correction 90-95% of the people on dating sites are single, ekhmm cheaters lol

I'm sure you're an open-minded person who doesn't mind if a girl asks a guy out
Yes,you're right.It should be 50/50 Both parties should put effort into it.

[edpjrr]

I will speak first in a way to let them know that I know their interested in me and I'm open to it. However, I won't initiate going out or pursue them. After I speak he has to do everything else.

LOOOL
Do you really say to them,"hey good-looking,I know you're interested in me and I'm open to it"?? LOOOL
What would you do if they told you,"no,I'm not interested in you.You've just read into it too much"?
LOL

[edpjrr]

A lot of what Behrendt said is utter bs. There are plenty of reasons why guys don't ask a girl out even when they're extremely attracted to them; for this guy to just dismiss them, and characterize all males as 100% sex-driven machines, is pretty disgusting.

As for whether guys have to initiate in relationships...obviously there's the social expectation that they will, and in the majority of cases they do, but if you're a woman, please don't believe this to be an absolute rule. If you want a relationship with a guy, or you want to move an existing relationship forward, just go ahead and ask, the majority of guys will appreciate it. I would agree though that this shouldn't be done more than occasionally; not only do most guys like the thrill of the chase, they also tend to value the women they have put a lot of time and effort into more.

Well-said! I agree with what you say here
One more question,"the majority of guys will appreciate it" <----Do you think this majority of guys is 17 year old boys (as michelle23 said)? LOL

[edpjrr]

lol maybe 17 year old boys. I think in adulthood nobody really gives a shite. You like each other, you like each other-who cares who makes the first move. Im old fashioned though so I dont make the first move

LOL Any statistical evidence?