attracted to an unattainable friend with a girlfriend, worried about his perception

[feversome]

i'm attracted to a friend who has a girlfriend and i'm worried about their (especially his) perceptions of me. i play in a band with both of them and in january when i was going through a psychotic episode i was making it clear and obvious i was attracted to him, he was nice because he knew i was unwell but now that i'm back on medication i'm worried about my lasting effect on his perception of me. he is never going to be interested and i'm totally ok with that, i'm just really worried about what he thinks of me and whether he looks down on me for being inappropriately attracted to him. do guys find it annoying if their female friends are interested in them if they're not interested? there was awhile where i was being too emotionally demanding because i wanted him to care about me and i think it was starting to annoy him because you shouldn't expect friends to care about you that much. i'm always overly conscious of my behaviour around him now, down to little things like eye contact and the way i phrase things. i don't have a good sense of how i come across and i keep worrying about it. i don't want to have a negative impact on our friendship or our band.

[4 ratties]

It doesn't sound like he is bothered.. I'm sure he's moved on from it.. I wouldn't let it bother you most guys are bigger attention whores then girls and love when their ego is stroked or some girl finds them hot. Id try to forget about the whole thing and just continue to be respectful to him

[Ann S]

Do you have any good female pals in your band? I'd ask them how you come across. You'll get an honest answer. You may not like the answer but with the information given to you, you get to make some changes if you want to. Good luck. Ann