very broken hearted and upset from this bad breakup.

[Diamondsnpearls]

Me and my ex were together for almost 9 months, we were very happy. never really had a serious argument and got on really well.. not once did we ever even speak about breaking up even if once in a blue moon we had a serious argument. the last couple months of the relationship i started to spend ALOT of time there with him, and i don't think it was good for either of us, he stopped seeing his friends as much and i think he kind of blamed me for that.. we had a couple big arguments and he said he wasn't sure he wanted this relationship anymore, at one point he said it would be a good idea if we had some time apart and if i left for a bit. i left for about two weeks, during these two weeks he said to me its not a good idea if i come back and that we're clinging onto something that wont work.. a few days after he said to me that was totally untrue, he is 100% sure about what he wants and that he will prove it to me when i went to see him, so after a few more days i went to see him, he treated me with respect, took me out for dinner treated me so nicely just like he used to. i stayed there for two weeks. the first week he was so good to me and we were so happy to be in eachothers company again and missed each other so much. a few days before i left we started to argue a little again. and the day i was leaving, he said to me it's not fair if he leads me along and that this is it now. but he also said to me "just give it a month and see how we get on" i said to him i don't think it's right to breakup and that we have a good future to come. he then said to me that he agrees but now just isn't the time. when i left he gave me a quick kiss and told me he loves me. he looked so upset like he was about to cry and said he will miss me. (by the way tuesday night was when i left) i always knew he loves me that was never ever questinable. he thought the world of me and i'm pretty sure he still does. he also said he doesn't want to talk to me that night i left as he would end up changing his mind again. so we didn't talk for very long and he just said "goodnight for now" since tuesday night he hasn't text me or called me not even once. and i havn't either because i know i will feel worse if i do that as i want him to talk to me. i feel so hurt and upset, i'm crying every 5 minutes. we both still love eachother so much it's like he's done all of this just to get more time with his mates almost. and saying hes not ready to 'settle down' but we're not settling down. we're not getting married or anything like that we were just having a happy relationship. and in the past couple months he just changed his mind alot. he says this is it now then he also said lets give it a month and see how we get on, so what am i supposed to do? i wish he could just know what he wants 100% then i'd feel better. i don't know why he hasn't spoken to me since either.. maybe he's realised how much better of he is without me. he wouldn't text me to say "im enjoying my time on my own we wont see eachother again" as he already said this is it.. i really am heartbroken and people are saying go out with friends blah blah blah, i done that but it was still on my mind 24/7 and i just had that sick feeling every second. i feel almost let down, and ignored even though i haven't texted him so he has nothing to reply to..i'm a mess i just don't know what to do. he was the first person i ever felt this strongly about. i wish we could go back to being happy and put all this crap behind us. but with him not knowing what he wants it's impossible.

[Beligerent]

I am in the same position as you with my GF. She manipulated me into moving to NH under the illusion that she would be right behind me. As soon as I moved she "had doubts" Now Im in NH 150 miles from her with nothing. No job and crashing on my friends couch. I am so heartbroken. I thinkof her constantly. I wonder if theres someone else. there probably is andits killing me inside.

[Valixy]

Reading your previous post too, it seems that things started to change when the relationship went from a long distance one and you were seeing each other every other weekend to spending every day together at his place. Maybe he simply needs some of his space and time back and the same dynamics you used to have in the first months. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, it simply means that he is less attached to the relationship and he needs some independence and variety in order to function properly, at least at this time in his life.

You should try to accept this, if this is the case, it's probably the only way to save the relationship. Try to detach emotionally and mentally of him a little bit, it's going to be hard work at the beginning, but it will get easier in time. Spend time at your place, concentrate on your daily life, make it a happy one and start seeing him again on weekends when it's suitable for both of you. Being fine on your own without needing to spend every day with him in order to feel happy, will only make you look more attractive in his eyes and get his attention.

So, wipe those tears and start training yourself to become a happy stable emotional girl that is enjoying her life and independence and is learning little by little to alternate it with well dosed passionate and romantic times with her boyfriend. Use this month to rediscover yourself and rebuild your own identity and joy. If you two should get back together, this will help you reconquer him, if not, you will at least feel better and this is something you owe to yourself before anything else.

[Faith223]

I agree it seems that he does need his space. Trust me honey I know that it will be hard for you but it if the best route to go. Use this time to reinvent yourself and spend time working on YOU. Try not to contact him all the time and show him that you life does not revolve around him. If something is meant to be no amount of time or space will EVER keep you away from them. Keep your head held up high girl.

[Diamondsnpearls]

I completely agree with this post, I'd be very happy to only see him now and then to give eachother space but he hasn't spoke to me since tuesday night. He said earlier before tuesday "this is it now" then he also said "just give it a month and see how we get on" but he hasn't spoken to me since tuesday night? i'd love to change things about it. but in my eyes he has already completely ended it all and not even thought of anything that could make it better for us. and i haven't spoken to him as i think if he wants to talk to me then he will.

[Valixy]

It would be wrong to pursue him in any way. You need to play it all on one card this time, I think. He got a bit tired of the relationship due to too much time spent together probably, so he needs to balance his life a little bit and most importantly to have a chance to think of you, miss you and want you in his life again, so, do not contact him first. Just don't. He needs to feel that he might lose you for good and what this could mean to him. I know you love him but if you want to win this man back, you have to be strong now, concentrate on yourself and try to make yourself happy, start new projects, invest in yourself, other things that you are passionate about and you could enjoy. Hopefully he will miss you and contact you and when that happens you'll be in a happy confident mood and able to start things lightly again. You'll have to keep in mind though that he doesn't want so much an every day relationship but some time apart too. If he doesn't want to continue, you'll just have to show that you respect yourself. You cannot beg for love, it's always counterproductive. You can try to make things work if he's also willing to, if not, well, you'll have to learn to be happy on your own again, and being happy with yourself is actually so much more important than even achieving your happiness by loving a man in the right way.

[Diamondsnpearls]

before i saw this message i actually sent him a long email basically saying i realise now it is 100% over and i can't make him want to be with me, i also said that i have been very upset and still love him and that if he was willing to try then so would i but i can't try anymore if he's not in it 100% like i am, now in a way i kind of wish i didn't message him. have i completely ruined everything? what do i do now? i told him if things were to change right now for the best i'd be the happiest girl alive but it has to take two. have i just ruined it all?

[Diamondsnpearls]

I feel like i almost want to log onto his facebook acount (i have his password, not that i used to snoop on there) and delete the message i just sent him!

[Valixy]

No, you shouldn't log onto his account, that would complicate things for sure... Let us think...

[Diamondsnpearls]

haha once again before i saw this message i went onto his facebook and deleted the message!! as seeing your message about not messaging him first i really think you were right.

[Diamondsnpearls]

too late.. he saw the message and sent this
I just need a little space right now... I really miss you too and I always did love you. But I don't think me and you can go on and it pains me to say that. Ill speak to you soon though I can't right now as its all that's been on my mind too... It's hard .. X

[Valixy]

Well, what's done it's done...Is his facebbok account connected to his phone? Could he have read it already?

[Valixy]

Well, I think you should try to not to be the first one to contact him from now on...Give him his time...Detach, make yourself happy and start lightly when he comes back to you...Try to make him feel that he's free again in this relationship, no expectations, just the joy of sharing some beautiful time together and let things build up from there little by little...

[michelle23]

You did the right thing. You would have been stuck in limbo otherwise. Be proud you took control, your strong

[Diamondsnpearls]

I basically said to him what you said, he said he's so upset about it all so doesn't want to talk about it for a while, but I told him what you said and to just relax and let whatever should happen, happen naturally. And he said he thinks that's a good idea and he will talk to me soon. I just really hope this turns out ok I'm not going to get my hopes up for anything because that's how I will get let down. Now I'm kind of wondering when he will talk and what will happen and what he will say...