Getting It Together

[JKNG08]

Hello. I started my freshman year in college, which was last year, with high hopes, and motivation. I was really standing out. I was the leader type. I was known for taking my studies seriously. I was even the VP, then President for our class. During the midst of 2nd semester, I got sidetracked. I was derailed. My mind and my heart still have desire, but my body failed me. I started to skip classes. I was heartbroken, because I found out that a guy was only playing with me. This took a toll on me, as I failed two subjects for the semester. I was able to recover during the summer vacation. I said I was going to do better again for my sophomore year.

I lost it again. I'm an irregular student because I was not able to save myself slots for some subjects, so I'm classmates with students with different majors, and different years. Suddenly, I started to feel like an outcast from my original blockmates, which was strange for me, because they used to always want to be with me. This made me feel lonely and detached. I lost the will to go to school. And now (2 or 3 weeks later), seemingly, we're getting along just fine. I feel really dumb for letting it get into me this much, to begin with. They're noticing my absence, and I think they're getting worried since this is unlikely of me. I can't explain how my mind really really wants to do good, I keep telling myself that it's time I pick myself up. I know that if I don't turn things around, it will take a toll on me again, and I don't want that. I hate myself right now, because I know that this isn't me. My friends have started to joke about me not attending classes, and I hate that. I don't want to be a subject of such joke. My guilt is also killing me. Telling my folks that I'm going to my classes, but I'm not. They don't deserve it. I love them, they're great. I don't want to lie to them and let them down.


I want to redeem myself, my image. This is most of all, for my own good. My heart is in the right place. It's just that I let my unfortunate circumstances get in the way, and now I'm struggling to surface from all this.

I made a promise to myself, that this coming week, I will start to attend ALL my classes regularly. I'm gonna get my head back in the game.

Any advice or reaction would be appreciated.
Thank you.

[michelle23]

It sounds like you were/are depressed. Why dont you book an appointment with your schools counselor. She/he will help you get back on track. Forgive yourself and stop feeling like a failure. It happens to everyone at some point. Just pick yourself up now and be the best you can be.

Good luck