Have you ever fantasized about someone else

**Jffs24** · 24-08-13, 10:52 PM

LMAO, Thanks, Wakeup.
A hard lesson learned by me in the past.
I have my smart and dumb as rocks moments. You caught me on a smart Yoda one.

**searock** · 24-08-13, 11:21 PM

Originally Posted by Jffs24

I'd say sometimes a white lie is harmless and saves a relationship if you are in a relationship with someone so sensitive that they always compare their worth to others.

Isn't it better to not be in a relationship with someone like that?

Isn't a lie to hurt another, but spare them, imho and sparing yourself the nagging grief that is attached to being honest, lmao.

Meh, to me there are no "good" lies. I prefer to be told the truth, even if it may hurt me. I don't ask questions when I know that one of the answers would upset me too much.

If you have to lie to your partner to not be nagged by them, wow, your relationship is sad.

**Exeter19** · 25-08-13, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by searock

Or you could have told her you only thought about her once and that most times you only thought about her (your gf).

Does it bother you that your girlfriend fantasizes about other guys while you two have sex? Would it bother you if she did?

she wouldn't ever believe it was only once even if it was true, it wouldn't be that easy to deal with. never is. no i don't care who a girlfriend fantasizes about as long as she doesn't yell out their name instead of mine during it. i would think women do it as much as men do, think or fantasize on others. no, i wouldn't get upset on it or bring it up again unless we watched a movie with that celebrity or whoever in it as a laugh.

**searock** · 26-08-13, 12:09 AM

Fair enough then.

I also think it has nothing to do with gender.

**smackie9** · 26-08-13, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by searock

So you mean questions that will upset the person who asked them if the answer is not what they hope it will be... too bad for that person says I. *quoting michelle's signature* don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer. It's no excuse to lie though.

Damn rights it is.

**searock** · 26-08-13, 04:56 AM

Agree to disagree :-).

**smackie9** · 26-08-13, 05:52 AM

Nothing wrong with avoiding hurting someone's feelings by not telling them the truth, especially if it's something personal, and there is nothing to be gained by it.

**searock** · 26-08-13, 05:59 AM

What's right and wrong is very subjective. To me it would be wrong to lie, even if it would be so as not to hurt a partner's feelings. I would be much more upset at the thought of my bf not being honest with me so as not to hurt my feelings, than I would be if he were honest with me and did hurt my feelings. That's why I avoid asking questions which I know might hurt me (silly questions such as "do you think she's prettier than me?" that are really useless and stem from insecurities).

**smackie9** · 26-08-13, 06:20 AM

Me I would never ask such a question because I already know what the answer is....because it will be the same with any guy and quite honestly I could care less if he does, because it's just part of who we are as human beings. That's why it's pretty redundant to even ask.

**smackie9** · 26-08-13, 06:28 AM

Remember we are talking about fantasizing about others....not like if they had lunch with their ex wife and said "no" they didn't. That is different. That is something that happened irl not someones imagination. I would never answer honestly because it isn't anyones business to know what goes on in my mind IMO.

**searock** · 26-08-13, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

Me I would never ask such a question because I already know what the answer is....because it will be the same with any guy and quite honestly I could care less if he does, because it's just part of who we are as human beings. That's why it's pretty redundant to even ask.

Yep, it would be pointless to ask such questions.

If asked though, the guy (or girl) should answer honestly - even at the risk of hurting their partner's feelings. It's just how I see it.

**smackie9** · 27-08-13, 02:34 AM

IMO if you care enough about that person you won't hurt them with something like that. It's a cue that there is something going on with them that needs to be addressed instead.

If I was asked I would tell them that I refused to answer such a question.....is that lying?

**searock** · 27-08-13, 02:37 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

If I was asked I would tell them that I refused to answer such a question.....is that lying?

No, that's not lying, that's actually a good answer.

**smackie9** · 27-08-13, 02:48 AM

I have never been asked that question before.....it would most certainly piss me off tho.

**Wakeup** · 27-08-13, 02:50 AM

Yea, and I can hear it now:

Her: Do I look fat in these genes? (genes spelled that way on purpose lol)
Him: I refuse to answer such a question!
Her: You asshole, you're telling me my ass is fat!

*hears sound of cast iron skillet hitting think skull*

lol.

Women (or men) IMO who ask questions like that are very insecure and unless you actually lie to them and say "no your ass is lovely to my eyes" you are not going to win.

Insecure people are not capable of hearing the truth. It's that simple. (IMO of course)

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