Confused about why he left without a word (long-distance relationship)

[venus1173]

Long story short we met 3 years ago we dated he got deployed fast forward 3 years he found me dated again the agreed to be in an exclusive relationship but this time it was long distance relationship.

About a month a ago he came and visited for 2 days. We spoke that day and the next 2 days and now I havent heard from him in a month.

Ive been trying to wrap my head around it ever since. I just dont understand, he gave no inkling something was wrong or that he wanted to break-up?It just seems like im in denial or dont want to believe its over or there's something missing because I asked at the beginning of our relationship if he met someone he wanted to date would he tell me, he said yes he wouls be honest with, if that ever happened, I guess im holding on to that.

Why even spend the $400+ to come anyways? ?

[michelle23]

People make a lot of empty promises hun when their in a relationship. The reality is he prob did meet someone else. You cant trust anyone your in a ldr with. Thet just dont work. The distance is too much. Your lacking the emotional connection, physical intimacy and closeness that all people crave and its too easy to fall out of love when your apart a lot.

Sorry your hurting but you need to accept its over. Even if he does come crawling back-tell him to get lost. Its cruuel of him to just walk without even telling you its over and you deserve better

[VerticalMoon]

It's over. This happens to a lot of long-distance relationships. He spent a couple of fairly enjoyable days with you. Then he realized things weren't spectacular enough to make the effort of a long distance relationship. He decided to be single until he found somebody local and bailed. He spent the money because he didn't know he'd feel that way until he'd seen you. Sorry. At least you found out now before you spent any more time on him.

[smackie9]

Long story short we met 3 years ago we dated he got deployed fast forward 3 years he found me dated again the agreed to be in an exclusive relationship but this time it was long distance relationship.

About a month a ago he came and visited for 2 days. We spoke that day and the next 2 days and now I havent heard from him in a month.

Ive been trying to wrap my head around it ever since. I just dont understand, he gave no inkling something was wrong or that he wanted to break-up?It just seems like im in denial or dont want to believe its over or there's something missing because I asked at the beginning of our relationship if he met someone he wanted to date would he tell me, he said yes he wouls be honest with, if that ever happened, I guess im holding on to that.

Why even spend the $400+ to come anyways? ?

Could it be possible something happened to him? car accident? fallen ill? got arrested and is in jail?

[venus1173]

Continuation...

Continuation of my last thread...

Monday I sent him a long series of text asking why he left without a word and of course no response, I sent him fb message this morning stating how I felt.... ive probably sent him 60+ texts and fb messages over the past month alone. Still no reply .. for some reason I jus t cant shake him, I love him soo much, and his ignoring of me is just killing me. I believe d everything he said when he visited that he was never going anywhere. I feel so broken

[VincenzoG91]

60+ messages without reply? Stop it, that's crazy behavior. His depraved indifference is also borderline crazy, and more importantly, a sign that the two of you were never compatible. For whatever reason, he is clearly not interested anymore, and he clearly doesn't want to talk about it. I get it, you at least want closure, but he isn't going to give it to you, so you need to forget about him.

[basilandthyme]

60+ messages? I thought I was crazy when I left 3 or 4 pleading messages for someone who ghosted on me once LOL

Hon, you'll never know what went wrong. But I hope you DO know that someone who will ghost without a word is not relationship material. I suggest you take an attitude of "I can do far better than a long distance thing with a guy who'll disappear without a word"

[smackie9]

Could it be possible he lied to you and is married? Long distance would make it easy to hide it. Google his name and see what comes up.

[venus1173]

It been 1 day of NC and it was hard!! I struggled a little bit, but I went and bought a journal and I'm going to starting writing in it, what you may not know about be is that I was sexually assaulted a year ago and he was my first relationship in a year and a half, I'm just worried that men would view me as damaged goods..... I know i need to work on my emotions and stop being insecure in relationships period.

Thanks

[Wakeup]

What do you mean it's been one day of no contact? You said you haven't heard from him in a month?

You're not making much sense.

Has his facebook gone dead (no updates from him since he did the fade on you?
Is he still in the army?
do you know any of his friends/family?
Have you read what smackie asked you (in both her posts)?

[smackie9]

Wakeup she means 1 day without her sending 60 messages to him.

[Wakeup]

... lmao ...

[venus1173]

I think im beginning to falter im just so hurt by this... all the ignoring/avoiding wasnt called for nor necessary

[smackie9]

So let me get this straight...you met 3 years ago, then he was deployed and didn't hear from him until 3 years later, then 3 years later he calls you up, agrees to a long distance relationship, meets up with you for 2 days (for sex?) and then you don't hear from him again. How long was this long distance relationship? From the time he contacted you again til the time he saw you? I'm confused about the timeline here.....if this only went on for a month I think you need to see a therapist because you have invested way too much of yourself into something in that short of time..... Sounds to me he manipulated you, and used you. How much do you really know of this guy anyways? I mean total time spent with him and talking to him.

[venus1173]

So let me get this straight...you met 3 years ago, then he was deployed and didn't hear from him until 3 years later, then 3 years later he calls you up, agrees to a long distance relationship, meets up with you for 2 days (for sex?) and then you don't hear from him again. How long was this long distance relationship? From the time he contacted you again til the time he saw you? I'm confused about the timeline here.....if this only went on for a month I think you need to see a therapist because you have invested way too much of yourself into something in that short of time..... Sounds to me he manipulated you, and used you. How much do you really know of this guy anyways? I mean total time spent with him and talking to him.

He contacted me again January of this year, I didnt get to physically see him until june because im in school in between we talked on the phone and Skyped