Waste of time or he likes me ?

[rachel15]

Hi ! I really need your opinion on this. I really like this guy who attends law uni with me. We're both 21. He`s something like my long lost soulmate, basically it`s just like if he was an exact copy of me but with a man`s body. We`ve known each other for 2 years now but we really began to spend time with each other as friends about 3 months ago.

Our mutual friends always tease us when they see us together and when his own friends see me (even some of his friends I had never seen in my life before), they always yell "hey look it`s Alex`s girlfriend" or "go out with Alex" at me and they keep telling me how great, beautiful, smart etc he is. The thing is I told him about his friends because I didn`t want him to think that I was the one who launched this "rumor" and he said that I didn`t need to worry about it, that he knew his friends and that it was totally their kind. I`m 120% sure he wouldn`t tell them his feelings for me exactly because he knows that they would tease us so how the hell did his friends come up with the idea that I was his girlfriend ?

He always initiates text/fb conversations by sending me music (we are both really passionated about soft music) or asking questions about me and my life beyond the generic "What have you been up to ?" or "Hey everything`s good ?" and I always reply but then he takes hours and hours, sometimes days, to reply back (even though he`s online and I know that he saw my message because of the "seen at 20h35" thing on Facebook). So I`m just wondering (it`s killing me in fact), is he just bored and doesn`t give a damn about what I say but he`s being friendly so he keeps replying (and in this case why does he keep initiating when I don`t reply anymore) ? Or is he just shy/lost for words/doesn`t want to say something stupid so he takes hours to think of something smart/impressive to reply (too good to be true) ? And every time I go online on Facebook :
- He either begins to listen to music (songs he knows I like) even though he has been online the whole day without listening to anything
- Or he waits for something like 2 minutes then disconnects and comes back online only if I randomly like/ comment something on fb (I'm pretty sure it's not a coincidence) and he just stays there online without talking to me for hours, then after I disconnect, he sends me a random inbox.

Yesterday he texted me out of nowhere to tell me "I`m so excited, I`m going to Australia in 1 month! I just had to tell you :)" why the fu** did he "had" to tell it to me ? I know I`m over thinking everything but he`s killing me ! We have several quiet evenings/concerts planned in the next 4 months with just the two of us but I don`t even know if those are supposed to be dates or just two friends hanging out...

I came upon him at a party and we were both a little drunk. He basically abandoned his friends to stay with me until 8am, he bought me a drink (even though I didn`t want him to pay for me), he held my hand a lot (not sure if because he likes me or just didn`t want to lose me somewhere and remain all alone or just drunk) and when we danced (just so everybody knows, I dance like shit !) he kept stroking my arms/shoulders, he kept staring at me without saying anything (I almost died, he never did that before, he used to look away every time he caught me looking at him) and he told me that I had huge boobs (...) and that I was so hot (I don`t know how we came upon this, he would never had said that sober, way too shy). The thing is he was drunk so I don`t know what credit I should give to those things ? I just feel like I can talk about anything with him and he always knows when something isn`t going right with me, I don`t even have to tell him, he just "gets" me and tries to help me. He will do any favor for me when sober but he's just so naturally nice and kind, I don`t know if he`s like that with everyone else or just with me.

Another thing that`s pretty annoying is that he always calls me by my first name when he talks to me while even his friends call me by a nickname.

We always have something to say to each other, we laugh and smile like idiots etc... every time I see him, it`s just the new best day of my life and I feel like he does like me but it always gets awkward when we text each other... I mean I feel like he`s ignoring/avoiding me by the whole replying hours/days later thing. I really don`t know if he sees me like his boring friend or if he really likes me but he`s too shy/afraid to make any move ? One of our friends talked with him about our friendship-relationship and he said that he "doesn`t really know where we are at" (what does that mean ?) I think I love him. And I don`t want him to think he`s friend-zoned or something. So, for those who have read it all, what do you think ? Total waste of time or likes me ?

Thank you ! :)

(my post is not long at all)

[Maple1714]

Just ask him if he wants to date you. Be very straight forward and simply ask. I would bet he does like you as more than a friend...but the only way to find out is to ask. Stop guessing.

[Ann S]

I'd sit back and let him pursue you. I'd be a little less available. Get busy with a hobby or something. He has his own life - going to Australia - and you need to get one for yourself. Next, I wonder if he calls you by your first name because that makes it more intimate. He calls you something no one else does. Let it go. Why don't you take your time responding to his texts. Either he'll want more, or he won't care....then you'll know how he feels about you. Good Luck. Ann

[Maple1714]

I'd sit back and let him pursue you. I'd be a little less available. Get busy with a hobby or something. He has his own life - going to Australia - and you need to get one for yourself. Next, I wonder if he calls you by your first name because that makes it more intimate. He calls you something no one else does. Let it go. Why don't you take your time responding to his texts. Either he'll want more, or he won't care....then you'll know how he feels about you. Good Luck. Ann

I disagree. I think the OP should ask him if he would like to give dating a try. She said she thinks she is in love with him, so if she just sits back and waits for him to confess his love to her and it doesn't happen fast enough...intense infatuation will develop on her part. Sounds like it already has. The OP will sit there and feel the exact same way she already does....this situation will just intensify and she will be more confused. To me it sounds like he is already trying to pursue her.

OP - I had a male friend like this once. He would use my first name in texts, he would randomly send me messages and sometimes he would wait for a day or two to respond to mine etc...Guess what? He loved me. I asked and he told me. We never ended up dating b/c I didn't feel the same way But, I had to know how he felt b/c it was getting weird and I was wondering what his true intentions were being close to me. I didn't want to lead him on so I was upfront. He would wait to respond to my messages b/c he was trying to seem aloof....he didn't want to be too obvious. Anyway, I really think you should be confident in your feelings and express them to him. See what he says

[amatroll]

Hi ! I really need your opinion on this. I really like this guy who attends law uni with me. We're both 21. He`s something like my long lost soulmate, basically it`s just like if he was an exact copy of me but with a man`s body. We`ve known each other for 2 years now but we really began to spend time with each other as friends about 3 months ago.

Our mutual friends always tease us when they see us together and when his own friends see me (even some of his friends I had never seen in my life before), they always yell "hey look it`s Alex`s girlfriend" or "go out with Alex" at me and they keep telling me how great, beautiful, smart etc he is. The thing is I told him about his friends because I didn`t want him to think that I was the one who launched this "rumor" and he said that I didn`t need to worry about it, that he knew his friends and that it was totally their kind. I`m 120% sure he wouldn`t tell them his feelings for me exactly because he knows that they would tease us so how the hell did his friends come up with the idea that I was his girlfriend ?

He always initiates text/fb conversations by sending me music (we are both really passionated about soft music) or asking questions about me and my life beyond the generic "What have you been up to ?" or "Hey everything`s good ?" and I always reply but then he takes hours and hours, sometimes days, to reply back (even though he`s online and I know that he saw my message because of the "seen at 20h35" thing on Facebook). So I`m just wondering (it`s killing me in fact), is he just bored and doesn`t give a damn about what I say but he`s being friendly so he keeps replying (and in this case why does he keep initiating when I don`t reply anymore) ? Or is he just shy/lost for words/doesn`t want to say something stupid so he takes hours to think of something smart/impressive to reply (too good to be true) ? And every time I go online on Facebook :
- He either begins to listen to music (songs he knows I like) even though he has been online the whole day without listening to anything
- Or he waits for something like 2 minutes then disconnects and comes back online only if I randomly like/ comment something on fb (I'm pretty sure it's not a coincidence) and he just stays there online without talking to me for hours, then after I disconnect, he sends me a random inbox.

Yesterday he texted me out of nowhere to tell me "I`m so excited, I`m going to Australia in 1 month! I just had to tell you " why the fu** did he "had" to tell it to me ? I know I`m over thinking everything but he`s killing me ! We have several quiet evenings/concerts planned in the next 4 months with just the two of us but I don`t even know if those are supposed to be dates or just two friends hanging out...

I came upon him at a party and we were both a little drunk. He basically abandoned his friends to stay with me until 8am, he bought me a drink (even though I didn`t want him to pay for me), he held my hand a lot (not sure if because he likes me or just didn`t want to lose me somewhere and remain all alone or just drunk) and when we danced (just so everybody knows, I dance like shit !) he kept stroking my arms/shoulders, he kept staring at me without saying anything (I almost died, he never did that before, he used to look away every time he caught me looking at him) and he told me that I had huge boobs (...) and that I was so hot (I don`t know how we came upon this, he would never had said that sober, way too shy). The thing is he was drunk so I don`t know what credit I should give to those things ? I just feel like I can talk about anything with him and he always knows when something isn`t going right with me, I don`t even have to tell him, he just "gets" me and tries to help me. He will do any favor for me when sober but he's just so naturally nice and kind, I don`t know if he`s like that with everyone else or just with me.

Another thing that`s pretty annoying is that he always calls me by my first name when he talks to me while even his friends call me by a nickname.

We always have something to say to each other, we laugh and smile like idiots etc... every time I see him, it`s just the new best day of my life and I feel like he does like me but it always gets awkward when we text each other... I mean I feel like he`s ignoring/avoiding me by the whole replying hours/days later thing. I really don`t know if he sees me like his boring friend or if he really likes me but he`s too shy/afraid to make any move ? One of our friends talked with him about our friendship-relationship and he said that he "doesn`t really know where we are at" (what does that mean ?) I think I love him. And I don`t want him to think he`s friend-zoned or something. So, for those who have read it all, what do you think ? Total waste of time or likes me ?

Thank you !

(my post is not long at all)

[Ann S]

amatroll - indeed, you are.