He's always tooting his own horn. How can I curb this?

[shortyrock]

He's always talking himself up and saying how great he is, in other words.

It started off innocently enough. We work together, and it's a known fact he's very good at what he does. At first, the few self gratifying comments he was making I agreed with. They were few and far between and I thought there was no problem with letting him know I thought he was a great employee. These comments slowly started to increase in number and started to be about other aspects of his life, not just his career.

It's blaring obvious to me that he's insecure and needs to constantly talk himself up or reassure himself. This isn't a deal breaker for me, but I need some advice on how I can deal with this without being rude.

It especially bothers me when he goes on and on about how great he is at work. Like I said, we work for the same company, and although we work in two separate departments, it makes me feel bad about myself even though I know I'm a great asset as well. Just last night, I made a comment on how small our yearly raises are and how it's silly, and he started going on and on about how "Well, it's not like that for ME.", "I get so many hundreds of emails praising my work from clients". I'm a good employee too, but I don't go around screaming it from rooftops.

Later that night, he started with "I get complimented so much by clients that I don't know what to say. They just keep going and going and telling me they love me."

He even found it important to tell me that someone referred to him as "a gift from God".

He goes on about other things, like his athletic ability and how often he works out.

This turns me off entirely to whatever conversation we're having. I literally stop responding and don't want to be anywhere near him. He's a great guy and we have a blast when he's not making himself out to be wonderful. All of the things he says are true, but I don't want to constantly hear them. He's not humble at all and I don't know how to handle this.

Again, not trying to break up. What can I say when he says things like that?

[horndog]

Not to worry Michelle, in a few years you and your husband will be leaving The Whitehouse and things will settle down a bit. lol

[michelle23]

Look up narcissism: an inflated sense of your own self important. The need to be constantly praised and admired, seeks power, status, money etc. Puts others down whilst talking oneself up.. Vein, extreme insecurity, fragile ego, cocky, arragont

i could go on and on. I would run a mile from someone like this. Also look up the link between narcissism and cheating in a relationship.

This man is bad news

[shortyrock]

I'm not concerned about him cheating.

[shortyrock]

Not to worry Michelle, in a few years you and your husband will be leaving The Whitehouse and things will settle down a bit. lol

What?......

[fearoflove]

He has high self-worth and confidence. If the things he said is true, I don't see what is wrong with it. The only reason you feel bad about it is because you lack self-esteem or indeed is not as successful as him. Maybe work on yourself and you wouldn't feel so bad.

[michelle23]

Im not sure if that was some sort of dig at me or what so i just ignored it..

[horndog]

Im not sure if that was some sort of dig at me or what so i just ignored it..

Nope, not at all. It was just a bit of humor pointed at The US president whom many feel is a narcissist. His wife's name is Michelle.

[michelle23]

FOL confident people are modest. He doesnt have a modest bone in his body by the sounds of it. Hes just cocky and arragont with low self esteem and a fragile ego that constantly needs to be stroked. So unattractive..

OP criticize him and see how he reacts. Just something small like your so vein its a little annoying. See how he reacts. If he throws a shit storm-he is defo narcissistic. They cant handle criticism AT ALL ever!

[michelle23]

Nope, not at all. It was just a bit of humor pointed at The US president whom many feel is a narcissist. His wife's name is Michelle.

Haha ok sorry

[horndog]

Haha ok sorry

No problem.

[shortyrock]

He has high self-worth and confidence. If the things he said is true, I don't see what is wrong with it. The only reason you feel bad about it is because you lack self-esteem or indeed is not as successful as him. Maybe work on yourself and you wouldn't feel so bad.

I wouldn't say that. I just don't want to hear prolonged rants about how great *anyone* is.

[fearoflove]

FOL confident people are modest.

Nah, some people just pretend they are modest. But in their minds, successful confident people are thinking "I am the shit!".

[shortyrock]

FOL confident people are modest. He doesnt have a modest bone in his body by the sounds of it. Hes just cocky and arragont with low self esteem and a fragile ego that constantly needs to be stroked. So unattractive..

OP criticize him and see how he reacts. Just something small like your so vein its a little annoying. See how he reacts. If he throws a shit storm-he is defo narcissistic. They cant handle criticism AT ALL ever!

People at work, prior to us dating, were always saying how "he's so into himself". I never really saw it until now.

[michelle23]

I would break up with him. Perhaps hes not cheating now but he WILL be.. You cant trust someone who is so self entitled, thinks they are more important than anyone else. Does he lack empathy for others too? Unemotional? Selfish?


Is he possessive, jealous, paranod, controlling? Not yet? How long have you been dating?

Dog i agree that the president is prob narcissistic purely because he is THE PRESIDENT. I wouldnt trust anyone in politics. They persued that career for one reason- power