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Thread: some support needed

  1. #1
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    some support needed

    omg i am so freaking anxious and worried today. I emailed citizens information to ask for advice. I have never made a complaint at work before and I dont know what to expect or how to handle this. Somebody try to calm me down please. I had bad anxiety in the past but i dealt with it and have been fine for 6 months. Its back now multiplied by 100. im having panic attacks over this situation. I am worried he will deny everything and put all the blame on me. I am sitting here at work so tense waiting for my phone to ring and get fired or get a serious lecture. The rational part of my brain is saying calm down they cant fire you, you have not done anything wrong but the rest of me is panicking.

    he is such an asshole. I know he will try to talk his way out of it. He is either so thick that he honestly thinks he is right and I am wrong or he is just a manipulative f**k.
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    They are right nothing is going to happen. If he tries to fire you you can sue for wrongful dismissal. Anyways if they can't do anything about it, they will keep it on record and keep an eye on him. It's possible they will look into his work history to see if he has done this kind of conduct before with other employees. They will have records of other complaints to consider in their investigation. You definitely need proof, like emails, text messages or witnesses. You have to remember tho, if you don't have a past record of making numerous complaints of other staff members then they will take that into consideration as well.

    The key in all this is not to let your emotions get out of control or they will see you as unstable. You must keep cool and professional about it if you want them to take you seriously. Just state the facts and be done with it.

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    I have a tip on how to deal with this guy. Don't let it get to you. If you challenge him or get emotional on him, you show your weaknesses. This is how he knows what buttons to press to make you lose control. If you keep cool, agree with him (yes sir no sir) smile and fake your way through it, he will lose interest and find someone else to manipulate. By changing your attitude he will think he has won....now that's manipulation.

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    What excatly have happened? When you let it out it gets easier.

    Been in unpleasant situations at work too what helps is not to be afraid of losing job.This thought helps to do brave things. If you dont like It you can quit anytime you want. Its your choise. Better to lose job then confidence which will be needed in any other area of life. Just chill out cause no one deserves your best. They should be honored that you spend the best time of your life at them. Cause no money can buy this time. It depends on you where you decide to spend yourself.

    Anyway what helped me in dark moments is, calling samaritans, eating and sleeping a lot, going to church and going to gym with friend.

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    Smackie i said in my report that i dont want to cause trouble. I would just like to be put under a different supervisor. I have no proof-its my word against his. I dont like the way he speaks to me or talks down to me and i feel like hes watching me on camera all day every day waiting for me to make a mistake so he can berate me. He has rang me over the most petty things. The only solid think i have against him is that he singled me out a month ago and forced me to stand outside in the heat for over two hours. I am still upset over this and i approached him as i wanted an apology. Hes denying it all. He wouldnt even let me speak which is y i filed the report.

    Im not trying to get him fired or anything. I just dont want him as my boss asI find it v stressful to work with him. Is is reasonable to request a different supervisor and do they have to take my request seriously?
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Ill add his excuse for his behaviour that day is that i picked up what he was saying wrong. Hes saying he said to me there are 6 hours in the day where i could be handing out flyers and hes saying i said "its pointless" and a "waste of time". Hes also saying the only reason he rang me is coz my shop was so quite that month.

    But its all a lie. He text me that morning to hand out flyers every hour for 15minutes. He text everyone the same message. I did do that. He then rang me at 1:20 and his exact words were "they want you to hand out flyers for the rest of the day and from now on you have to do at least 6hours a day".. I then argued with him and said that is unreasonable. I said ive been working here 3 years and nobody has ever asked me to do that. I also said im not even on a busy street here, im not getting much flyers handed out outside, i put 300 into newspapers this morning-i wouldnt get even half that amount standing outside my shop all day.

    He tben said im gonna ring l now and tell her the same and r and s and im only doing my job. Head office requested it. He went on to say all the shops are quiet and we need to work together to make them busier.

    I rang L and R and he didnt tell them to do it so then i rang HR and she said 15mins every hour is enough.

    Hes lying about the whole conversation and the person he had with him that day (a witness) is prob gonna back up whatever he says coz he told me today on the phone that he made a note of our conversation and he had someone with him.

    I wrote in my report i could hear this "someone" laughing in the background that day on the phone which is true
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    From an outsiders perspective, there is a reason why they stuck this guy on you. You may think everything is peachy, and you do a stellar job, but when sales are down the company will be scrutinizing you and your performance and they don't need to tell you anything. I have 23 years with my company and I know no one likes someone new coming in and making changes. Everyone gets angry, offended and apprehensive. You haven't been singled out personally but your store has probably because it's showing lower numbers than other stores to no fault of yours. It is all about profit so they bring this guy in to make it happen. His suggestion may have sounded unreasonable to you, but he was doing it to get more numbers and not to inflict pain onto you. You are being way too emotional to reason with this whole thing, so I am warning you to keep your cool or you will be looked at at unstable, and if that happens they may take you out of your position.

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    But ALL the shops are extremely quiet. They have closed two of them. And he lied and said everyone has to do it and that its orders from head office which it wasnt.

    I will keep my cool at work. I always do. Its internally that im freaking out. On the outside i always appear cool and calm.

    I am stressed due to other reasons too which is likely y this is upsetting me so much. I just feel like he singled me out that day and he was being malicious. I always feel like he talks down to me. He wouldnt even listen to me yesterday-kept interupting me and had an answer for everything. Hes a smooth talker.

    I know that other employees are very unhappy with him too. 3 have rang me to rant about him and HR told one of them that there has been a few complaints against him

    its not the fact that hes new and things are changing. Ive handled that 5times before and it was never an issue. Its his lack of people skills and how he treats us
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Im wound up like a spring. So stressed over this. Bf keeps saying relax you have a new job lined up you will be out of there in a month.. But im scared that job will fall through
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    If there are two stores already closed down then that's why the pressure is on. Your store is obviously in a key location so that's why they haven't closed yours down. As for him lying, you never know the higher ups are the ones that are calling the shots and he is just following orders or maybe he is a twit. I myself being a manager have been put in a position to "follow" orders even tho I don't approve to save the company money. It's just part of doing business. If he is jeopardizing the company reputation or sales in anyway he will get fired, but rubbing a few employees the wrong may not constitute dismissal or being reprimanded.


    Why are you waiting on one job? you should be scoping out more than one. Keep your options open because when school is back in there will be more jobs available.

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    I dont want him dismissed or reprimanded. I would just like to work with a different supervisor on a day to day basis. I dont want to take any action against him. Im fair and reasonable and im the type who would feel a lot of guilt if he lost his job over me. When they ring me i will tell them that all i want is to work under someone else-i dont want a long drawn out debate over this. I just want to do my job in piece without feeling like im walking on eggshells.

    My interview went really well. Her husband told me that she loved me and he said off the record the job is mine as long as nothing drastic happens in the next few weeks. He said as long as the building doesnt burn down then the job is mine. He told me not to tell anyone yet as they need to interview a few more to follow legalities etc
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    I dont want him dismissed or reprimanded. I would just like to work with a different supervisor on a day to day basis. I dont want to take any action against him. Im fair and reasonable and im the type who would feel a lot of guilt if he lost his job over me. When they ring me i will tell them that all i want is to work under someone else-i dont want a long drawn out debate over this. I just want to do my job in piece without feeling like im walking on eggshells.

    My interview went really well. Her husband told me that she loved me and he said off the record the job is mine as long as nothing drastic happens in the next few weeks. He said as long as the building doesnt burn down then the job is mine. He told me not to tell anyone yet as they need to interview a few more to follow legalities etc
    I don't think that is fair to you....in fact I would take it with a grain of salt if they are still looking into other prospects. No you don't have the job then. You should keep looking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    omg i am so freaking anxious and worried today. I emailed citizens information to ask for advice. I have never made a complaint at work before and I dont know what to expect or how to handle this. Somebody try to calm me down please. I had bad anxiety in the past but i dealt with it and have been fine for 6 months. Its back now multiplied by 100. im having panic attacks over this situation. I am worried he will deny everything and put all the blame on me. I am sitting here at work so tense waiting for my phone to ring and get fired or get a serious lecture. The rational part of my brain is saying calm down they cant fire you, you have not done anything wrong but the rest of me is panicking.

    he is such an asshole. I know he will try to talk his way out of it. He is either so thick that he honestly thinks he is right and I am wrong or he is just a manipulative f**k.
    And? they don't have to be good to you. lol..

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    Look after yourself. You can bet he is.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    HR have still not gotten back to me although I made that complaint nearly two weeks ago. I am not sure what to say when they do finally contact me. Should i tell them I don't want to make a big deal out of this as he has left me alone these past two weeks? And just say I just want to get on with my work without feeling like I am walking on egg shells and without being spoken to and talked down to like a child. I just want them to be aware that I am unhappy with certain aspects of his management style (dictatorial) and feel he needs to tone it down a little and listen more instead of constantly talking over me
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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