hes been texting another woman but swears he didnt cheat. been together 11 years

[josie33]

why is it funny

[smackie9]

ok. its difficult. he doesnt use his phone like he did. but now when hes on pc im digging for things. yesterday i came home the pc was in sleep mode. he was outside n came in to say hi. i went upstairs to change clothes. when i came back down 5min later hes back outside n the pc was on no longer asleep. i convinecd myself he checked while i was upstairs he'd left no internet history i wouldnt want to se had been deleted. he swears blind he did not touch pc at all. its ridiculus. i know im looking for things but the other half worries hes found a way to talk to her online. he says im being paranoid.

Any sudden movement or vibration from a door slamming will make a computer come out of sleep mode.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's funny because of how much of a psycho, bunnyboiler you are. I've had my eye on this thread the whole time, and I think the whole damn thing is comical, because of just how much you have managed to delude yourself. You. Are. Nuts.

I keep saying it, and I dunno what it will take for them to believe me, but you Brits are a different sort of crazy.

[Wakeup]

It's funny because of how much of a psycho, bunnyboiler you are..

So it would seem.

Sorry josie but I'm thinking that there is no way this relationship is going to be a happy one ever again if you can't stop your micro-managing. Stop worrying that he's lying to you or it will NEVER get any better. Stop manufacturing red flags.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't think she is manufacturing the red flags. I think they are really there. He is probably just doing due diligence of covering his tracks. More will start to creep up as time goes on and he gets sloppier.

[josie33]

based on what?

[michelle23]

based on the fact that he has already been caught red handed luv but your still there driving yourself crazy going round and round in circles. y not just save yourself the misery and go your separate ways now? your gonna break up at some point anyway so y drag it out? he betrayed you, you dont trust him no more. it should be v simple to just walk away

[josie33]

very simple?? i wondered why it was thought he is carrying on lying. based on what i have said? so far everyone hear has responded to say im being paranoid n am looking for things that rnt there. now theres a comment that im not manufacturing red flags they r there.

[Wakeup]

I don't think she is manufacturing the red flags. I think they are really there. He is probably just doing due diligence of covering his tracks. More will start to creep up as time goes on and he gets sloppier.

Agree to disagree. IMO: If he could have simply left her and gone to the other woman if he actually wanted to. He has had several opportunities to do just that but has not. She WILL drive him away though, even if it's not for the original bimbo but rather her inability to move forward. Now, I'm not saying she should be able to just forget it happened, but if she's going to stay then she has to stop with stupid ****tard shit like looking at a computer going out of sleep mode as him still being on with this girl. If she's that unable to believe any word he says, then he will soon enough tell her to go **** herself. There is zero emotional reconnection in their union. ZERO.

[smackie9]

people you can't expect miracles over night, in a week or a month. It takes time to regain trust and it takes time to let go of an infactuation. They both have a lot of work ahead of themselves. She is just reaching out to us for support as she goes through the process of getting over what had happen. She's a bit shell shocked atm so everyone just give her a break.

[Wakeup]

I've given her lots of breaks on here... She's being ridiculous about things now and should try to chill or go get something in pill form to help her anxiety before she ****s this up. If she wants to stay then it's time she stopped putting him under the microscope.

No, no miracles over night but there is zero sense in being as paranoid as she's being at this point and checking computers that morph out and in of sleep mode.

Listening to people who have been cheated on and say they've put it behind them but obviously have not isn't helpful either.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

based on what?

Based on how crazy and retarded you are.

[josie33]

thanks smackie9. i dont know if any of you have been through this but maybe if you had youd be abit more sympathetic. did i think this would happen? no. did i think i would react this way? no. my whole life went upside down and im lost. moan all you like. i cant help the way i feel right now.

[josie33]

Based on how crazy and retarded you are.

thanks for your input. as useful as you have been throughout this.

[smackie9]

Wakeup she is not messing anything up by just coming here and expressing her feelings. It would be different if she was contantly confronting him about it and questioning him at every turn when he is on the computer or on his phone.....she just needs us to give her some reassurance to help her through this tough time. Is that too much to ask??