Guys: You marry this beautiful woman with a good personality but then turns ugly...

[Unusual]

Any guy who does that is shallow and clearly doesn't value any aspect of her except for her looks. It's a shame these days the majority of men are tarnished with a bad reputation as a result of the actions the minority take. It's like trying to keep a trophy shining to brag to your friends, and once the shine is gone, so is she - disgraceful

[okwhat2013]

I think looks are important but only early on in the relationship. If u see someone everyday the attraction leans more turn personality than looks and that is why a lot of marriages fail IMHO. Obviously if it is a drastic change that might be an issue but hell I have always dated very beautiful women and they got old and overweight(well they kept getting pregnant) but that was never the issue, I hardly noticed. It was the relationship failing because of other issues.

[smackie9]

Everyone has a different opinion about what they find attractive in a person. It's not all cut and dry typical model types. Sure I will look at a picture of an attractive guy and know he is attractive but I won't feel the attraction of wanting to be with them. I'm sure other people are the same way.

[fearoflove]

Bullshit. For an academic, you sure as hell have shit for brains.
What's more important is the personality because looks will one day fade. A nice hairline on a man becomes snow white and thinning. Big breasts on a woman become saggy, wrinkled bags on her chest. The personality is the only thing that survives the aging process.

And if I were involved with someone who had a great personality, he'd still be the man I would never want to live without even if he was severely disfigured in some kind of accident.

Without a deep connection between two personalities, you have no love. End of story.

Personalities change too. What is left is faith.

[RUTHLESS]

I can sort of relate to this situation. My girlfriend steadily put on a lot of weight about a year and a half after we started going out. I noticed, but I didn't mind a bit of weight to begin with. After a while she was really quite overweight, but I love her to bits so I just can't bring myself to break up with her.

She knows it bothers me, but she doesn't seem to have the will power to make a change to her life. I still want to be with her, but I just can't help looking at hot girls and thinking I wish my girlfriend looked like that. Don't get me wrong, she is really pretty, but I just don't find her body attractive.

You can say that I'm a bad boyfriend for feeling this way, but at the end of the day, you don't know how hard it is to stay with someone who you are not physically attracted to. Sure, I might be able to put up with this, because she means a lot to me. But I wouldn't judge somebody else for leaving their partner for this reason, nor would I blame them.

I bet the people who are criticising the OP have never been in this situation, maybe you would understand once you were

[YungCertified]

I can sort of relate to this situation. My girlfriend steadily put on a lot of weight about a year and a half after we started going out. I noticed, but I didn't mind a bit of weight to begin with. After a while she was really quite overweight, but I love her to bits so I just can't bring myself to break up with her.

She knows it bothers me, but she doesn't seem to have the will power to make a change to her life. I still want to be with her, but I just can't help looking at hot girls and thinking I wish my girlfriend looked like that. Don't get me wrong, she is really pretty, but I just don't find her body attractive.

You can say that I'm a bad boyfriend for feeling this way, but at the end of the day, you don't know how hard it is to stay with someone who you are not physically attracted to. Sure, I might be able to put up with this, because she means a lot to me. But I wouldn't judge somebody else for leaving their partner for this reason, nor would I blame them.

I bet the people who are criticising the OP have never been in this situation, maybe you would understand once you were

People criticise the OP as she makes these threads every bloody two days. Look at her past threads they are all basically this over and over again.

To be fair you have a valid reason. I think it's not that fair for the person to let go and sort of pig out and get fat in a relationship. If you get with someone who cared about her health and then suddenly got a bf and thought now I can pig out, then yeah you have a valid reason for leaving her.

OP didn't mean what you are applying.

[Stickleback]

Yes they are (so are girls in fact).

I've known girls, stunning, drop dead gorgeous girls, who, after five minutes in their company, I've been totally turned off because of their horrible self-centred, bitchy attitude.

I've also known girls who, modern society would consider to be ugly, who's persona is so enchanting, their nature so sweet, that you can't help but be enchanted by them.

Looks are superficial, nothing more. It's a trite cliche, but it happens to be true, the person inside is what counts.

[Exeter19]

what turns ugly, her face, body or her personality, i don't understand your question. if i fell for a hot girl and i loved her and not only just how she looked and she got burned in a accident and others saw her as ugly i would still love her because she would be in my heart love, not only a superficial love, if you get me.

[Kromat83]

I used to be quite overweight, and I know that girls can be shallow, and at the beginning of the year, I decided to change the my appearance, because I just didn't feel good inside and lacked the energy.
Some people have said I'm good looking, but I would rather they get to know me for my personality.
I like to keep active, so with all the physical activities, i need to exercise.
As long as the girl can enjoy what I like and i can share in what she does, and i can clearly see that she loves me, then I think I'll go with that person.
You can help people with their looks, but their personality and character will remain, that is why I think as we get old, we need to give as many people a chance, so we find what we are looking for a lot sooner.


If you think your ugly and have no confidence to show people who you really are, than that is what people will notice about you, since your always done on yourself.

When I visit places and I see a physically active girl with someone kind of chubby, it makes me happy, because she clearly sees something in that person, and they match up emotionally.

[pcmaster]

When I visit places and I see a physically active girl with someone kind of chubby, it makes me happy, because she clearly sees something in that person, and they match up emotionally.

I see what you mean. It makes me truly smile when I see guy holding hands with double his size girl.

[Kromat83]

when I used to start dating my ex, I was 40+ pounds bigger, but I wanted to change the way I felt and just expressing the type of person that I am, made me liked by the other.
I mainly went on to exercise, so I had more energy and motivation, because previously I was mainly just eating junk food and drinking sugary pop, and was extremely lazy.
Now I want to better myself mentally, and push myself even more physically and hold off dating until I am clearly happy with where my path is going, I can't rush what I want in life, but need to put in the effort to achieve it.

[jcm]

Marriage is a contract so in my opinion, unless she cheated on me or died, I would do my best to work with the contract that has been established.