Can A Girl Give Me The Marriage I Want? I really need your opinions on this.

[TAEHSAEN]

Well, I'm 20 years old and I'm in college in New York. I've never been kissed in my life and I've never been able to be in a relationship (I liked a few girls every now and then but they never went anywhere).

[Well its my fault I guess because I'm not exactly physically attractive probably because I'm a little bit on the weighty side. I also have a bit of a hormonal imbalance and thus have man boobs as well.. HAHA there's your answer right there ^_^]


But the thing is, what I really want most in life is true love. I absolutely whole heatedly believe in it. Every now and then I wake up motivated to lose weight and seek solutions but every single day I feel hopeless and disappointed.


All I think about is my future wife (whoever she may be). I think about how I want to think about her 24/7. I think about how we will go to six flags on the weekends, go to the beach, go abroad. How I would surprise her every day and how whenever I come back home from work, we would run towards each other and embrace each other and I would lift her and spin her (just like the movies haha typical. I know.) Preferably, I would even love it if she worked with me at the same place so that we don't have to be apart (although I know its healthy to not ALWAYS be together). I would do EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING for her. I will love her to death. The thing is, when I was younger I used to think about suicide all the time. I felt like there was just no point to life. But I came out of it thinking about how good my life would be once I find my true love. The thing is, I came out of it ONLY because of her and the only reason I am living right now is because I don't want to take myself away from her.

Lets admit it, even fat guys like me can get laid with a girl whose drunk enough at the bar. But I don't go to the bars because I've already made a commitment to my future wife and I would NEVER EVER do anything to break her heart. The only reason I am alive is because of her. I absolutely want my life to revolve around her and she would ALWAYS come first no matter what. To be honest, if I could, I would just hang out with her all day long and not even care about work or ANYTHING ELSE. The only reason I would even get a job is because I want to support her and I want to bring her gifts whenever I can. As freaky as this will sound, I even hope that we die together at the same time because I know that I would not be able to handle her death (nor would she be able to handle mine). I want us to go to heaven together and be with each other forever. Although I haven't been praying recently, but whenever I do, I pray to God to help me find my true love and I pray that our love for each other would be something that this world has never seen, that it would never fade. I would NEVER let my love fade. If I ever even feel doubts I would go to a relationship expert and fix it up. I want my first girl to be my last and I wouldn't let it be any other way.

My marriage with my soul mate will transcend the bounds of human commitment. She really does mean everything to me. Believe me when I say this, there is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING more in life that I want other than true love. Its the only thing I want.

But the only thing I want from my wife, is that she would love me back the same way (and hopefully even more if that's possible).


But each day I live, I feel more disappointed. All the girls I see, almost 99% of them only care about their careers and where they want to be. If someone asks me what I want most in life or what I'm aiming for, my answer is simple - to find true love and be happily married. But NO ONE I know of, feels the same way.

I see girls cheat on their husbands and boyfriends and then go in and out of relationships as if they were changing clothes. I feel like one cares about love and commitment anymore.

No one I know would be willing to let their life revolve around me the way I want to let mine revolve around hers.


I always keep my commitments and I will do EVERYTHING to keep my promises to my wife. So I do believe true love does exist from my part. But I want to know if any of YOU would PERSONALLY do the same as I would or feel the same as me. I know there is a girl somewhere out there, but I need to REALLY know that there are people like that out there. I just need some hope right now that's all.




So I guess this is the best place to ask. Would anyone of you here be willing to do everything for your husband, that I am willing to do for my wife? Would anyone of you be able to love your husband the same way I would love my wife? Would you let your life revolve around hers?

[TAEHSAEN]

I'm really sorry for the long post but I really hope you girls read it.


I also wanted to say that I am not willing to change my ways because I have already made a mental commitment to my wife and I am not willing to break it. I want my first girl to be my last and I want her to love me to death the way I would to her.

I know its tough, but once I get a proper job, I plan on using eharmony to help me find what I'm looking for because otherwise, I really haven't met ANYONE who feels the way I do.

That's why I decided to come here and ask you girls this question. I need to know, REALLY KNOW that there are people like me who actually exist so that I can at least have a little hope.

[TAEHSAEN]

Basically what I meant to ask, do you guys at least KNOW anyone who feels the same way I do? Are there other people out there who look at life solely through love and nothing else?

[Noveyor]

YES, FINALLY, you are the closest male that thinks like me. Every other male I've met just watches porn and doesn't put much weight on a relationship with a girl as you do. In fact, they don't care if they get dumped, as long as they got what they wanted. Well, I'm not gonna judge that actually, I think its something that is allowed in this world. It's a long explanation I don't really want to dwelve on right now.

You have some striking similarities to me, with some differences in thought, but nonetheless, like I said, I've never seen a male say the things you do.

Some differences: As a kid, I mentally prepared myself for my future wife, but then thought I was going to be an ugly adult, so I instead mentally prepared myself for a lifetime of solitude and accepted it. I was happy for the beatiful people who could get into relationships{although, I eyed the nature of beauty as there being something wrong with it.}

By middle school, in a horrific twist of fate, it turned out I was one of the "beatiful" people. Suddenly I had girls liking me. I didn't pick any as I felt this incredible fear like I had to choose right and could only do it once. ALSO, the negative side I bet you would have never thought of: OTHER GUYS ATTACK YOU OUT OF JEALOUSY. That took me completely by surprise, but I found it humorous since I was a late bloomer and didn't feel physical attraction until two years after guys. I look back and laugh at all the times guys grabbed me by the collar and lifted me off the ground or against the wall, asking me ferociously if I liked their crush or to promise them I would never like their crush or whatever hormone driven demand they had. I also got punched or hit on the head over girls. I found it funny then, and I still find it funny now. I like to call them my "reality checkers". They are part of the reason I decided something was wrong with relationships as a whole if people are gonna act that way.

Yeah, so being physically attractive will not help you find true love. It truly can only come from being sincere in mind, soul, and body.

Also, like you, I never kissed in the lips because I was saving it for my future wife, however, I also took it many steps further. I had completely avoided porn from the moment I found out of its existence, even at the cost of social acceptance{other guys didn't want to hang out with the guy who didn't look at porn}. I had only 2 real friend who respected my decision even though they were normal, porn watching guys. Truly righteous people they are.

Also, I had avoided masterbation as well, despite the overbearing power of hormones and their overwhelming call to do so. It was the hardest time of my life. I felt like I was only half a person then as a side affect of resisting hormones. I did this because I sincerely only wanted to have sexual experiences through my girlfriend/future wife.

I never got to be in a relationship because the girls, like their male counterparts in the area, didn't hold relationships in high regard, rather, it was about the physical experience and not the person. Guys and girls were in and out of relationships in weeks, only person I knew that had kept the same person was a girl who had the same boyfriend since she was 13. She truly had integrity and enjoyed being in a monogomous relationship with her first and only. I met her again in college and she was with the same guy. I told her how beautiful of a relationship she had and was kind of envious since that was also the life I wanted. Last I heard of them, they had a kid.

Yeah, you just get lucky, and for others, you may never find it. I too was also suicidal at some point in highschool. I didn't get out of it the way you did though, I just simply endured it and the feelings went away on their own. I think suicide is stupid though, its better to live life as long as possible and gain as much wisdom as you can to find out the answer to WHY. I have been observing and studying people's relationships for years, and I'm close to finding out something about relationships.

I am not unhappy that I am single, and these days, I no longer think about a "future wife". I'd rather find out why I wasn't able to meet a girl that mirrored my feelings back then, instead of wasting more time trying to find a girl when the odds at this point are nill/zero. And even if I do, it would have been better if me and her met when we were younger and had more time to spend as well as getting to experience things you can't experience outside of that age.

I really wish I knew what would have happened if I had a girlfriend when I had high hormones and got to kiss her and embrace her. Would my theories on love have been proven? I accept that I can never get married or find a girl, and hope the best for others and for those who do find their true love and get to experience that which I never will.

[basilandthyme]

Are there other people out there who look at life solely through love and nothing else?

Yes, I think there are people out there who view love as the only important thing. I'm not one of them though...