To Dump or not to Dump? That is the question.

[douloveme613]

I was a naughty girl and I snooped on my boyfriend's computer while he was sleeping. He keeps logs of his conversations, so I guess I'm only half to blame? Well, anyway ... I found a log of a conversation with this girl he used to have a "fling" with and he said some horrible things ... such as "I'm only with her (ME) because she kept bugging me about it and I've been too lazy to do anything about it", "she's fun to hang out with but I don't love her", "I can't see myself marrying her, so that's pretty limiting" - None of which I would ever imagine him saying .... it's horrible. I almost lost my mind. What should I do? I confronted him about it and he said that he was upset with me and it was out of context. But I can't get it out of my mind.

[roxamillion]

Wow, I would be floored. I am probably not the person to say this since I just broke up with my bf, but dump him. If he says these things in a letter to his ex then he must mean them unless he just wants in her pants.

[whaywardj]

End it. The saddest part of this is that, from this point forward in all your future relationships, you're going to be tempted to snoop around your partner's personal business to see if you can discover any deceptions. Generally, if you look hard enough, you usually find something that resembles what you're seeking.

[shh!]

Get rid of him, or wait till he gets rid of you. Your choice.

[TAVS]

Dump him. These may not be his true feelings but the fact he said them to another woman tells you something. Either it's the truth or he's trying to get with someone else.

[Tone]

Yeah, leave him.

[douloveme613]

This was my first response as well. Same as all of you. Leave the a$$hole. But ... I'm not sure it is what it seems. Call me delusional, call me what you will .... But he does have a HOT temper and he does tend to say things he doesn't necessarily mean. I understand that these things are worse than most things I could imagine .... but I asked him directly about each one and he said none are true. I know he wouldn't say he loved me if he didn't really mean it. I have invested almost 3 years into this relationship and we have plans of moving in together and so on down the road. I believe that he just gets carried away with talking to these petty little girls on the internet sometimes. ARghhhhhhhhh I don't know .

[Tone]

*sigh* I give up.

[Asip4u]

This was my first response as well. Same as all of you. Leave the a$$hole. But ... I'm not sure it is what it seems. Call me delusional, call me what you will .... But he does have a HOT temper and he does tend to say things he doesn't necessarily mean. I understand that these things are worse than most things I could imagine .... but I asked him directly about each one and he said none are true. I know he wouldn't say he loved me if he didn't really mean it. I have invested almost 3 years into this relationship and we have plans of moving in together and so on down the road. I believe that he just gets carried away with talking to these petty little girls on the internet sometimes. ARghhhhhhhhh I don't know .

You know him best so it's hard for anyone here to tell you what you should do. I do agree that some guys will act differently with other girls just for attention so it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you, but again, it all depends on whether you believe him or not.

[whaywardj]

I can only conclude, douloveme, that you prefer the certainty of disappointment over the uncertainty of setting your limits.

[kikay]

I was a naughty girl and I snooped on my boyfriend's computer while he was sleeping. He keeps logs of his conversations, so I guess I'm only half to blame? Well, anyway ... I found a log of a conversation with this girl he used to have a "fling" with and he said some horrible things ... such as "I'm only with her (ME) because she kept bugging me about it and I've been too lazy to do anything about it", "she's fun to hang out with but I don't love her", "I can't see myself marrying her, so that's pretty limiting" - None of which I would ever imagine him saying .... it's horrible. I almost lost my mind. What should I do? I confronted him about it and he said that he was upset with me and it was out of context. But I can't get it out of my mind.

that was horrible. Its really upsetting to see those kinds of mssgs. i know how you feel. i just hope everything would turn out ok. Always pray. God bless!

[artyemi]

This was my first response as well. Same as all of you. Leave the a$$hole. But ... I'm not sure it is what it seems. Call me delusional, call me what you will .... But he does have a HOT temper and he does tend to say things he doesn't necessarily mean. I understand that these things are worse than most things I could imagine .... but I asked him directly about each one and he said none are true. I know he wouldn't say he loved me if he didn't really mean it. I have invested almost 3 years into this relationship and we have plans of moving in together and so on down the road. I believe that he just gets carried away with talking to these petty little girls on the internet sometimes. ARghhhhhhhhh I don't know .

He gets carried away because he's only with you because he's too lazy to do anything about it.

[Tommy]

*sigh* I give up.

LoL I drained all of Tone's energy lately with my thread

[vivian]

Girl! I'm in such a similar situation *confessed snooper* You should definitely dump him. It will just drive you crazy like my situation is at the moment.

I know how you feel.

[Gray]

You know him best so it's hard for anyone here to tell you what you should do. I do agree that some guys will act differently with other girls just for attention so it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you, but again, it all depends on whether you believe him or not.

is that true? why do guys do that??...i mean, why do they have to act like someone else or lie to other girls for attention,???if you have a girl, you'll never be with anybody else...??????