Erectile dysfunction... :(

[YoungCosmo]

Yeah, I know....

[searock]

YC, do you have problems getting an erection when you masturbate by yourself? If not, I really don't think it's a physical problem.

I think your problem is purely psychological: performance anxiety. It's quite expectable, considering all the pressure you put on yourself when it comes to sex. See a doctor just to be sure, but really, if you have no problem getting an erection when you're by yourself, there's nothing physically wrong with your "stuff".

Here's what you can try, next time you're in bed with a girl. Focus only on her pleasure. Use your fingers, tongue, do everything that comes into your mind just to make her feel pleasure. After that, when you sense that she has had LOTS of fun, have intercourse. I think that knowing that you have made her feel so much pleasure before even having intercourse will relieve some of the pressure you put on yourself to "do a good job".

[YoungCosmo]

I do have a very difficult time getting hard even solo. I hope she'll let me come over again and try your suggestion but I am not sure after 3 disappointments...Girls generally give up on a guy after 3 chances if they aren't dating them, don't they?

[searock]

I do have a very difficult time getting hard even solo.

Then, do go to the doctor. Don't ignore these symptoms, it's not medically normal to have issues with erections at your age.

I hope she'll let me come over again and try your suggestion but I am not sure after 3 disappointments...Girls generally give up on a guy after 3 chances if they aren't dating them, don't they?

I know you're pulling my leg, but I'll tell you anyway: it depends on the girl. Asking her for another chance isn't going to cost you a thing, and if she agrees, well, you'll have another chance.

Go see a doctor.

[ninetoe1024]

Relax man, just see the doc, He'll take good care of you. This is a problem for a lot of guys, so I hear, and just don't fight it before going
to the doc. IF and ONLY if the doc says it's physical problem, then try remedies, if doc say you ok, then go see your psychiatrist. I know
I get nervous just _talking_ to girls, (have not had any sex with anyone, won't until marriage) so relax, and just enjoy life as you are, like
Thomas Jefferson said, in his list of Ten Commandments, "Take things always by the smooth handle." Don't fight until you have orders from
General Doctor.

[dem862]

Oh well. That's certainly a bummer. Have you considered taking up knitting?

[jnickjohns]

I've noticed that my partner gets nervous when we have sex occasionally. He will go totally flaccid during sex.

I usually tell him to relax, lay back, and then just pleasure him without the pressure of pleasing me. Maybe you're obsessing a little too much over it and it's making it worse?

[YoungCosmo]

So this isn't that uncommon?

[searock]

YC, seriously? We've been telling you since the start that it's NOT uncommon to go flaccid during sex, if you're not relaxed. It's the equivalent of a woman not being lubricated or "open" enough, if she's not relaxed.

However, you have issues with maintaining erections even when you're by yourself, presumably relaxed. This can mean that there's a physical reason behind your "dysfunction", which means you should see a doctor.

[HDBadger]

If you're also having problems when whacking it, I would definitely see a doctor.

One other thing, though: Do you find this girl attractive? Be honest. If she's not good looking and her body isn't good, it'll be really difficult to get hard.

If you took a hundred random women off the street, I wouldn't get hard with 90%+ of them. So you could certainly have a health problem that needs addressing here, but it might just be a matter of finding a woman who really ticks your boxes. Nothing kills an erection faster than a girl who isn't physically attractive.

[searock]

Nothing kills an erection faster than a girl who isn't physically attractive.

Really? Nothing?

Anyway, if he's seeing this girl it's because he is attracted to her... he wouldn't sleep with her (or try to sleep with her) otherwise.

[HDBadger]

Really? Nothing?

Anyway, if he's seeing this girl it's because he is attracted to her... he wouldn't sleep with her (or try to sleep with her) otherwise.

Yes, nothing. If a guy really doesn't like a girl's face or body, sex is not happening. Nothing else can overcome that.

And, from all of YC's posts, it's very possible that he's not into this girl but just wants to have sex because he's frustrated not having it. It's a *possible* explanation as to why he can't get it up.

[searock]

Yes, nothing. If a guy really doesn't like a girl's face or body, sex is not happening. Nothing else can overcome that.

I'm not doubting that, I'm saying that surely there are things that kill an erection more than an unattractive female. Like seeing a rotting human corpse or something.

from all of YC's posts, it's very possible that he's not into this girl but just wants to have sex because he's frustrated not having it. It's a *possible* explanation as to why he can't get it up.

He has issues with erections even when he's by himself, so I don't think it's that.

[HDBadger]

I'm not doubting that, I'm saying that surely there are things that kill an erection more than an unattractive female. Like seeing a rotting human corpse or something.



He has issues with erections even when he's by himself, so I don't think it's that.

I get what you're saying about the corpse thing, but, even using that extreme example, that wouldn't affect most guys sexually. Sure it would be gross, and it definitely wouldn't put most people in the mood for sex, but you can't really overestimate how important looks are for guys from a purely sexual standpoint.

Continuing with the ridiculous example, if Megan Fox, a rotting corpse, and a dude were in a room and Megan started f*cking the guy, plenty of guys would still get hard. But very few guys, if any, can get hard with a girl they simply find to be very unappealing. It's almost impossible.

I agree with you that it sounds like YC needs to see a doc and get himself checked, because maybe something is going on here.

[searock]

I get what you're saying about the corpse thing, but, even using that extreme example, that wouldn't affect most guys sexually. Sure it would be gross, and it definitely wouldn't put most people in the mood for sex, but you can't really overestimate how important looks are for guys from a purely sexual standpoint.

So if you're having an erection, you are most likely to lose it by seeing an unattractive woman than a rotting human corpse. Ok.

Continuing with the ridiculous example, if Megan Fox, a rotting corpse, and a dude were in a room and Megan started f*cking the guy, plenty of guys would still get hard. But very few guys, if any, can get hard with a girl they simply find to be very unappealing. It's almost impossible.

So in this scenario of Megan Fox having sex with the guy, he is more likely to lose his erection if he saw an unattractive woman walking in than he would be if he saw a rotting corpse on the floor.

I get what you're saying - your point is that it's impossible for a guy to get hard with a person he isn't attracted to. It works the same way for women too, it's not a gender thing. What you originally said though is that "Nothing kills an erection faster than a girl who isn't physically attractive" - which is a different thing.

I agree with you that it sounds like YC needs to see a doc and get himself checked, because maybe something is going on here.

Yes - I hope he will take everyone's advice and get himself checked.