Hello-Im in a new relationship and concerned...

[averageguy6]

Hi Everyone,

I just need to vent and get any advice. Im from California.

First of all Im getting divorced....I was married for 13 years and with my ex for a total of 23. Im mid 40's guy. Im a professional. I have a 13 year old girl and Im having some difficulties with that, but that is another story!

So I tried to work things out with my ex for well over a year but we failed. So I decided to go for the divorce finally.

So Im in a new relationship with a foreign lady much younger than myself. She is Thai and I met her there. She can not travel to the USA. I have been with her for a little over two months now and I have visited her in Thailand twice and now we are on an 11 day trip together in Japan. I have a very complex relationship with her!

Anyway, all the complexities aside, she is generally highly sexual unlike my ex who basically did not like sex and it turned out was a closet sadomasochist sexually...but can not accept herself that way...I know bizarre...I could not take it anymore.

As for this young lady we have spent about 25 days together now (basically 24 hrs a day) on 3 separate trips about a month apart each.

We generally have sex 3 times a day sometimes a little more or less. I am absolutely sexually infatuated with her. She is 21 years of age. She can be incredible and I have never experienced anything like her in my life when she wants to go for it she is a monster! I find it a sublime experience and I can not get enough.

Really Im infatuated with her that way. When Im not around her Im not hypersexual person....normal Id say.

Basically when Im around her I want to have sex with her all the time.

Its generally what she wants BUT...

(1) She has a never ending list of maddening minor medical issues that come up....urinary tract infections, headaches, nausea, constipation, irritation in vaginal area

(2) She is incredibly emotionally sensitive

(3) She can be very difficult to communicate with not answering my straight questions sometimes..her English is fair to good most of the time.

(4) She wants to have a baby obviously....although she wants me to be happy, and is willing to do birth control, she is clearly worried about it all the time and makes hints about me not wanting a baby all the time.

So I have been doing everything to work towards getting her a fiancee VISA to come to USA...got my divorce accelerated, changed my work schedule so I can visit her 2 weeks out of every 5 (flying back and forth from CA to Thailand ..or Japan this time)....

We talk about this all the time...and Im telling her I want to marry her..but I think she could be a horrible choice for me and I think Im just sexually infatuated with her.

Basically if Im unable to have sex with her Im frustrated....up until this week that was never a problem with her initiating several times a day..but with this trip and all the various medical issues its been a constant source of worry for me (although we still end up doing it 2-4 times per day each day so far).

I think I want to have an exotic GF and I want to have a highly sexual relationship with a young lady...sorry but its just a fact....

I have done many things for her financially so I think she is getting treated like a princess...Im well off so its not a huge issue for me.....

But do I really want to marry her?

Will this sexual infatuation go away and turn into a normal affection and acceptance of a normal sex life of a few times a week?

I dont know what to do...Im with her for 3 more days then Im back to San Diego and she is back to Thailand and we plan to see each other again in 3 weeks.....

I dont know what to do...when Im at home all I can do is think about her....she is generally loving and affectionate too....

I just dont know...

Thanks..

[AdminOnline]

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[michelle23]

I think this is all just lust. After a sexually frustrating marriage, possible depression, stress, loss etc you would likely experience hyper sexuality with any new lady. It will wear off. Its possible she is just doing whatever you want to get her VISA, marriage, baby and then she will turn into your ex wife.

All these "medical issues" are excuses because she doesn't want to have sex with you-at least not as much as you want to have. And she is using you for financial reasons.

I suggest you get some counselling. It sounds to me like you are having a possible "mid-life crisis". Sure having a girl young enough to be your daughter may seem like every rich mans dream for now but it will soon become a nightmare. Sex is not enough on its own to make you happy. Sooner or later, you will want love, affection, intelligent communication, maturity and so on...

[Millie]

Lol. I hate to break it to you but she's a 21 year old Thai girl and you're an older American guy, she'll keep having sex with you 3 times a day, just as she's laugh at all your jokes and tell you how amazing you are for as long as you keep taking her on vacation... or until she gets her visa... and not a moment longer.

[Valixy]

If this is the right relationship it's up to you two to decide, but just because she's Thai, it doesn't mean that she's all fake.

Her 'maddening problems': 'urinary tract infections, headaches, nausea, constipation, irritation in vaginal area' are not normal. You should really take in consideration her health issues especially because they might be provocked by too much sexual activity when you're together.

Maybe a good question that you should ask yourself is besides this great attraction that you two might maintain or experience a little bit less in time, how much more can you share together feeling comfortable?

[pcmaster]

Be carefull man. Hear story when thai girl got married with bussinessman, made a baby and then left, went back to thai and asked ridiculous money if he wanted to get his kid back. He find her on FB few years later trying to pull this trick with somone else(it was his fake profile). He went to thai and got his kid back and won in court to keep it.

[Constructo Man]

Haha I like your signature.

[averageguy6]

I think this is all just lust. After a sexually frustrating marriage, possible depression, stress, loss etc you would likely experience hyper sexuality with any new lady. It will wear off. Its possible she is just doing whatever you want to get her VISA, marriage, baby and then she will turn into your ex wife.

All these "medical issues" are excuses because she doesn't want to have sex with you-at least not as much as you want to have. And she is using you for financial reasons.

I suggest you get some counselling. It sounds to me like you are having a possible "mid-life crisis". Sure having a girl young enough to be your daughter may seem like every rich mans dream for now but it will soon become a nightmare. Sex is not enough on its own to make you happy. Sooner or later, you will want love, affection, intelligent communication, maturity and so on...

Well she still wants sex even when complaining about those other issues haha...so its not an excuse...

Thanks Ive absolutely considered all those issues of course.

[smackie9]

Keep wearing a condom and just enjoy the sex. My friend's son got mixed up with a Thai girl and he got totally burned. He married her, had a baby, got her into Canada, now she claims abuse, took the baby and left for the states, probably to hook up with some other naive guy.

[smackie9]

It wouldn't surprise with all those issues with her vagina and stuff, she has been mad f ucking other guys to get a visa.