Her sex history bothers me

[scotty17]

Hi guys,

Before I share my story, I should say that I am 21, have slept with 2 girls and have never had a real relationship before her.
I met her 5 months ago, at work. She loved me at first sight and tried to contact me via social network. She's 25, last year student, Chinese. I like her. Next thing I know, she spend a week in my place, and 1 month later I quit my job and move to her place. We love each other very much, thinking about marriage very quickly and we promise each other eternal love. I know that may seem quite impossible to believe, but I truly love her and I never imagined I could find a girl like this, a girl who truly loves me and a girl I would like to spend my life with.
Here is the catch. We discussed some day about our sex history. She had her first 1.5 year ago, passably drunk with her then boyfriend. She broke up with him, as she discovered he was cheating on her. She then tell me she use this app to meet strangers because she feels lonely. She meets one on his place, she stays and fcks there 3 days. She realized he doesn't care about her and leave. But stays in contact. Later, she goes to another city, alone, and decided to go to club. One thing leads to another and she fkcs a third one in a parking lot. The fourth is another man she finds on her app. The final one is me.
I know this could be something I shouldn't care about, but I keep thinking about that, about what she did, about them. Since she told me this, 4 months ago, I keep thinking about them at least once a day and I feel very sad. I couldn't imagine I would be bothered about her sexual past but I can't forget it. She basically used to sleep with strangers, including me as we slept together after the first date...

Any thoughts ? How can I go past this and just care about our relationship? Which is awesome, despite this little element.

Thanks guys.

[Kaius]

This is something called Retroactive Jealousy. It's fairly common, and really hard to overcome. If you truly want to stay with her, you will need therapy to overcome this. If not, you will eventually be consumed by this, and the relationship will end badly. You have to decide if she is worth it to you.

[surfhb2]

Hi guys,

Before I share my story, I should say that I am 21, have slept with 2 girls and have never had a real relationship before her.
I met her 5 months ago, at work. She loved me at first sight and tried to contact me via social network. She's 25, last year student, Chinese. I like her. Next thing I know, she spend a week in my place, and 1 month later I quit my job and move to her place. We love each other very much, thinking about marriage very quickly and we promise each other eternal love. I know that may seem quite impossible to believe, but I truly love her and I never imagined I could find a girl like this, a girl who truly loves me and a girl I would like to spend my life with.
Here is the catch. We discussed some day about our sex history. She had her first 1.5 year ago, passably drunk with her then boyfriend. She broke up with him, as she discovered he was cheating on her. She then tell me she use this app to meet strangers because she feels lonely. She meets one on his place, she stays and fcks there 3 days. She realized he doesn't care about her and leave. But stays in contact. Later, she goes to another city, alone, and decided to go to club. One thing leads to another and she fkcs a third one in a parking lot. The fourth is another man she finds on her app. The final one is me.
I know this could be something I shouldn't care about, but I keep thinking about that, about what she did, about them. Since she told me this, 4 months ago, I keep thinking about them at least once a day and I feel very sad. I couldn't imagine I would be bothered about her sexual past but I can't forget it. She basically used to sleep with strangers, including me as we slept together after the first date...

Any thoughts ? How can I go past this and just care about our relationship? Which is awesome, despite this little element.

Thanks guys.

You are a moron my friend

[surfhb2]

Hi guys,

Before I share my story, I should say that I am 21, have slept with 2 girls and have never had a real relationship before her.
I met her 5 months ago, at work. She loved me at first sight and tried to contact me via social network. She's 25, last year student, Chinese. I like her. Next thing I know, she spend a week in my place, and 1 month later I quit my job and move to her place. We love each other very much, thinking about marriage very quickly and we promise each other eternal love. I know that may seem quite impossible to believe, but I truly love her and I never imagined I could find a girl like this, a girl who truly loves me and a girl I would like to spend my life with.
Here is the catch. We discussed some day about our sex history. She had her first 1.5 year ago, passably drunk with her then boyfriend. She broke up with him, as she discovered he was cheating on her. She then tell me she use this app to meet strangers because she feels lonely. She meets one on his place, she stays and fcks there 3 days. She realized he doesn't care about her and leave. But stays in contact. Later, she goes to another city, alone, and decided to go to club. One thing leads to another and she fkcs a third one in a parking lot. The fourth is another man she finds on her app. The final one is me.
I know this could be something I shouldn't care about, but I keep thinking about that, about what she did, about them. Since she told me this, 4 months ago, I keep thinking about them at least once a day and I feel very sad. I couldn't imagine I would be bothered about her sexual past but I can't forget it. She basically used to sleep with strangers, including me as we slept together after the first date...

Any thoughts ? How can I go past this and just care about our relationship? Which is awesome, despite this little element.

Thanks guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moron_%28psychology%29

[scotty17]

I somehow knew someone would react that way, surfhb2. Congrats, you are the one.
Thanks for your post Kaius. Very helpful.

[Starnique]

The only thing crushed is your ego because you realized you were one of the numbers. Some chics act out sexually when their depressed or seeking attention. She was looking for something and found it with you. You moved in with her after a month and she's fast? A sexual past is very important imo to know about for safety reasons and to make sure their not issued or crazy. Thats it and if you can't handle the numbers or details then dont ask as a smart man knows not to ask and secure man shouldn't even care. Get over yourself.

[smackie9]

Your GF has extreme low self esteem and is co-dependent on your relationship. She is in love with being in love, and not in love with you. In fact you both are just obsessed with each other....living together after 5 weeks of knowing each other and talking about eternal love....that is crazy talk. This girl is going to turn into the GF from hell when her paranoia sets in with jealousy, accusing you of all kinds of things, texting you a hundreds of texts, checking up on where you are, who you are with etc. Then you will be finding out she's cheating on you. More than likely this happened with her last relationship.

See ya back here is about 4 months.

[smackie9]

Her numbers are something you shouldn't be concerned about, it's her behavior getting those numbers....

[scotty17]

I really hope your interpretation is wrong smackie, as I truly love her and I know she feels the same. I know this eternal love shit looks pathetic and completely unbelievable. In fact, I never thought for a sec that I could say that before I met her. But she made me change.

[Starnique]

Her numbers are something you shouldn't be concerned about, it's her behavior getting those numbers....

The way she ~was~ getting her numbers is easy and shady. How was she prior to the break up with her cheating ex? Some chics do identify love and emotions or attachments thru sex for attention. The only thing is to make sure she isn't in the rebound and the moment you and her have an issue, how is she gonna act? Time will only tell. You both were easy with one another. You both have attention issues and if you put your insecurities aside you might accomplish something.

[kbee]

You might want to go get STD testing. Just saying.

[smackie9]

I really hope your interpretation is wrong smackie, as I truly love her and I know she feels the same. I know this eternal love shit looks pathetic and completely unbelievable. In fact, I never thought for a sec that I could say that before I met her. But she made me change.

You are in, what they call the honeymoon phase of a relationship. This is the obsessive period, where you are in love with the way you feel, and not really in love. It's so intoxicating, there is always talk of marriage, being together forever, never felt this way before, naming your babies you are going to have, there will be no other love blah blah blah. It's common knowledge, everyone goes through it. It's best to understand what it is you are going through and don't take how you feel, or what you talk about seriously.....these feeling will die off eventually....usually between 3 months to about a year.

[smackie9]

So that being said.....dude this love stuff is all talk, and shouldn't be taken as promises......things will change.

[michelle23]

I agree with Smackie. It is way too soon. Normal people do not move this fast. Its insane. She will soon turn into your worst nightmare. This is the honeymoon phase-every couple things they are perfect for each other and soul mates and they will live happily ever after in the first 3 months. Infatuation has a weird affect on your brain. But most relationships end within the first year or two due to incompatibility issues so it is really stupid to move in together and start planning a wedding or babies while you are infatuated. You don't even know each other yet. Once the infatuation fades, the cracks will appear and you will stop looking at her through rose tinted spectacles and realize she is not perfect (shock horror) then you go through a power struggle stage as well as other stages and if you are bad for each other-you break up, good for each other-you will survive a few rough patches and stay together..

Five wouldn't bother me if they were not strangers.. But I wouldn't trust someone who is willing to f**k someone they just met in a car park.. Not gf/bf material IMO

[dickriculous]

I really hope your interpretation is wrong smackie, as I truly love her and I know she feels the same. I know this eternal love shit looks pathetic and completely unbelievable. In fact, I never thought for a sec that I could say that before I met her. But she made me change.

She didn't make you change, she made your brain produce a bunch of crazy primitive monkey hormones that have made you temporarily lose touch with reality.

Like everyone else said, the number shouldn't even be a concern, especially since it's only 5 (well....if it's only 5). It's the way she got them. She's jumping into bed with guys and hoping to be loved for it, she is literally using her pussy as a unit of exchange for affection, aka being a prostitute. I feel like this is one of those "no shit sherlock" statements but just incase you don't already know, you're not supposed to fall in love with prostitutes. You pay them whatever their unit of payment is, go balls deep inside them, and then you both go on about your business.