Why did she do this to me?

[DownNtOut]

we split up 11 months back,had been together for a year.
we met up at least once a month since the break up to go cinema,theatre and for coffees. we chatted about how our work was goin etc. we wud only meet up by ourselves.

i poured my heart out to my exgirlfriend last week. I told her i loved her and only wanted to be with her. She began to cry and told me another ex (from 4 years back) was looking to be with her again. She told me she needed time to think as she wasnt ready. i said that was ok that if i didnt hear from her, that i wud know.
she apoligised for sleeping with me 3 weeks ago.
(It felt to me like it wasnt a '****' it was tender. she stayed in bed with me till lunchtime, holding each other and kissing) It really mixed me up.


She text me 2 days after i spilled my guts to her. and said she had gone to dinner with the other ex again and decided to try going out with him for a month to see how it goes.

she said she didnt want to leave me hanging on. told me i was brave to drive to her town and put myself out there. she said she loved me but only in a 'friendship' 'companionship' way.


i text her back and said, 'id miss her. and to take care of herself.'

i unfriended her on fb and deleted her number.


were her tears just pity?

any comments appreciated

i dont understand.. such a mess ughhh

[Stickleback]

She's just not interested in you romantically.

Chalk it up as good life experience and move on. You do no good continuing to try to return to the same well for a drink when the well has long dried up.

[anonymous_a]

She's using as an emotional back burner. She doesn't want to be you. Move on before you get even more hurt.

[uniquark]

She doesn't love you but she doesn't really want to let you go. I am pretty sure that it is same with the old boyfriend. Man, 4 years has passed but the poor guy is still attached to her. I think he is more to be pitied. I am also pretty sure that she have met the guy while dating you.
"we met up at least once a month since the break up to go cinema,theatre and for coffees. we chatted about how our work was goin etc. we wud only meet up by ourselves." this sentence might be the same for him.

4 years later, it could be the same situation if you don't decide now.

My advice: Let her go. Don't meet. Don't contact. DO NOT KEEP HOPE. I know it is difficult but you have to do if you want to be happy. You can't completely get over her if you meet her monthly. Decide and be strong. You will forget her. And someday you will find the one.

She doesn't love you: She told you.+She wants to try going out with another guy.
The tears were probably just guilty tears. Nothing more.

[Frog Princess]

Another forum that I've been on referred to this as G.I.G.S. - grass is greener syndrome. Your ex-girlfriend thinks that her other ex will give her more than what she had with you so she's hopping to what she perceives as the "greener side". Stringing you along as a back up was a crappy move to give her some security. A lot of people do this hell, I've even done it in the past (not anymore).

It's going to hurt for a while. The best thing for you to do is find productive ways to spend your time. Do you have a hobby? If not, is there something that you've wanted to try? My ex and I broke up about eight months ago. I started a blog to pass the time. Suddenly, writing became my escape. I still think of him, but a lot less than I used to. Writing gives me something to look forward to. Yours could be sports, volunteering, school...anything really. Eventually you will go days without thinking of her.

As for your ex, she will probably come back at some point. When you least expect it though. But I wouldn't wait around if I were you.

I hope everything works out for you :-).

[basilandthyme]

Why did she do WHAT to you? I'm not seeing that she led you on. Yes, she had sex with you....but having sex doesn't necessarily mean interest in a relationship.