Slept with Ex and then he disappears... WHY?

[secretcharm]

Hello friends,

I recently broke up with my ex boyfriend number 2 because I've been thinking about my ex boyfriend number 1 a lot lately. So I started flirting with my ex boyfriend number 1 and then we started talking about having sex with each other. Then we did it when he came over to my place. I was wanting something more than just sex. I wanted him to be my boyfriend but I knew that he didn't and I was okay with us just being friends. After we did it, I texted him and he didn't get back to me in two weeks. I then facebooked him and asked if he was mad at me because he did not text me for two weeks and we like used to text each other like everyday. He finally replied back to me and he said that he felt bad after we did it and that he doesn't have time to think about these things. I felt bad that he felt bad so I offered to help like listen if he wanted to talk about it but he did not want to talk about it. Then he sent me a msg on facebook saying not to worry about it and that his brain filters out irrelevant details in his life and that we could still be friends and he'll talk to me when he's ready. I was so sad and anger when I read this message. I feel like he doesn't care about me and he sees me as irrelevant. I honestly still wanna be friends with him. I think I still love him but I feel like I just lost a friend. Please help!

[basilandthyme]

secretcharm, he's your EX. You're exactly right when you suspect that he no longer cares about you and that you are now irrelevant. Not that there's anything wrong with how he feels...it's how most of us view exes. He's moved on - just as he should have.

If there's something to learn from this, it's don't offer no-strings sex if you want something more. Also, if the relationship had potential - he wouldn't be your ex.

[michelle23]

You knew before you slept with him that he didn't want more. Lesson: don't use your body as a way to try and get a bf. Don't bother trying to be friends with him. Move on and learn from this

[Jffs24]

He felt you wanted more, bet you did or said something to show him after you ****ed and then he took space right after. He was worried you'd cling after sex. So don't cling and maybe maybe -- maybe you might be able to be friends, but friends don't **** each other, and since you did you'll never be as close. Risk you decided to take, and it didn't pay off for ya.

[smackie9]

Having sex doesn't mean he is obligated to you in any way. Give your head a shake. That isn't how you ask someone to have a relationship again with you. Keep your muffin off limits until they commit to what you want next time.

[smackie9]

BTW if you offer sex to a guy, they are going to take it.

[secretcharm]

Thank you for all the replies. I think you guys are right. I need to move on from this. But it's so hard. I can't stop thinking about him. He led me to believe that we still had a chance together by saying he thought about us moving into a house together. I actually believed him. I feel so stupid and worthless now.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Oh please, he didn't lead you to believe anything. You called him up, acted all flirty, said you want to ****, and he did it.

I'll give you stupid, but you're clearly worth an occasional ****

[ojejones]

I am sorry to say an ex is an ex for a reason. If he slept with you, it sounds like it was to know he has won. And after reading this post, unfortunately I think he has.

[Tug]

What you did was right, you dumped number b/f 1 for number 2 but number 2 only wanted to have sex. Its easy to say when your emotions arent involved but learn from this, let it go and move on

[anonymous_a]

He disappeared because he just wanted to sleep with you. I'd say that's pretty obvious. You said yourself you knew he didn't want a relationship, but you let yourself get sucked into the trap anyways. If you're feeling hurt, it's kind of your own fault.

[anonymous_a]

Plus at least now you know that you didn't really care for ex number all that much, if you were willing to break up with him that easy. Move on, be single for a while, enjoy yourself.

[4 ratties]

U guys only talked about sex, not getting back together. And so u had sex. Which was a bad mistake on your part if u haven't figured that out yet. Your making yourself look easy and desperate now. All upset and pissed because he's not talking to you all the time. He has been very upfront with u and tellin u what's up. U have unresolved feelings so your blowing this out of proportion.. Quit talking to him. Ad get over him. He's made it clear he doesn't want to be together and being "friends" clearly isn't going to work because u are too emotional about him. It sucks bein ignored for 2 weeks I get that, but he didnt lead u on for having sex with u. U asked for and wanted the sex.

[Ginger2013]

I feel like he doesn't care about me and he sees me as irrelevant.

Your feelings are correct. Forget friendship with him, I think you just want a reason to be in his life because you are in love with him. An ex is an ex for good reason. Find another friend, or better, date more guys and forget about him.