Date has me down.

[jcm]

So I met a woman at work, and we planned to meet up on Saturday, tonight, it's 410AM and I'm just curious what people have to say about my ordeal.

So the date started out ok, we met up, I took her out to a restaurant, that was chill. We pre-gamed it and went to a bar prior, then after we went to her place and she got ready for the night as she was going to spend it with a co-worker in which it was the co-worker's 21st birthday. She simply invited me to tag along. So I did.

This is where the night started to go sour and literally f**ked up my night. As we were entering the club, I put my arm around her back and asked her what would you like to drink. She stated, "Oh we're going out to smoke a cig", so we relocate to the main bar next to the patio and out of the blue she says this shit:

"I just wanted to say that we are not together, so don't be acting like we are touching me."

I did the proper thing and apologized and went on with the night.

I didn't show any affection towards her nor really even pay attention other than simply being nice when she was talking to me. It was indeed the deal breaker in which I'll never see this chic again. But I work with her, and occasionally see her on break, so I'll continue to play it cool. But just 20 minutes ago, I wrote this text:

"Hey, I'm sorry I touched you in a way that made you feel as if I was claiming you as my girl. I know you are not my girl and I simply meant no disrespect. I just wanted to put that out there."

Man, work is going to be weird if I see her again. Obviously she doesn't give a shit otherwise she'd have some kind of mental filter before talking shit and f**king up my night. I just felt pathetic, and I couldn't leave because the co-worker was the ride to the club and I had left my car in her apartment complex.

I mean, did I mess up? Did I do anything wrong? She was up on me in my car when we went out prior and when we did a walk, she was up on me as well, hugging me, and even kissed me first at her place. Is this chic toxic? Perhaps some emotional baggage I should not deal with?

Hit me up guys, let me know what's real.

[IslandScorp]

It doesn't sound at all like you did anything wrong. If she was coming on to you when you're alone with her and then said something like that to you when you're entering a club where she obviously wants to look unattached to the other guys there, then I'd say yes, she's toxic and a tease. I'd just drop it and her if I were you. You apologized and you should just leave it like that. If she starts playing her game again and starts acting all flirty with you, I'd just be civil but keep your distance. (This is why I'm not in favor of dating anyone you have to work with.)

[michelle23]

Forget her. She sounds like a nutcase. What she said was v b**chy and uncalled for. I assume you just put your hand on her back? People who are not my bf have done that loads of times and i wouldnt take offence. Just be polite if you see her at work but dont ask her out again. It does sound like shes playing games and giving mixed signals

[michelle23]

Also stop dating co-workers you big idiot!

[Millie]

Sounds to me like she only wants your attention when she deems it appropriate... so while I'd stop short of labelling her 'toxic', she doesn't sound like she's dating material, or anything even remotely close to it. Going by what you wrote here no you didn't do anything wrong, and really I don't think it's you who should be feeling weird or awkward, but if I were you I'd probably be a bit careful about how much time I spent around her, partly because she sounds like an idiot and partly because if she's so quick to over-react to nothing much that way chances are she's also the type to misrepresent things to others for attention... which is pretty much the last thing you need at work.

[smackie9]

Actually this was a good thing. This shows you that when she is out with friends and in a club, she poses as single and available...I'm sure she does the same thing when she is in a relationship so my dear you dodged a bullet.

The only thing you did wrong was apologize to this inconsiderate bitch....don't do that ever again.

Oh and like Michelle said DO NOT DATE COWORKERS!

[jcm]

Thanks everyone for responding to my post! Yes, indeed, I am an idiot for dating a co-worker as I came into this job (New Job mind you) putting rules upon myself, and one of them was to never date a co-worker. But this woman asked for my number, I didn't ask at all, and this was during a 15 minute break. So yes, I was an idiot. If you read the text in my original post in which I apologized to her, she replied back to me, and I have not responded. This is what she has been texting me:

L: No its okay n I understand you didn't realize you were doing since we had gotten to my crib. It's just I am so not affectionate and kinda closed off from my emo 8:55 AM
L: tions at this point. Its really my fault 8:55 AM
L: You rocked n we had so much fun!!! It's just if I don't say something it can't be fixed or dealt with ya know. 8:57 AM
L: So do you work today? 9:21 AM
L: Omg I had so much fun yesterday with u 1:08 PM
Lauren: Are you mad at me n that's why you ignoring me 3:04 PM

Should I ignore her? How should I proceed?

[Valixy]

She was a bit disagreeable, I get that, but you shouldn't post her picture on a public forum without her consent. It seems to me that you do indeed take too many liberties with women. Not nice at all.

[michelle23]

Just text her and say "id rather us keep our relationship professional-i think seeing a co-worker is a bad idea and im looking for something more serious anyway where i can be affectionate in public but thanks, it was fun while it lasted, see you around".

And leave it at that. If she tries to convince you to see her again just say no thanks, , its a bad idea. Id rather not go out with a colleague but ill see you around work.

[jcm]

Just text her and say "id rather us keep our relationship professional-i think seeing a co-worker is a bad idea and im looking for something more serious anyway where i can be affectionate in public but thanks, it was fun while it lasted, see you around".

And leave it at that. If she tries to convince you to see her again just say no thanks, , its a bad idea. Id rather not go out with a colleague but ill see you around work.

Agree with this, it's probably the most polite course of action.

[jcm]

I finalized it. Now, again, anyone seeing this post, don't date someone at work.

L: Wow okay so I was very up front with you about how I felt n now your pissed at me. I thought you were way cooler than that 7:58 PM
Me: Hey L, chill girl lol, I just haven't been on my computer all day, busy day. I just got home. How's your day going? How was work? 8:44 PM
L: Omg I am so Cray Cray! 8:49 PM
Me: I understand, but no need to be rude to me and assume I'm doing this because I'm not doing that, etc. We'll get that out there now. I'll respect you 100% from now on, and I expect the same. 8:54 PM
Me: So my bad for getting up on you at your crib, because I got mixed signals from you, as you kissed me at the place so I was trying to show affection that I dig you and enjoy you on a physical level. I felt that was a bit rude to say that to me at the club considering I just put my arm around your back to ask you for a drink. It was by all means no intention to show that you were mine at the club. 9:00 PM
Me: Frankly, I don't think I did anything wrong, and you blew it out of proportion. But I'm nice guy, considerably, and I apologized for YOU calling me out. I'd rather keep our relationship professional. I think seeing a co-worker is a bad idea and I'm looking for something more serious anyway where I can be affectionate in public because honestly, up until that comment, I was having a good night. 9:05 PM

[smackie9]

I hope it goes well for you.

[Exeter19]

she didn't want the other guys at the club to think she wasn't available that was why she bitched you out about touching her and arm around her, sounds like a bitch, i bet you can do better, she isn't into you.
stop apologizing to her, did she say sorry back to you for hurting your feelings, think about that.

also, don't text her anymore, no contact until she admits she was being a bitch about it and stops putting it all on you. do your work and ignore her if possible.

[michelle23]

okay great well done for standing up for yourself OP. These b**ches need to be knocked down a peg or two. Find a nicer lady who he is proud to walk into a club holding your hand

Good luck

The fact that she said "I thought you were way cooler than that" tells me she is a manipulate b**tch and probably emotionally abusive. You had a lucky escape

[pcmaster]

Well done for talking in monologue even if she didnt respond or read you showed how cool you are lol.