Broke my heart on her - friendship gone mad - what to (not) do now?

[toknow]

If you want her, you can have her. The question is, is she worth all the pain and time you will go through.

[pcmaster]

Toknow can you explain how you can get back girl with who you never slept when had a chance, who have a BF now whos banging her and she friendzoned you?

[toknow]

Well, pc your argument is completely bogus, so there is nothing to explain.

[pcmaster]

Okay I dont wana get you started again.

[Over The Fence]

Well, pc your argument is completely bogus, so there is nothing to explain.

It is quite clear you never read the opening post toknow, but please don't get defensive when another member asks you to justify your explanation. pcmaster has a valid question and valid point, whereas your response is to simply dodge the question and insult instead.

[Laikas]

I surely could try. But therefore, I'd have to change a lot. Walking around lately brought free air in my brains for thoughts.
I could try to 'stay' with her, meaning that I won't break up contact at all while handling my pain and emotions, learning to let her live her life though it would hurt a lot. In this case I clearly need to get my shit together, becoming someone while still being focused on her but not dependent. Sounds like some demigod project.

I also could try to avoid her the next few days, weeks, months to regenerate. In this case however, it could be that she loses all connection/desire for connection with me, so that in the end I'd stand there with an senseless aim and no point to begin.

Last option I see is to never contact her again, trying to live my own life and expand in other directions. But that's what I want the least, my emotions for her are too strong, and I can't hold my hearts longing back.

So it rather looks like option 1 or 2, I think I will try to better my ego while keeping contact. I just have to go back a few steps, and before that, even get back on my legs. Maybe it won't work out, but it feels very wrong to just give up such a thing and run away.

Btw, the guy she was with isn't her boyfriend, they don't even really talk with each other. She loves no one, which is why she was looking for 'something' to see what happens. In the end, she is still alone/free.

[pcmaster]

Thats right man she loves no one including you. Shes too expierienced for you and if you get so attracted to her even wthout sex then only one who will suffer is you. Her pussy dont connect with her heart anymore which means she wont fall in love from first fck like you will. You cant save her cause you cant help even yourself.

[toknow]

Laikas, it's up to you what you decide as you are the one who will live with the consequences of it. Listen to advice, but in the end always do what you decide.

The only problem with letting her go is, the what-ifs that will follow if you don't find someone whom you connect with the way you have with her. As I said, you can have her, that's not the problem, the issue is, is it worth it and would you have missed out on someone who actually would have loved you sooner and more.

This seems easy decision to onlookers, but it's a really hard decision to make if you are into her that much and love her.

[pcmaster]

Find a new motivational video just now

[MichaelJ]

Hello

I think the best option is.. Go to the party. Go for some beers, meet some new people. Call friends, talk with them.
I think that these steps will help you !

Michael

[Laikas]

Hmh, thank you. But I am not the type who goes out. I am not a guy who looks for some girls or ****s. I just don't like that. Plus, I don't drink and smoke.
I will visit her next week.

[toknow]

Don't forget yourself in her. You have to realize your worth and really like yourself. Think about the way you experience her - that is beautiful. If you can feel this way for someone, that makes YOU the valuable one in this. Don't forget that.

You have to show her you value and respect yourself.

[pcmaster]

Laikas you actually could spend that money on getting real good girl who would make you forget all the problems in the world with her healing boobs and soothing pussy. Like guy in video said "that feeling of getting your new pussy after a break up feels good man ".

Whether if you realy go visit ex theres no quarantee she sleeps with you and even if she does it would be just more poison cause distance afterwards will kill you. Anyway you are not the same guy she met and it wont be so great like old times cause you have changed. And so did she. Everyone who ever had any expierience in relationship will tell you that long distance alone is enought to not even try. If you w ana waste years and not living even 1% of life you possibly could then go on and keep her in your heart. But you see what happening with you now and its not anything good. Its best to give up on first relationship and once you get over it you realise what a bonehead you were and what a bitch she was. Like I said you dont have anything to compare but there is girls who will treat you ten times better.

[Laikas]

Hmh, maybe. But I for myself and in person find such disgusting, thank you for trying to bring up new ideas though.
I don't think of people as bitches or similar, in general. Everyone has their reasons, she has hers. I just want to be ok with myself again, and I think she is a step on my way - not that I think that this will work out like I could wish, but it seems to have to be done. My experience in relationships is a different then, for like said, I had a nice one over 3 years with a girl abroad, seeing as often as possible. In the end I ended it, stupid in hindsight. However, it showed me what is possible with enough love, strength and persistence.
The more I think about it the clearer it can get. The fact she had sex with some random dude just made me upset because I in general would like to share as much experiences and nice moments with her as possible, also everyday activities, normal stuff (I know, not in range of possibility). The closeness in this case cracked me.
It's good I found this forum and you guys, this really helps me to reflect and put thoughts together, organizing them and realizing their way (as you see my planning and opinions change quite rapidly, still. Was never really different though...). For now, I just want to have normal contact with her again and find something that I could call 'me' and 'life'.