What Should I Do Here To Make This Work Between Us?

[johnthurman123]

So i've been dating this girl for a while now, and all i can say is that we are both deeply in love. She has two beautiful daughters, I didn't meet them for the first few months because she thought that would be the best way. We went out, did loads of things together, our sex life is amazing, we laugh uncontrollably and just have an amazing time always.

As of late since i met her daughters, things took a little turn for the worst. She found herself closing up a bit as she hasn't had a proper relationship until now. Her past major relationship didn't end well either. She was married to him for a few years and they were constantly fighting, at some points even physically.

I am the complete opposite of that and we have never had an argument and we are just constantly nice to each other.

What i don't get now is, is that she wants us to split up because she can't hack me being in her daughters lives, she's too used to it with it just being her and them. Like i said though our relationship was perfect, we have recently split up, so i suggested dating and going with the flow, no relationship no commitment for now.

What i would like to ask you fellow public is the following - Am i ever going to help her get through this? Can i somehow help her get over the commitment issue and me being in her daughters lives?
This is not easy for me at all and we are only going to drift further apart if i don't do something soon.

Please any advice welcome, especially females as you guys should know whats going on more than anyone.

Thank you so so much!

[smackie9]

Their might be some turbulence going on with her ex. He might be none too happy with another guy honing in on his family. So that would be my guess as to why she has backed off, so she doesn't want to cause any trouble with him.

Sorry but you have no place to "help her" change her mind. This is way too personal and she doesn't want you involved. Respect her wishes and back off.

[dem862]

Maybe the daughters didn't like you. Or maybe she felt it was moving too quickly.

[smackie9]

Ya or it confused the girls or it upset them.

[johnthurman123]

The girls loved me, and they felt the need to tell me they did. The problem is with her though, that is the only thing that is stopping her moving forward. I know commitment is difficult for a few people due to past experiences, our relationship as stated earlier was perfect though, she told me herself how much she enjoyed having me around. The problem arose upon meeting her children, shes extremely protective over them and won't even allow her best friend to look after them. Is there anything i can do to move this forward a bit, to show I'm not a threat. She told me she was dreading the day i met the girls when we went on holiday. And now its happened, this arose.

[IslandScorp]

If the daughters liked you, she might have felt a little jealous of you and not wanted them to get close to you. Or she might be worried about what would happen if her daughters got accustomed to you and you ended up leaving them like their father did. Or it could be that her daughters didn't like you, told their father and he's giving her a hard time. Or, sadly, she might be the type of person who actually has gotten used to the kind of dramatic relationship she had with her ex and can't handle a relationship that has no drama. Whatever it is, she's obviously not emotionally ready for what it is you want to offer her and you CAN'T force anyone to change. Lasting change only happens when the person decides to change. You can try just dating and going with the flow if you can handle that and see if she changes her mind, but if it was me in your position, I wouldn't even do that. If she's going to push you aside now because she just wants to keep her family life to mean only her and her daughters, guess what priority you'll have in her life even if you eventually end up together.

[smackie9]

This girl is broken, and the more you try to persued her the more she will resist you. Like I said you need to back off. How long have you been actually dating for?

[Lord Darkshire]

I agree she has to be the one to decide to "changer her mind".

[johnthurman123]

In total, we've been dating about 5-6 months now. I know you're saying the best thing to do is split up with her, but i can't live with myself knowing I've thrown the most perfect relationship I've ever had down the toilet without giving it my all beforehand.