Can my husband and I have the same best friend (female)?

[Free]

She is awesome and started out as my friend I'm not sure if I'm more jealous of my husband being her friend or them always getting flirty and understanding each other and her being the threat..

My hubby states their like brother and sister and you can tell they are a lot alike and I don't understand some of the jokes they tell.. We hang out a lot just the three of us because her hubby is on the road.. She is the first female friend that I've had in a long time.

We went out one night and three people commented to me on their behaviour like isn't that your husband and such so ever since then I've felt jealous that night my hubby also walked to the car with his a around her and didn't come to me till five feet from the car. FYI they were both drunk as crap. I breast feed so I don't drink that much. I told him that sometimes it looks like their the couple..

Also my dad had an affair with a co worker this year and my parents are on the verge of divorce so I don't no if that is impacting how I feel as well.. I've talked to my hubby about how I feel and he was a little upset and said their just friends. I asked him what they talked about when I'm not around and his response was i don't remember and cant I have any private conversations but he does no how I feel now.

I tell her a lot of private stuff and we talk a lot is it possible for her to be that friend to me and my hubby, can I trust her? Not that I don't tell my husband everything I do but sometimes marriages are tough. I'm jealous that my husband may have a better connection with her as well.. I like that all three of us get along I'm just confused on my trust for both of them.. And I don't no why I feel threatened.

Do you think she can be friends with both of us? Do you think I'm crazy and overreacting? Should i talk to her too? What do you think of the situation?

Thanks sorry for the long post!

[Valixy]

It's all about how you feel about this situation and you don't feel comfortable. Since she was your friend first, I think that you should be in control here, don't expres your insecurities to him or to her anymore, just invite her less and less to spend time with you and your husband, maybe only on special occasions and when you're with a group and try to meet her on your own for girls talk only. Maybe she'll have a boyfriend soon and then things will be different - if not, continue with the same policy.

Most women I know like to keep a bit of distance with their friends' husbands and with their husbands' male friends too. It seems the right thing to me.

[Free]

Thanks! Yea me and him should spend more time together I think it will make me feel better. My friend does have a man their actually getting married in a month my husband and her guy went to school together. I do like that their friends and can get along it just seems like they are closer then me an her. We just had a baby so when she would come over I'd be putting the baby to sleep and they would hang out alone and that happend a lot so I understand how a relationship started and it was kind of my fault.

[Valixy]

Yes, meet her less for some time, until you start feeling more comfortable again and whenever you want to also include your husband, invite her future husband too.

[michelle23]

You are not over reacting. They are too close and he should not be this close to ANY other woman. I agree with valixy-stop inviting her to things, keep your distance as much as possible and make excuses if she asks to come round..

Do they text or email? Does he spend time alone with her now? Do they confide in each other about personal matters?

The fact this started right after you had a baby is a big red flag. Is there any issues in your marriage? Are you paying him enough attention? Fitting in intimate time? Make a big effort to make him feel special over the next few weeks and see if that helps. Plan a romantic night and you could buy a game (such as the board game "monogamy" for couples. I have seen v good reviews and heard it really helps bring you closer. I tried to otder it myself but they were out of stock).

This is in no way your fault but your husband IS getting to close to another woman and this IS how affairs start so try to push her out and pull him closer. Keep us updated on your progress and if there is any red flags-such as him texting her, emailing her, wanting to meet her alone or talking about her a lot then tell him you want marriage counselling now.

You have told him how you feel about this and he is YOUR husband and if he doesnt respect your feelings on this and create some distance soon-i would be worried this has already gone too far.