wife losing love for me?

[furby412]

Hello first time ever posting online. Idk if I'm posting in right place so I'm sorry if it's incorrect. My wife and I were very happy we have 18 month old son. Were both great people, nice loving family. We were on top of the world until about two months ago I noticed she was starting to change. My wife used to be very loving, open and showing tons of affection. But now she hardly talks to me. The only time we kiss is if I kiss her. Every time she gets home from work she just seems depressed and just shuts down. We used to have rough passionate sex. Bout now when we do have sex it's like she not there. She hardly looks at me and flinchs when I touch certain parts of her. Last night I tried acting like her and shutting down And the outcome was nobody talked and we fell asleep. She didn't even care that I stopped talking. Idk what to do. I love my wife/ life but I'm started to believe she doesn't care for me anymore. Please if anyone has gone through this I would love to hear your story and the outcome. Thank you

[michelle23]

I don't want to freak you out but is it possible there could be someone else? Does she have a new best male friend at work? Is she spending more time "working late" or texting. emailing at home? Sudden changes in behavior can point straight towards cheating. It could be emotional cheating or physical.

If there are no signs of cheating. She could be depressed or maybe shes angry with you about something. Do you romance her? Take her out? Are you loving and affectionate every day?

I think you need to talk to her and ask her for marriage counselling

[furby412]

I thought she could be cheating but I don't know when she would have the time. I've tried talking to her and she gets angry and says nothing's wrong. I'm a very romantic person. Always giving body rubs, allways letting her know she's beautiful and amazing. Idk

[searock]

Obvious question probably, but have you tried asking her why she's acting like this?

[michelle23]

It may not be physical cheating OP. It could be a new friend in the office who she spends time emailing and meeting for lunch etc. If she is crushing on him or becoming emotionally attached-that is when she would start pushing you away. You would notice changes in behavior likely before it gets to the stage of physical cheating and "working late" etc..

If I was in your shoes and he refused to talk to me and just got angry if I tried to talk to him, I would move out. Just leave and see does that snap her into reality. I would say "until you are ready to talk and fix or marriage, I will be at my mothers"

[furby412]

Yes many times. Which leads to fights. Like we were the perfect couple. No fights no worries just love and happiness. Until two months ago. But when I'm at work(I work mornings,she works night) we text and there's tons of love and etc. But when I'm home she just shuts off. Like literally if I stop talking no one talks. If I stop kissing her there's no kisses. She just sit's there like I'm a roomate. Just completely shut Down.

[searock]

Then tell her "I know you say that nothing's wrong, but you have been acting differently. For example, you barely ever kiss me anymore, you seem distant and treat me coldly in general. Is there something in particular that's bothering you? This situation is making me unhappy. How about we get couple's counseling to try and solve it?"

[furby412]

I have been thinking about taking a break but I'm so in love with her. We're suppose to be getting a new house in November. But I don't want to get the new place if this is how my life's gonna be with her.

[furby412]

Like last night... She gets home about ten. I got our son to bed and cleaned the house so we could have time for cuddles and just to relax. She gets home doesn't seem to care that shes home. I get her to take a shower with me. Still no love. We get out I rub her body with lotion. After that we start making love. And shes just not into it at all. She won't look at me. Won't let me touch certain parts. So I just stop and roll over. She just turned on tv like nothing happened. She didn't ask why I stopped or anything. She didn't care. And we used to a have great passionate sex life. For the rest of the night I made it clear I wasnt happy. I stopped talking and everything....she just played on her phone. She did not care one bit. My heart's breaking... I'm pretty sure my marriage is dieing.

[searock]

Like last night... She gets home about ten. I got our son to bed and cleaned the house so we could have time for cuddles and just to relax. She gets home doesn't seem to care that shes home. I get her to take a shower with me. Still no love. We get out I rub her body with lotion. After that we start making love. And shes just not into it at all. She won't look at me. Won't let me touch certain parts. So I just stop and roll over. She just turned on tv like nothing happened. She didn't ask why I stopped or anything. She didn't care. And we used to a have great passionate sex life. For the rest of the night I made it clear I wasnt happy. I stopped talking and everything....she just played on her phone. She did not care one bit. My heart's breaking... I'm pretty sure my marriage is dieing.

I understand you frustration, but shutting down and not talking is the worst thing you can do. You need to talk about the problem with her. If she refuses to talk about it or even just to acknowledge it, tell her you will not stay in a relationship with her like this. Either she wants to solve the issue as much as you do, or the relationship is over.

[furby412]

I've tried talking. I've left for a night or two....nothing. no reaction at all.

[furby412]

I know it's over...it's just I love her so much. I loved my life my family. So depressing to know that it's gone. I'm still trying to figure out if it was me who caused this.. idk how but maybe it was my fault.

[searock]

I've tried talking. I've left for a night or two....nothing. no reaction at all.

Then tell her "Our relationship is over unless you are willing to do something about it." If she doesn't reply or evades the subject, tell her "It's over then. I'll be moving out on Saturday (or something like that)."

Don't come back. Remain civil for the sake of your child.

[michelle23]

It takes two to make a marriage work OP. If she refuses to talk about this and tell you what is wrong, then there is nothing more you can do. I know its hard and its not easy to throw in the towel and walk away but you may as well be banging your head off a brick wall with the way she is now.

Have you asked her is she cheating on you?

[anonymous_a]

If it's one thing I've learned in the last 6 months, its that you NEED to express yourself!! If you don't, it will build up, and you will end up resenting her. Resentment can cause SO many problems! On that note, is there anything that maybe she's holding in? Any reason why she may be resenting you? Holding on to resentment can cause people to literally, lose physical attraction to their partner. PLEASE DO NOT KEEP THIS IN!! You NEED to talk to her! Get your feelings out there! Before it's too late.