Why don't girls pursue guys?

[vashti]

Who wants a woman who shows no effort when a guy is interested in her?

Apparently, a lot of guys.

[mikedoug]

It is not true that most women don't pursue.

Give me a break lol

[mikedoug]

Apparently, a lot of guys.

They're either desperate or want sex. No respectable man chases a woman who plays hard to get. A respectable man will want a respectable woman and a respectable woman will not play games. She will pursue him just as much as he pursues her. A respectable man will not fall into the trap of chasing if it's only one way - it's just a preview of things to come later in the relationship.

[searock]

Give me a break lol

Delusion it is, I'm not surprised.

[Empty Road]

When a guy pees, he does it standing up. When a girl pees, she does it sitting down. What am I getting at? Guys and girls does thing differently. A guy chases in a more direct manner. A girl chases in a more indirect manner. So it is a misconception that a girl does not chase. They just do it differently, usually by dropping tons of hints and being more available to interact with you.

[danizephyr]

For me, personally, I was brought up in a culture where women who make the first move are looked at as "easy." Thankfully, when I moved to the US, and experienced the rather pleasant "culture shock," this all changed. I'm now back at my home town but I still feel like if I make the first move on a guy, he'll think I'm easy.

Also, fear of rejection and insecurity are also big reasons to not go after what I want. I'm pretty confident but I tend to get a bit awkward when I'm around a guy I really like.

[HDBadger]

*Some* women pursue men, at least here in America. The majority do not, however. I'm not sure how any reasonable human being who has experienced modern dating culture could disagree with that.

There is a double standard, no doubt about it. How many women on here have gone up to a guy, struck up a conversation, and said "here's my phone, why don't you put your number in it and we'll grab sushi later this week?" And then had the guy turn her down? My bet is not many.

Rejection does not mean having guys not compliment you on your dress at the bar. Rejection does not mean having the cute guy at Starbucks not make eye contact with you. These are silly things women say to try to justify that "we experience rejection just as much as guys."

No, you don't. Women don't pursue because they don't have to. Period. Even women who are below average in intelligence, not well-educated, and with few goals in life will constantly have their egos stroked if they look good in heels.

The dating game heavily favors women. If guys just stopped flattering women, putting them on pedestals, and instead treated them like what they are - one of about 7 billion regular old people who are nothing special - the dating game would shift overnight, and women would actually, you know, have to take some initiative.

[searock]

These are silly things women say to try to justify that "we experience rejection just as much as guys."

No, you don't. Women don't pursue because they don't have to. Period.

Not having to pursue doesn't imply not experiencing rejection (nor vice-versa). I once confessed my feelings to a guy and he told me he didn't feel the same... that was rejection, and it hurt. I know a lot of girls who have done the same thing and were rejected. Open your eyes and you will see...

Even women who are below average in intelligence, not well-educated, and with few goals in life will constantly have their egos stroked if they look good in heels.

You do realize that not all women are considered beautiful by most people? Or do they not count as "women"?

[missprisss]

I pursued my boyfriend. I was out with my girls and saw him from across the bar, I thought he was handsome so I walked right up to him and started chatting him up. We exchanged numbers and started hanging out a couple days later. When we hung out, I went in for the first kiss and it continued to progress from there

[searock]

It's no use, no matter how many times we provide examples of girls making the first move, there will always be some guys who don't believe it happens. Just because it's never happened to them, hehe.

[anonymous_a]

It's no use, no matter how many times we provide examples of girls making the first move, there will always be some guys who don't believe it happens. Just because it's never happened to them, hehe.

True story.

I pursued my boyfriend. I was out with my girls and saw him from across the bar, I thought he was handsome so I walked right up to him and started chatting him up. We exchanged numbers and started hanging out a couple days later. When we hung out, I went in for the first kiss and it continued to progress from there

I also pursued my bf. We had known eachother for years prior mind you, but when I knew I was coming to town to visit, I told him, and told him to meet me at the bar I was going to be at. I practically threw myself at him, intending it to only be a one night thing. We spent the next 2 weeks together and I moved back home and we've been together since.

[HDBadger]

Point out one person in this thread that said no woman, ever, in the history of the world, pursued a man.

I, at least, am saying the *majority* of women don't. Which is a fact.

The vast majority of guys, if they wait for women to initiate things, will never get laid and never have a relationship.

[vashti]

The vast majority of guys, if they wait for women to initiate things, will never get laid and never have a relationship.

So what? You can bitch and whine about it forever, but that's just the way it is.

[YoungCosmo]

Soooo yah. Civil rights gained through blood and suffering and death only so that things stay the same..Way to go, society!

[searock]

YC, have you even read the thread? Before civil rights movement, if a woman pursued a guy she would have immediately been labeled as a "slut" or worse. Now it happens every day and nobody even notices. See the MAJOR difference?