Why don't girls pursue guys?

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 05:28 AM

Hypothetical situation

A girl has an opportunity to land her dream job. There's a 10% chance she gets it. There is another company that wants her if she fails to get her dream job, though this job is not as good as the dream job.

A girl has an opportunity to land her dream guy. There's a 10% chance she gets him. There is 1 other guy that wants her if she fails to get her dream guy, though this guy is not as good as the dream guy.

Both opportunities have extremely high risk of failure so:

The girl will pursue the dream job.

But the girl will not pursue her dream guy.

Why?

**basilandthyme** · 23-08-13, 05:39 AM

I'd only bother chasing someone who was showing some interest in me. There's no point in getting fixated on chasing one guy when there are plenty of other terrific fish in the sea.

Also, he can't be a 'dream guy' until I've been dating him long enough to know his positive and negative traits.

**LifeInflux** · 23-08-13, 05:44 AM

Women fear rejection just as much as men do.

Pursuing what you really want is not an easy task. If it was easy, everyone would have everything they want. Jobs are different.. because a dream job can encompass a lot of different companies. People, for the most part, are individuals, so passing up the chance on a "dream guy" could be potentially devastating... but then again, so could going for him and failing. Some women prefer never to try then to try and fail.

**fearoflove** · 23-08-13, 05:57 AM

I did once and it ended badly. Guys get turned off when girls chase them. It is a biological and social thing.

**basilandthyme** · 23-08-13, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by LifeInflux

Women fear rejection just as much as men do.

Pursuing what you really want is not an easy task. If it was easy, everyone would have everything they want. Jobs are different.. because a dream job can encompass a lot of different companies. People, for the most part, are individuals, so passing up the chance on a "dream guy" could be potentially devastating... but then again, so could going for him and failing. Some women prefer never to try then to try and fail.

you make it sound like there's only one great guy out there

**vashti** · 23-08-13, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by fearoflove

Guys get turned off when girls chase them. It is a biological and social thing.

I agree, and the ones who aren't turned off tend to be fairly passive.

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by basilandthyme

There's no point in getting fixated on chasing one guy when there are plenty of other terrific fish in the sea.

You can say the same thing about the dream job. So you're saying you wouldn't pursue the dream job either? Cause there's plenty of other terrific jobs in the sea too.

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by basilandthyme

I'd only bother chasing someone who was showing some interest in me.

Yet you probably expect the guy to chase you when you haven't showed any interest in him....double standard anyone??

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by fearoflove

Guys get turned off when girls chase them.

Less than you think

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by LifeInflux

Women fear rejection just as much as men do.

Bingo, they're just too afraid to admit it

**mikedoug** · 23-08-13, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by LifeInflux

People, for the most part, are individuals, so passing up the chance on a "dream guy" could be potentially devastating... but then again, so could going for him and failing. Some women prefer never to try then to try and fail.

Exactly, if they never try, they at least can say they weren't rejected and this makes them feel better about the situation. They rationalize it and try to convince themselves they did the right thing

**searock** · 23-08-13, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by mikedoug

Bingo, they're just too afraid to admit it

Not really - being rejected sucks whether you're male or female. A girl can be rejected too you know, even if she does no pursuing. For example, by guys who are only interested in sleeping with her and leave her the next morning without ever calling back. There really are countless situations in which even girls who don't pursue guys get rejected and it's no secret that we all hate it (guys and girls alike).

As a girl, I like the "flirting game" to be balanced out... I like it when we both get our turns to pursue, and to be pursued.

**HeartIsAching** · 23-08-13, 08:47 AM

Who says they don't?

**LifeInflux** · 23-08-13, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by basilandthyme

you make it sound like there's only one great guy out there

People are individuals... and you can only see what is in front of you.. not the future. There are plenty of great guys out there... plenty of great women too. When you are fixated on the one you know you don't see the 10 others you haven't met yet.

**HeartIsAching** · 23-08-13, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by mikedoug

Yet you probably expect the guy to chase you when you haven't showed any interest in him....double standard anyone??

You do BnT a disservice.

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