What is a guy to do?

**1reason1love** · 15-07-05, 02:08 PM

Alright so ive been goin out with this girl for like a month "officially" and before that we knew each other for like 2-3weeks. Those 2-3weeks was a time that we actually got to know each other. Before that i knew the girl just because i had a class with her, but it wasnt anything serious. When we started hanging out we had a blast. We talked about everything once things started going. It was a great feeling cuz i could tell her everything and she did the same. After the 2-3weeks i made a move and told her how i felt about her. I felt it was fast but she is a real catch and i didnt want to make her think we are just friends. I wanted more and soon we started going out. Once we did things were a lil bit different for the both of us. I felt as if i had to impress he everytime we were together, and i did alot of BIG things for her. Now that i realize it might have been too much...and i was all about her. Txt messaging her like every hour and wanting to hang out everyday. She was going along too and everything was great til a few days b4 we broke up. Her attitude was different i could sense something was wrong. So i asked her and one nite she told me. She said it was nothing to do with me. Said it seems i like her alot more than she likes me. I thought about it and it might be true but i could never tell. She sayed that she misses the times we talked together and actually got to know each other and told each other everything. Thats b4 we went out. She said she wants to be friends for now..and c how things work out and there is a chance we might have a further relationship. I dont know what to do to succeed with this. I think i might have scared her off by coming on too strong. Ive calmed down and havent really talked to her til yesterday...3 days after breakup. We hung out at friends house..but didnt do too much. Everything seems cool between us and there isnt too much akwardness between our meeting. I really care about her and i dont want to continue my life without her. But is there anything to hope for? help please. thanks!

**Lonesomepoet76** · 15-07-05, 03:06 PM

Txt messaging EVERY hour? Sounds sweet but would probably drive a person crazy after a while. Wanting to hang out EVERY day? While that may be good for some, ive known many a friend that broke up because they were ALWAYS together and had no time for themselves. Can get suffocating after a while. Its not always the quantity that matters, but the quality.

"She said she wants to be friends for now..and c how things work out and there is a chance we might have a further relationship."

I say give it, and her, time, thats all i can say and about all you can do. Be her friend and take it slow.

Tone · 15-07-05, 09:47 PM

Yeah just relax and be cool, go with the flow. You way overdid it.

**TAVS** · 15-07-05, 10:02 PM

Take a step back bro and go with the flow.... Oh, go with the flow has already been said. Oh well. Even if you're with someone, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a life away from them. Besides, you need to build a solid friendship before you can have anything more than that (well at least long term).

**whaywardj** · 15-07-05, 11:14 PM

Ah. NOW you have the opportunity to charm her. Yes. I'd say you came on WAAY to strong, too fast. Kick back. The chase is on! During the chase, you'll have to COMPLETELY set your feelings and desires ASIDE and base ALL your actions and words on her cues. Do or say nothing that puts her off. Do and say everything that causes her to feel COMFORTABLE in your company. The more comfortable she feels around you, the more she'll want your companionship (and, as a side-effect, the more confident you'll appear to be). Don't TRY to entertain her or make her anything. Not even laugh. If she wants entertainment, she'll go to the cinema. YOUR working on being her companion, NOT her clown. Don't go overboard with gifts or other prompts, such as flowers, sentimental cards and what not. Learn her business a little and give such things at only appropriate times (birthday, get well, etc.). Let her do most of the talking. Ask questions about her, her family, work, whatever; anything that causes her to express herself to you. Then LISTEN.

In two words: Seduce her.

**Blink** · 15-07-05, 11:25 PM

i had that situation with my BF when i started goin out with him. When i first met him new there was somethign about him and we really connected and then we kissed and stuff and were wernt technically goin out, then he asked me out, and then a load of stuff happend with my mates and i was very depressed for about a month, and i didnt show it around him tho cos i didnt want him to feel sorry for me, and around this time i started to become confused about wether i really actualy fancied him or not and i decided i wasnt, and it seemed he liked me more then i liked him. once i sed this to him and said i wanted to be mates i cud tell it had really hit him cos i new he really liked me. this made me feel even worse than i actualy did.but i new deep down i did like him but wasnt sire what way. we still kept seein each other but jus not as if we were goin out, jus friends. then about a month after this had been goin on we started to kiss, hold hands etc again and i was happier now. then he asked me out and i sed yes and now 7 months later i couldnt be happer

i guess u jus gotta wait, i mean it took me long enough and i still really regret it and feel really bad, but hey u jus got to get on with life. and remember dnt go lookin 4 love, it will find you as i found out. good luck mate

xxx

**1reason1love** · 16-07-05, 03:55 AM

Originally Posted by Blink

i had that situation with my BF when i started goin out with him. When i first met him new there was somethign about him and we really connected and then we kissed and stuff and were wernt technically goin out, then he asked me out, and then a load of stuff happend with my mates and i was very depressed for about a month, and i didnt show it around him tho cos i didnt want him to feel sorry for me, and around this time i started to become confused about wether i really actualy fancied him or not and i decided i wasnt, and it seemed he liked me more then i liked him. once i sed this to him and said i wanted to be mates i cud tell it had really hit him cos i new he really liked me. this made me feel even worse than i actualy did.but i new deep down i did like him but wasnt sire what way. we still kept seein each other but jus not as if we were goin out, jus friends. then about a month after this had been goin on we started to kiss, hold hands etc again and i was happier now. then he asked me out and i sed yes and now 7 months later i couldnt be happer

i guess u jus gotta wait, i mean it took me long enough and i still really regret it and feel really bad, but hey u jus got to get on with life. and remember dnt go lookin 4 love, it will find you as i found out. good luck mate

xxx

u sound exactly like my ex...really weird but makes me feel better. i cant let go of her and i wont, im going to keep calm for a while. How should i keep contact? Should i try to hang out w/ her soon? or should it rest for a lil bit? Thanks alot every1!

**jay12** · 16-07-05, 04:21 AM

IMHO - men always like women way more at the start. It tends to switch after a while.

Like i always say, dont come on too strong, everyone wants what they cant have and if your offering yourself on a plate, its a put off. Especially in this early stage of a relationship.

Cool off, and maybe itl work out and maybe it wont.

**MrDrum** · 16-07-05, 05:09 AM

Shes just letting you down easy dude. To her... it is just over, plain and simple.

**Blink** · 16-07-05, 05:44 AM

wel is she still in contact with u? if so talk to her, ask her how she feels, if she feels nothing then u gotta move on, sorry to put it like that

hope everything works out for u

keep strong

**1reason1love** · 16-07-05, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by Blink

wel is she still in contact with u? if so talk to her, ask her how she feels, if she feels nothing then u gotta move on, sorry to put it like that

hope everything works out for u

keep strong

She made contact w/ me first. she was wondering how i was doing because she really cares about me and doesnt want to hurt me. i told her that i understand and that i stil got feelings for her and that its going to be hard...but yea i understand the situation. the next day we hung out at a friends house for a lil while...didnt talk AS much but stil did. One thing she said was that, it seemed like i liked her a whole lot, more than she liked me...she said at the breakup, that she cant catch up to me and thats stopping her to go on and it would be best to go back to friends to get to know each other. I guess thats alright but maybe shes just letting me go forever? in a very easy and trying not to hurt me way?

**whaywardj** · 16-07-05, 11:27 AM

STOP EXPECTING HER TO BE AS YOU WANT, AND QUIT HOPING SHE MIGHT!

Sure fire way to lose ANY chance of rekindling a romantic interest. Just enjoy the ride and quit asking yourself (or her) where it's heading.

**1reason1love** · 16-07-05, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by whaywardj

STOP EXPECTING HER TO BE AS YOU WANT, AND QUIT HOPING SHE MIGHT!

Sure fire way to lose ANY chance of rekindling a romantic interest. Just enjoy the ride and quit asking yourself (or her) where it's heading.

dont know what u mean by ride. this experience has changed me and i kno, i feel, well ****...i do0nt care im getting her back...some way....

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