Ex trying to pressure me?

[anonymous95]

Hello! So I have a little bit of a dilemma here. I started dating this guy about a year and a half ago during my junior year of high school. At that time I hadn't had a boyfriend yet so i guess you could say I was pretty desperate to have one. So I started talking to this guy that I'v known since elementary school but was never really close with until junior year. Long story short we ended up dating and things were going well until he started pressuring me to have sex with him. Every time i refused he got more and more annoyed until he finally got fed up and broke up with me. After the breakup I realized that even though i cared about him, I never really loved him, I just loved the thought of having a boyfriend. My family and friends were all pretty happy when we broke up because they never really liked him anyway, so I decided to just go on with my life and havent really thought about him at all until just recently. A few weeks ago, he messaged me and at first it was just friendly conversations trying to catch up. But recently, he told me that he missed doing stuff with me and that he wanted to be sort of like friends with benefits. I knew I shouldve said no, but for some stupid reason i agreed. He started sending me dirty pictures and got angry when i refused to send any back and when i went over to his house he even tried to have sex with me until i pretty much forced him to stop. He then said all these nice things about me and apologized for pressuring me and said that he'd love to have sex with me but he's not going to force me. After that I made up all these excuses as to why we couldnt hang out until yesterday when i had no excuse left and agreed to hang out this friday. I enjoy hanging out with him when hes not pressuring me because hes funny and a real sweat guy. I also dont really mind fooling around with him, I just dont want to go all the way with him because I know if I did, I'd regret it. So this is where I need some advice. What do you guys think i should do?

[basilandthyme]

He'll start pressuring you again when you start to feel more comfortable. It's just a matter of time. He wants to get laid and you're currently his best option.

The thing you need to do is learn how to say "no". And how to block someone who's not good for you. The most important lesson is that you don't need a good reason or excuse to not hang out with someone. "I'm not interested" is the only thing you need to say. If they keep pressuring you to hang out, saying "F*** off" works pretty well too - especially when combined with blocking their number, email and unfriending them on Facebook.

As for right now: if you want to hang out with him, make sure there's no fooling around. Why? Because it will give him the idea that you'll eventually give him more. And the moment he pressures you for ANYTHING, put the paragraph above into action.

[smackie9]

If you don't want to have sex with him then don't go out with him. You should be just dating different guys and not commit to anything. When you fall in love with the right guy, then you will be ready to make that decision.

For now it's not a good idea to commit to a relationship because well lets face it, guys want sex from their GF.

[michelle23]

A lot of guys your age don't pressure girls to have sex. I know because I was in two relationships in high school and both guys respected the fact that I wasn't ready yet and never put pressure on me. Same with my friends. Many of them had bfs for nearly a year before they started sleeping with him. This guy is not the right one for you. You need to move on and block him so he cannot contact you at all.

Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do. You will meet the right guy and you will know when you are ready.

Good luck