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Thread: I'm leaving abusive boyfriend, I need help with some things

  1. #1
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    I'm leaving abusive boyfriend, I need help with some things

    Everything came to a head yesterday when he found out that when I was stressed, I told a few of my close friends our relationship problems and also I didn't tell him I saw my mum accidentally in town a few days ago and spoke to her for a few mins(they hate each other and she did cause a lot of bother between me and my partner at the start of the relationship) so after he found out that I kept that from him, he started accusing me of things like cheating (which I have never done) and saying our relationship is over and he can never trust me again.

    He said he wanted space so I slept in the backroom and we didn't talk all of yesterday and now today he's still saying he is 50-50 on whether he wants the relationship still or not and earlier on we got into an argument and he thumped me on the back, grabbed me by the throat and pushed me. Not gonna lie, this isn't the first time he has physically abused me.

    He said today he was scared he was actually going to kill me. I told him I would leave on Friday when he is at college and he set he would take both sets of keys with him so I couldn't. I am going to get a spare key cut tomorrow in town while he is asleep and hide it.

    My biggest concern is our cats. I bought them and I buy their food and litter etc. We both love the cats very much and they are settled in the flat but I want to take them with me to my mum's but he said if I take them, he will kill me and he knows where my mum stays so I wouldn't be surprised if he at least came to the house. He has no money coming in at the moment, just my JSA so if I left he will not have enough money to feed the cats until he gets his bursary which wont be until the middle of Sept. He wont have enough for rent, food, gas, electric etc.

    I am worried that if I take the cats, he'll phone the police or something and end up getting them back. I don't have any bruises or marks on me from what he did today but he was charged for stabbing his dad a few years ago. He got let off with because his dad admitted he started the fight and they were both drinking.

    Sounds silly but the cats are my main priority. He doesn't seem to care about me leaving but as soon as I say I'll take the cats, he threatens me.

    What can I do?

  2. #2
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    See if you can take the cats to a no-kill animal shelter and get them back later, like maybe in a few weeks.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  3. #3
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    Or a friends house or a kennel till this blows over. Are your cats registered? In your name? This is a relationship forum, not a legal one

    Question: why would you date a man who was arrested for stabbing his father regardless of fault. Please think next time
    Last edited by surfhb2; 29-08-13 at 07:18 AM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DawkinsDaFihsh View Post
    My biggest concern is our cats.
    What can I do?
    Forget about the bloody cats you idiot. Do you think the cats will be upset when your lovely boyfriend is standing over your dead body with a knife in his hand? Are you really that stupid?

  5. #5
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    Buy enough food for the cats for a while, including litter or whatever else they might need and leave. Sort custody of the cats later on when you're safe and enough time has passed.

  6. #6
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    You need to go to the police and get a protection order against this guy so he cant come near you once you leave and if he does he will be arrested. try to gather some evidence. Even record him the next time he threatens you or hurts you. You need to get out asap
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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