How to find the strength to walk away.

[unknowngirl]

How do you find the strength to walk away from something/someone you know you need to?
my heart hurts beyond words. I love the man with all my soul, and have for so long.
But I know he cannot change, and I know his promises will be broken time and time again.
Yet I'm still here. I keep praying for the strength to walk out the door, but every time I try. something is stopping me and I know I need to go.

I need to find the strength, I just don't know how.

[Ginger2013]

Having been there, I would say you just have to do it. It's hard and heart-wrenching, but needs to be done. If you doddle, you'll always find reasons to justify staying. Think of yourself first. I always used to think, if I had a daughter and my bf was treating her the way he treated me, I'd kill him and hate him, so why would I accept the way he treated me? Strength is in you once you make that decision, leave and keep no contact.

[unknowngirl]

Thank you for replying so quickly. I know I need to leave. I completely agree, I think i'm just trying to avoid that heart-wrenching feeling. But I know if I stay it will happen again and again.
It just so hard to walk out, when you have been manipulated for so many years. Breaking the pattern of surrendering is going to take more strength, then I feel I have left.

[VerticalMoon]

Just focus on concrete steps you can to leave. If you're living with him, figure out where you want to move out to and then do it.

If you think he's going to try to manipulate you into staying, then have things already lined up before you tell him what you're doing. Don't give him any room to argue with you about the matter. Simply say you are definitely leaving and then end it at that. Don't even tell him why you're going as he'll just turn it around on you. Then when you're gone cut off all contact completely. Block him on social media sites, don't pick up the phone when he calls, don't let him in the house, etc. Just stay away.

If you're concerned you'll go back due to missing him, write down a list of all the reasons why it would be a bad idea so you can look at it when you start to waver. Also, keep reminding yourself that the pain is only temporary. The sooner you break-up and the less contact you have with him, the sooner you'll get through this.

But just try to take it one step at a time. Focus on doing what needs to be done right then. Don't let the enormity of it all overwhelm you. Good luck!