My bf cheated and I dumped him on his birthday

[VincenzoG91]

Living well is the best revenge.

[searock]

There's no double standard. If you're drunk and hooking up with the first person that talks to you every Friday night, that behavior is "slutty," no matter if you're a man or a woman.

In a perfect world, everyone would think like you (and me, I agree with the above). However, sadly, what most people think when they come across a guy that sleeps around a lot is "wow, he's cool" and what they think when they come across a girl that does the same thing is "wow, she's slutty". I'm sorry, but it's simply what happens. So yes, there is a double standard.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Searock, I think you watch too much tv. How often in real life do you hear someone compliment someone on how much ass they get?

[horndog]

Just my humble opinion. He cheated, that was wrong. You spent 4 months being vengeful and plotting your childish revenge rather than being the better person and walking away. To me anyway, based on your childish ways, it sounds like he will probably look back to this birthday as the one where he got the best gift ever- you dumping him before he wasted any more of his life with you.

[Wakeup]

To me it looks like he will probably look back on his birthday and say how come karma keeps ****ing with me?
All that's left now is for him to feel the pain of someone cheating on him and he's have repaid.

[michelle23]

In a perfect world, everyone would think like you (and me, I agree with the above). However, sadly, what most people think when they come across a guy that sleeps around a lot is "wow, he's cool" and what they think when they come across a girl that does the same thing is "wow, she's slutty". I'm sorry, but it's simply what happens. So yes, there is a double standard.

lol ive never heard anyone say that about a player. they usually get laughed at or called secretly gay or people shake their heads and called sleaze bags. where i come from, men dont respect men like that-they actually dont trust them and keep their own gfs as far away from them as they can.

i know one guy who brags about his conquests all the time (even though ive never seen him with a girl). his excuse for not settling down and having a GF is that hes "too fussy". all his friends call him gay behind his back

[basilandthyme]

lol ive never heard anyone say that about a player. they usually get laughed at or called secretly gay or people shake their heads and called sleaze bags. where i come from, men dont respect men like that-they actually dont trust them and keep their own gfs as far away from them as they can.

i know one guy who brags about his conquests all the time (even though ive never seen him with a girl). his excuse for not settling down and having a GF is that hes "too fussy". all his friends call him gay behind his back

I have to agree with Michelle. Perhaps it's a cultural thing? Guys who sleep around get little respect from other men or women here.

[searock]

Searock, I think you watch too much tv. How often in real life do you hear someone compliment someone on how much ass they get?

Every day or almost every day.

I guess it is a cultural thing then. However, I do think a lot of people everywhere in western societies admire players. I mean, there would be no such thing as "PUA artistry" and all that crap, if not for a large amount of people who think it's cool and admirable to be like that.

[basilandthyme]

Every day or almost every day.

I guess it is a cultural thing then.

Wow, you hear it that frequently? I don't think I've heard such talk since I was in high school, 30 years ago.

[searock]

Yeah... unfortunately in my country a LOT of guys are "macho" types and see women as objects. The media portrays women as objects to be judged as cattle by men and used by men. Maybe that's why some people here see my views on sexism to be a bit exaggerated... it's actually that bad where I live. Oh well - at least there is hope :-).

[unknowngirl]

Though I don't regret what I did nor hurting him that way, do you think it was still wrong? Or was it fully deserved?

I get the sense there is a part of you that thinks it was wrong.

Being cheated on is one of the most gut wrenching feelings, it takes a complete stab at your sense of self-worth and confidence. I wont lie, revenge has been a great temptation of mine. but on the other hand, it takes so much more energy and time. He didn't deserve 4 more months.

I hope it gave you closure, but I have a niggling feeling not as much as you had hoped for.

Nonetheless you better off without him.

[TablesandChairs]

I don't know anyone who thinks a slutty man is admirable; if anything, they run in the opposite direction if they find out a potential interest has a reputation of sleeping around. It shows they're easy and not good relationship material. Maybe his buddies might think it's 'cool' but unless he's dating his male friends, it doesn't matter.

[searock]

Maybe his buddies might think it's 'cool' but unless he's dating his male friends, it doesn't matter.

It does matter in the sense that everyone (both male and female) thinks women who sleep around a lot are despicable, whereas only some women and some men think that men who sleep around a lot are, and some other men actually admire those guys and want to be like them. Socially, it's much more acceptable to be a "player" than to be a "slut".

[Coddy555]

My bf of 3 years cheated about 4 months ago. The only reason I took him back was to dump him in one of the worst way possible, which I did. His b-day was last week and not only did I stood him up but I broke it off both by email and over the phone.

During those 4 months that I supposedly was working it out, he was trying to gain back my trust while and went all his way to paying on every single date. I used him all that time. Then I had in mind breaking up on his birthday. I've just also ripped all the pictures I appear with him.

Though I don't regret what I did nor hurting him that way, do you think it was still wrong? Or was it fully deserved? I really thought it was funny, hearing him getting hurt about it and saying why, etc. I hang up the phone at him right in the middle of the sentence and ended with an ''Happy birthday loser'' and started laughing.

Congratulations, you're a certified B.I.T.C.H. now no offence intended

This is a bit too much... I mean what exactly did you gain from doing all this.. Well you did use him a lot.