How Important to a Man is Having your Life/Finances in Order When it Comes to Dating?

[smackie9]

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[Kromat83]

If you got no money but you are well educated and have great potential to succeed with a great personality, not having much money doesn't deter you from attracting a quality woman. But if you are total loser, it would create problems because women isn't attracted to that kind of men. And without some money (not talking about being very wealthy), it is difficult to come up with things to do as you progress into the relationship since many dating activities cost money. But as I say, if you got a great personality (never a boring moment) and creative with your dating plans, you can show her a good time without spending money.

It's not about having a great personality, most can have that, and your talking about mainly in terms of dating, but she's referring to her guy friend avoiding dating, so he can focus on himself and then make something into long term, and not casual get togethers.

There are some guys that actually want to think to the future, " what if i find the right person, will i be ready to progress ? "

It's better to not let your emotions get in the way of success, as having a girlfriend, is kind of a distraction,
because she needs attention too, and what will it look like if you constantly say to her that you need to focus
on your career, and she's neglected, you need to balance them both, and if you know it'll take longer than
expected with no set date in mind, why bother starting something, if the happiness is only short-term.

Opportunities will happen everywhere, and you don't go searching or let someone get heavily
involved in your life until your ready, it'll be easier for when you finally decide to go for it.

I have money to spend on activities, but it'll mostly be with my friends, since i can take a
break whenever i want with them, and we can do something another time, and they'll
understand, since i'm there to communicate with them when i'm available, but i'm not
their priority, and we talk about our experiences in life, when we meet in person again
and help each other out whenever it's the right time.

There are certain places i go to socialize, where i could find possibilities of a female companion, or
mainly a female friend, but if i go dancing, that is solely what i want to go for, and not have many
female friends unless i see them more often in various social places, so that i don't grow feelings for
them as it might happen, the more time you spend with them, so how you act around them, determines
what they think of you, as you need to respect their boundaries.

If i am searching for a dance partner, that is solely i am looking for, if there is any chemistry when we are
together on the dance floor, how well we communicate, are we willing to give that individual a chance,
the amount of time we can practice, distance to travel, all of these play a factor.

P.S. some of my activities and time spent with friends, needs to be limited, as i have my school to take care of,
which requires my attention at the moment, because if i'm happy after this is done, then my friends will see
that i am proud of what i have accomplished, and we'll be able to spend more time together.

Sacrifices need to be made in life, and women need to understand that.

[surfhb2]

Well if the guy puts his dating life on hold for years then that's an issues but if youre unemployed or deep in debt there's nothing wrong with taking a time out

Id imagine the guy is older and Dating is expensive....it just is. Spending $20 on a picnic at the park or a day at the beach with ice cream cones and a Ferris wheel ride will only last so long when your older

Once you hit late 20s, 30s and 40s you better have your shit together or you won't be with many quality girls

[namemyname]

I think thats stupid to refuse dating if you are broke. Its just dating after all not marrying or something. The best things are free, the love is free. How much that it cost to tell a woman that shes beautiful? Do you must have X amound of money to have girlfriend? What if girl dont care how much money you got, but she just dont wana be alone?

But, that's not dating. That's sitting on a woman's couch all night.

I get where he's coming from, but like I told him, the right woman won't care about a fancy date, and that he doesn't have to spend a wad on her. I agree there are cheaper date options, but some guys really take the whole courtship thing seriously.

[Coddy555]

Yes, I think its also like another poster said. If he were playing around, he likely wouldn't care. But, if he were interested in an emotional connection or something serious, he might sit out the dance.



It's partially a generational thing, but also the economy in the US is pure shit. Most jobs you can find now are part-time, and as a server or bartender. Most of America is struggling right now, or at the least, seen a serious drop in quality of life.

I think that motivation and drive are a good thing, but my personal choice is that I want to be successful for MYSELF. Not to be able to provide for somebody else (than my family). This doesn't mean that I wouldn't give financial help to my future girlfriend, but I would want to see that she's trying and doing her thing too.

[smackie9]

Ya it's a modern age where equal rights for men too should come into play. It should be 50/50 IMO....that's the way it has been for me for the last 23 years and it works. Nothing wrong with traditional roles if both find it acceptable tho.

The economic landscape has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. More and more women have taken on the role as bread winner for the family. I hope guys can learn to put their ego aside and still live their life, and date with small finances....just have to be creative. If a guy made that kind of effort I would most certainly be impressed.