Need advice about a girl

[Styxanty]

My problem is with a girl, we started out just texting. It was always sort of flirty with smiley faces and what not. I wont go into great detail unless you want/need or what's necessary. But we recently met in person, I spent around 7 hours at her house watching movies and drinking beer with her sister and friend. Her body language was extremely positive; we were on a couch for the majority of the time, and she had her knees on the couch (bent towards me). I did find reasons to touch her a few times and she never pulled away.. in fact she probably wouldn't have pulled away if I didn't first. After it got really late (midnight) I could see she was tired so I asked her if she needed me to go, so she could sleep. And she told me she did because she needed to get up early for work. So, I gathered my stuff and to my surprise she came up and hugged me. So all was well until we set up a second date. I told her that my sister wanted to meet her and she responded positive to this. Saying "alrighty, I'm down for whatever " however on the day of the date, I tried texting her if we were still on. I got no reply so I tried calling and got the same no response( we do have a past history of flaking on one another, before we met, but this is AFTER the first time we met, so I presumed it would stop). about an hour before the date was supposed to happen she texted me and said "prob not I have a lot of shit to do before I go to (another state) on friday." I was pretty devastated. I texted back "ok, it's cool, let me know when/if you want to get together next" to which she responded "yeah for sure". But I wasn't satisfied. I felt like everything up to this point was going so well. So, I texted her again " you know, the signals you send are really mixed you know I'm interested in you right? it just seems like sometimes you are really interested and other times you're not.. so it's really confusing me. and don't feel bad if you don't feel the same. It'll get me down for a little, sure. But that's life. I still wanna be friends with you and chill when we can." (up to this point it was a total of 3 texts to which she never responded). then I sent an additional text asking if she'd rather talk about it face to face, and again she ignored me. it's been 3 days since I've heard from her. I'm worried I might've ruined whatever chances I might have had with this girl. I really like her and I don't want to give up. I feel because of her initial signs, maybe she is into me, but wants to take it slower. Am I crazy? should I move on? In order to get out of my depressed state I came up with a plan to not talk to her for a few weeks ( giving her a chance to contact me) and if she doesn't, I thought about approaching her at her job. I know it's not polite, but I feel like I need to be bold and show her I'm serious while also telling her that I'll understand whatever it is she's feeling (whether she wants to take it slow or if she's not interested at all) and maybe see if I can just start from where we've left off. I figured I could bring a gift I got for her, that's about art which she's into, to show I'm not being malicious. I've been so depressed. I really like this girl. Any advice you can give me I will appreciate.
Sorry, I know this is long, but it's impossible to understand without context which is lost without elaboration ;_;
Edit: I'm a 23 year old male if it helps.

[TablesandChairs]

Showing up to her work is creepy; she's giving you all the signs necessary as it is. Do you think she broke her texting finger? No, she knows your number and she's getting your texts. Clearly, she lost interest. Let it be. If she contacts you, fine but if not, the continuing to bombard her with text messages is just going to make her think you're crazy. It would have been polite, of course, for her to explain herself but some people lack the guts.

[Styxanty]

Showing up to her work is creepy; she's giving you all the signs necessary as it is. Do you think she broke her texting finger? No, she knows your number and she's getting your texts. Clearly, she lost interest. Let it be. If she contacts you, fine but if not, the continuing to bombard her with text messages is just going to make her think you're crazy. It would have been polite, of course, for her to explain herself but some people lack the guts.

I agree, it'll probably be discomforting to her, but I owe myself that much. I don't think it's that simple though, I gave her the perfect opportunity to give me a soft landing and she's not the type to be afraid of that. My gut tells me I put her on the spot, and I'm moving too fast for her at the moment and she's not sure how to tell me that without leading me on. Because I think you're right about her losing some interest or maybe not being as interested as I am. I don't plan on being hostile when I confront her though, I figured I'd just ask her if she could talk alone some place and I'd explain why silence isn't a reasonable enough answer. She'll probably get in touch before I go in anyway, so this will all be moot.

[smackie9]

OK whoa, big mistakes all around dude.

#1 you never call out a girl on shit like that...why? because it makes you look like a total tool. Needy, desperate, no confidence, unnecessary aggression. You already made yourself look hostile.

#2 when they you have to call them and they cancel on you, that means "I'm not interested" If she calls you to tell you she can't make it, and sets up another time that means she is truly busy and does have interest.

#3 confronting her? what the hell for? Stop thinking that it will teach her a lesson for duping you. Girls (most not all) do this crap all the time. If you do it you will look like a sore loser and can't handle rejection. The more you push this issue on her, the more she will avoid you.

#4 so what if she gave you a hug. It probably was a pity hug (I'm sure it was) because she knows she has just wasted your time getting you interested in her.

#5 showing up at her work is a douchey desperate creeper move. This will not score you any points ever, but may score you a pounding from her big brother or cousin.

[Styxanty]

Woah what's with the hostility? I didn't do anything wrong to her. I was right for calling her out, for giving me mixed signals. It wasn't a pity hug, if it was she never would've agreed for a second date in such an excited manner. I messed up when I told her I liked her, yes. But I don't think it's un-repairable yet. I've already been talked out of approaching her at work. I've decided to give her a few weeks and then I'll call her and ask her if she wants to meet some place to talk.

[Boisdevie]

Woah what's with the hostility? I didn't do anything wrong to her. I was right for calling her out, for giving me mixed signals.

Sounds like that famous river in Egypt. De Nile.

I think we should ask the OP what kind of reply he'd like us to give him don't you Smackie? Would save a lot of wasted time.

[Styxanty]

Sounds like that famous river in Egypt. De Nile.

I think we should ask the OP what kind of reply he'd like us to give him don't you Smackie? Would save a lot of wasted time.

You know you might be right, I could very well be in denial. But you'll have to forgive me for defending myself, and for being brazen enough to call someone out when they're being rude or disrespectful. I'm not assuming she's into me anymore. In fact, I'd say her interest level has probably dropped close to zero. But, She's had plenty of opportunity to let me down easy by not accepting another date. or even just telling me straight when I asked her. So, yes, I'm interested enough to want to know the truth before I drop everything and walk away entirely. It's also hard to take any reply seriously when it comes in such hostile form. It shows a level of maturity that doesn't have the wisdom worth recognition.

[smackie9]

I'm just putting myself in her shoes....if a guy showed up at my work and started calling me out when I had to cancel a date, would be an instant turn off....now that is being rude and insecure.


Ahhh why bother....she will say anything just to pacify the situation. Best of luck to you Mr. hopeful.

[Styxanty]

I'm just putting myself in her shoes....if a guy showed up at my work and started calling me out when I had to cancel a date, would be an instant turn off....now that is being rude and insecure.


Ahhh why bother....she will say anything just to pacify the situation. Best of luck to you Mr. hopeful.

No, you're right. I'll just let her go. If she was interested she would've responded. or if she is she will contact me. But I still don't understand why you feel the need to protect her. I haven't done anything wrong to her, if anything she's done me wrong.

[surfhb2]

Why do guys feel the need to find a physical answer to a question? She did not respond to you the first time and yet you continued down a dead end road. Why? She owes you nothing, zero, zilch !!!

RULE#1. If you don't receive a reply from a girl, never continue with another call or text

You were doing great until you admitted that you weren't satisfied and continued the creepy BS of meeting and mixed signals or whatever you pulled out of your ass.....that blew you out of the H2O right there brother

Think next time

[Styxanty]

You must have no self esteem if you think it's acceptable to be blown off more than once, within the hour of a planned meeting. I don't know about you, but my time is valuable. I didn't pull it out of my ass either, it's how I felt. If that was enough to scare her off anyway, then she obviously wasn't interested in the first place. Which means everything worked out for the best. I really do hope your self esteem improves though; you have my condolences. Don't put women on a pedastle. Nobody deserves to be treated in such immature ways.

[namemyname]

You messed up when you said your sister wanted to meet her. That conveyed you told your sister about a girl you hadn't even met in real life, AND, that you were already pushing to introduce her to your family. THAT'S why she backed off.

The rest of it just makes you look psycho.

[4 ratties]

She didnt really "lead you on" she hung out with you once and wasnt feeling it. She would've asked to hang out again but she didnt. Sorry she didn't like you. You're being really defensive and hostile about it. Sorry to tell u but chances are, you're going to have quite a few more experiences like this and rejection hurts but it's a part of life, so take it like a man.

[namemyname]

she's done me wrong.

How did she do you wrong?

She wasn't interested, and sent you every signal of that. When you sent the psycho text, there was no way in HELL anyone would respond to that, because it was clear you were over-invested and acting like this was a relationship, and not a first date.

With dating, you really have to have a thicker skin. And, you have to be able to read signs better.

[Styxanty]

How did she do you wrong?

She wasn't interested, and sent you every signal of that. When you sent the psycho text, there was no way in HELL anyone would respond to that, because it was clear you were over-invested and acting like this was a relationship, and not a first date.

With dating, you really have to have a thicker skin. And, you have to be able to read signs better.

Read signs better? The signs were mixed. That was the problem!! she did do me wrong, by continuing to see me/flirt with me and then by not having the guts to tell me the truth. This wasn't the first time she's cancelled on me. and like I've said, in the past I've flaked on her too, but that was before we got this much into it. She stood not only me up, but my sister. If she didn't want to go on the date, she should've said no when I asked her the first time.