Difficult situation needs a resolution

[davidvs]

Hey folks, greetings from Germany I'd like to excuse myself for my bad english. Let me introduce myself. I'm almost 21 years old, born in a poor european country, two years ago i moved to Germany in order to study, I had absolute no idea what to do when it comes to women. I grew up in a family, where the love and the relationship between a man and a woman are totally messed up. I think I haven't seen my father kissing my mother or showing any other kind of love, as a matter of fact my father don't have any reasonable income during my whole childhood and my mother had united the all the roles in a family - raising children, earning money, taking hard decisions and so on. And she's still doing perfect I want to build a healthy family one day.. The last two years were hard for me in my new home. I'm studying something very hard and i'm still in finantional dependence from my mother, with freaks me out. There is a gils from my school , who is also studying in the city i live, she has been showing interest in me since the last days in school and when we came here we use to interact at parties, common friend's birthdays and so on, we use to dance together, she is going in the same gym. Our whole interaction is very slow during this two years.. And for this two long years i haven't kissed her even once - only on the chick or the neck.. girl is very pretty and attracts a lot of males, which she mostly rejects or maybe is dating with. For this two years Ive have seen her making out with two other guys, however i remember every single moment, i had the opportunity to kiss her, or even more.. After coincidental meeting in the gym, she told me about a favorite film we both share and i suggested going to her place to watch it, there was nobody home, it ended with a kiss on the chick from my side and i slept in her kitchen cos there wasn't and public transport.. This was in january.. There were numerous situations like this.. In order to increase my self confidence and persistence i red somewhere that it is a good idea not to masturbate. As you may notice I'm still virgin and i haven't kissed a women in the mouth, well only ones, but it was the girl, who was trying to take advantage of men, cos i was a little bit drunk.. I failed with my plan not to masturbate in april i remember. Since then i'm doing the same and this time i won't fail.. Here the problem - the girl i was talking about was on a vacation in my home country for almost two months. The last time we met i Germany was a disaster for me, cos she didn't come to me like usual, two weeks later i organize a bbq with common friends in order to see her once again before leaving, but she didn't attend. Since a week she is the the city again. I dropped her a message in fb, asking how is she doing on the first day she arrived. She didn't answer.. Since two days I'm feeling some pain in the ball, i suppose what is going to say the doctor, once i visit him :d :x as a meter of fact I'm going to the gym and i catch the women's eyes on the streets, however my brain is blocked and i can't do anything to interact with others.. There are some girls in my friend circle who are showing some interest in my, but not so strong one like the one i had from this girl. I receive some offers form girls in clubs or dating apps, but how am i suppose to lose my virginity with a girl i have seen an hour ago... What should i do?? i'm thinking of this problem every single hour and i have constant lack of concentration, i failed some exams and as a meter of fact im sitting right know in the library.. Trying a study.. There is a beautiful young lady in front of me, who talk to me in the morning, i' freaking out, she's leaving in 15 minutes, so i think i' ll just go with her and kiss her in the elevator without explanation... I beg you for some help and i'll be grad you i can answer all of your questions thanks in advanced

[smackie9]

OK you can keep masturbating....there is no reason why you shouldn't. I don't see any benefit except make you insanely horny and not be able to think straight. Next, stop focusing on losing your virginity. You want sex just go have it and enjoy it. How to get it? Just go and ask a girl out on a date, go out on a date, kiss girl goodnight if she is smiling and touching your arm etc, then ask her out on a second date, and repeat. Third or fourth date, ask her to go to her place to hang out after your date, make uot on the couch, ask her if she wants to take it to the bedroom, slip on a condom and go for it.....wackin off before hand will help you last....


Grabbing a girl in an elevator and trying to make out with her will land you in jail for sexual assault so no not a good idea. Just ask her if she wants to meet up later for a coffee and get to know her.

[davidvs]

Thank you for the quick reply smackie9 I don't think of losing my virginity, actually I'm thinking (or to be accurate overthrowing of) giving it to some person, that is kind of important of me. At Monday me exams are over, so we will celebrate and again there will be a lot of girls in the club, which will come to me for a talk or make excuse to stay around. Like the last times, I suppose I'll act kind of "I don't care".. Well, part of my brain always thinks of this girl, I told you about and block a lot of others. Even worse, sometimes I ignore what other girls are talking to me and I'm kind of blocking the whole conversation. One again, it not about losing, it about giving... I know couple of girls, who are going to come anytime I call, but that's not the point and I think it will be a shame if I do something with them, not thinking of them while making it. I think I'm ready to go to the end once if I'm sure it's a person I know well and keeping in mind, that I spent 2 years getting to know this girl makes me think that I don't know the other women good enough. And to be honest which one will keep the interest in me for so long? Sometimes I wonder, how this girl spent so much time giving me the chance to kiss her and stuff
PS. The elevator was full with witnesses haha and I saw a picture of a girl and a boy on her phone, maybe her boyfriend, but she was talking to me overtime she could, girls with a boyfriend won't act like that, don't you think so? Looking forward to see the girl tomorrow

[smackie9]

There all kinds of girls out there and no they don't act all the same when they have a BF. Some will step over the line and flirt for the attention.


Anyways I know some will say "Good for you waiting for the right person". Me "you should just throw caution into the wind because it's not a big deal".

You have a difficult road to follow because most girls want someone that is experienced.

[davidvs]

Ok, so you suggest i should use my next opportunity, no matter what, no matter if i know the person since an hour or a week. I'm not mentioning longer periods, because i think i blew up the chances with the girls i know longer simply with not answering on their indications of interest hah.. Now I'm thinking that I will regret afterwards and keeping this in my mind is making me unwilling to do whatever should be done or thinking I'm doing sth wrong :x

[smackie9]

I know I will get bashed for it but if there is no ring in that finger she is fair game. Ask her out. If she says she has a BF, move on to the next one....ya got to keep moving, check out as many options as possible.