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Thread: I'm so confused, does my ex-boyfriend still love me & want to be with me? =/

  1. #16
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    I told him that he had mislead me, because he knows how I feel for him.
    Fool you once shame on him.

    He called me crazy and told me to get over myself. He said we could remain friends, but nothing more. Well this week, he has been over twice, and we have made love several more times (he initiated it).
    Fool you twice SHAME ON YOU. You are'nt a victim here, luv. He told you outright that all you were is "friends" and you went ahead and voluteered to be his bedmate anyway. After that convo about you getting over yourself, you volunteered instead of telling him to get TF out of your life for good.

    Is he just messing with me? He's told me that he is still in love with he,
    Wait, What? Didn't he just tell you to get over yourself and that all you were is friends (better title coming from him would have been fb's.)

    Sorry to drone on, but, he really has a grasp on me. He has gotten me so depressed with his actions that once (last year), I attempted to end my life. Stupid, I know. I am just so confused. Any input would be great.
    As soon as you FORGIVE YOURSELF for volunteering to lay with a man after he clearly told you to "get over yourself" then you will find it much easier to get over someone like him. While you're getting over him, reflect on why you would ignore what he said to you, unless it suited what you wanted to hear. If this guy is in the armed forces, he'll **** his way across the war zone. You could NEVER trust him and he should never try to be in a monogamous union.

    A good exercise for you would be to write down all the red flags that you can look back and pin point. That way, in future you'll see a sociopath early on before he dazzles you with his science and YOU can dismiss yourself from the situation before you are addicted to his shit.

    Write your list here if you find it cathartic.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  2. #17
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    To add to the above: I can not stress it enough. As soon as you stop portraying yourself as a victim and then forgive yourself for your own actions (taking him back and fking him when you knew he was in a relationship and not available to be yours) the quicker you will get over this self-centered, self-entitled, ego-maniac.

    Work on you: Your self-worth because it's low if you'd take back someone like him when he's still with the girl he cheated on you with. On your self-respect because its lacking if you let your heart over-rule your head in situations like this. On your common sense so that you listen to it when it is pulling on your gut.

    You'll be fine but you need some solid conviction and love of self so that you can tell him (in your head and mean it) to go fvck himself and the girl he rode in on.

    I'm so confused, does my ex-boyfriend still love me & want to be with me?
    He'll take you (sexually) if you keep letting him but KNOW THIS: When a guy can have all of you and he's only taking one part of you, then NO... he doesn't love you. This douche only cares about one person ~ Himself. He's not worth your pain so don't allow him to make you feel that way anymore. Consider this day one of you having forgiven yourself and on your way to emotional freedom from him. It's hard to overcome the affects of what a sociopath can do to you so if you don't have the personal conviction to get through this alone, then by all means DO get yourself to a councellor to help guide you.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 09-09-13 at 12:02 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #18
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    He just wants what he can't have. If you get back together, he'll be "different" and "changed" for a few months, but it will always go back. Plus, how could you ever trust anything he says?

  4. #19
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    I already know that I have little to no self confidence/self worth. And that's kind of my issue. I guess it's he temporary satisfaction I get from the heat-of-the-moment attention I get from him, but I always like such shit, and so worthless after he leaves and ignores me for days on end. I guess I don't know where to find my confidence... It's lost somewhere and clearly I'm not doing shit to help it.

  5. #20
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    Therapy, Lizz! I'm a big fan, and I think you're pretty in touch with your issues, so go get help. If you don't, you'll end up with the same guy in the same relationship for the rest of your life. And I highly doubt you want that...

  6. #21
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    I would love to go to a few therapy sessions as I'm sure getting the perspective and advice from an unbiased individual would be helpful (hence why I am on this site... Lol). It's just a matter of finding time to work it into my busy work schedule.
    On a side note, I haven't talked to said ex for about 24 hours now. Last thing I said to him was a question in regards to my laptop and getting a new graphics card for it. Typically he will answer any questions I ask him, but he ignored this one and hasn't text me back since. Which leads me to believe he got caught talking to me, or he's just being an ass and ignoring me until he's bored again. Ah well. I'm enjoying my day at work and keeping his stupidity off my mind.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizz View Post
    I already know that I have little to no self confidence/self worth. And that's kind of my issue. I guess it's he temporary satisfaction I get from the heat-of-the-moment attention I get from him, but I always like such shit, and so worthless after he leaves and ignores me for days on end. I guess I don't know where to find my confidence... It's lost somewhere and clearly I'm not doing shit to help it.
    Well, I for one would like to start hearing what you plan on doing to help yourself rather then what he did and what you allowed. What's your next strategy?

    P.S. Quit contacting him in the guise of wanting PC questions answered. Any electronics store or even google can help you with that. So far, you've done nothing to get over this guy. What if he calls you tomorrow (when he's not within earshot/eyeshot of his current girlfriend and can talk/chat freely and likely can get away for another jump) what will you do that will help you to rehab yourself from your drug of choice called "my sociopathic ex." You are now the other woman and if you haven't figured it out yet, you are being ignored today because he is with her. Welcome to your life as it will be if you don't stop what you're doing.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 09-09-13 at 02:12 AM. Reason: added at PS
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizz View Post
    I would love to go to a few therapy sessions as I'm sure getting the perspective and advice from an unbiased individual would be helpful (hence why I am on this site... Lol). It's just a matter of finding time to work it into my busy work schedule.
    On a side note, I haven't talked to said ex for about 24 hours now. Last thing I said to him was a question in regards to my laptop and getting a new graphics card for it. Typically he will answer any questions I ask him, but he ignored this one and hasn't text me back since. Which leads me to believe he got caught talking to me, or he's just being an ass and ignoring me until he's bored again. Ah well. I'm enjoying my day at work and keeping his stupidity off my mind.
    ? How do you not find time to improve your life? Do you workout? Sleep? Mental health is just as important.

    He's not contacting you, because he has no need to. He contacts you when he needs sex, or when his GF is annoying him and he needs to feel better about himself. And, he knows no matter how long he waits, you'll still jump for him. But, it's irrelevant. The guy is a SCUMBAG.

    Spend your energy figuring out why you would even be attracted to someone so ugly, and who treats you so poorly. Who cares what the hell he's doing, because all you need to know, is that he's with another woman. That should be turn-off enough...

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