Couples who disapear

[Specialk]

Anyone got friends who once they get into relationship they completely disapear and you dont here anything from there anymore. You never see them or get to talk to them, annoying isnt it haha

[Hightower]

Yes. I hate it. I have a friend who got divorced a couple of years ago. He did the opposite thing. He was single, did single guy stuff and would date the occasional girl. When he was in a relationship that lasted more than a week he would come around more because all of the sudden he was a "couple" again and did more "couple" things. That's okay to me, because when you are single you have a different lifestyle.

However, I can't stand it when friends vanish into thin air the second they get into a relationship. I never did that, and still don't do that despite being married. Sure there is always time you have to devote to your wife/family and that means the freedom you had as a single guy gets reduced. But that's the key word "reduced". You should still have time to do "guy" stuff again and have friends over, especially if there are other couple friends. Usually in a situation like this it is one person discouraging the other one from going out. The other person falls in line and basically becomes "whipped" and can barely use the bathroom without permission. Yeah, I've seen this type. Don't care for it.

[Specialk]

Its frustrating. Seen it with quite a few friends. I dont know how anyone can ignore there friends once there in relationship, id never do that because you never know when you might need your friends and if you distant yourself from them you may not get them back

[4 ratties]

That's how it was in high school for sure. it would piss me off so much and a couple years after that. But then after they've been together for a couple years, they get a little bored and start reaching out again lol just my experience with them

[Kromat83]

The problem they don't see, is that you can't spend too much time with your girlfriend,
or there wont be that anticipation to see each other again.

Leave it until your married and constantly see each other every day,
but even one day a week with friends helps a lot even when you are.

[TheEvilJester]

To be honest, I think this is a little natural in any relationship. Well, at least one that is going well. I think it is to be expected that a friend in a new relationship may sort of "disappear" for at least a little while. If it becomes a very long while, then I agree it isn't right. But, I think it is a little unfair to be annoyed/hurt/offended by a little bit of a disappearance act when somebody is in a new relationship. After all, shouldn't you want to be around your significant other as much as possible?

So, a little bit of a disappearance, I think, should be expected. But, the truth is, it actually isn't healthy for a relationship to be around JUST each other like that for too long. Eventually, the couple need to learn to balance being together with also having time apart. So, my advice if you are the friend being temporarily left out, would be just be happy for your friend, and understand that they may devote a lot of their time to the relationship for a while. But, be sure to still be there for them, and keep in touch. Before too long, the newness of the relationship should wear off, and they will become social again. ;-) As long as it doesn't become an excessively long wait, why not be happy for them?

(On a semi-related side note: I think one big mistake too many people make in relationships is mistaking the newness wearing off to the relationship fizzling. On the contrary, that can actually make a relationship so much stronger. You've gotten past the "honeymoon phase" and still love each other just as much, and can even spend time apart and still want to be together.)