Quick: help me flirt, please!

[basilandthyme]

I have a referral to an expert, yes. The main thing is comfort in knowing I don't have some anomalous issue and that maybe with treatment and medication, I could get HELP instead of sitting around wondering what the **** is wrong with me.

Yeah, knowing what the problem is would be a great help. It's about finding that there are others like you.

Not sure what type of treatment and medication you're referring to though. Meds can be given in cases where there are behavioural issues, but you've never said anything to suggest that you need meds. Likewise there is no treatment - the only real option for an Aspie is pretending to be normal. Social skill classes and support groups would help in this but don't expect your personality to change with therapy.

I gave you a quiz a while ago and you said that your results didn't come even close to suggesting Aspergers. Why do you now believe that an ASD dx is possible?

[YoungCosmo]

I took that same one recently, when I began to experience a worsening in my condition. The previous time, I might have given answers because I was afraid to possibly be autistic and so answered less consistent with my character.

[basilandthyme]

Yep, faking your answers will do it. So what did you score this time? I did a similar one again recently and got yet another borderline score.

See if you can get your hands on some autobiographies written by those who are on the spectrum. You may find it interesting to see how much or how little you relate to. Of course, you may also have very different experiences...but it's interesting to know what others experience.

Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey
Look me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison
Life Behind Glass by Wendy Lawson

I've read and enjoyed all, but the one by John Robison was a terrific read.

While I was on Amazon, I also saw this book which may interest you: http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Anxiety-Successful-Management/dp/184310895X/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_z I haven't read it, but it gets some really good reviews

Of course, you may not get a dx - but if you do have a number of traits AS, the books could still be useful. Or at least, interesting.

Out of curiosity, do you think in pictures? Like when I say "car" do you simply know what a car is....or do you immediately visualise a car in your mind? I recently discovered that my daughter (not AS but very left brain...good at math, tech, science) thinks in pictures. Apparently she thought that everyone visualises words like this. My son isn't eloquent enough to tell me if he sees in pictures. Despite all my traits, I don't see in pictures...but I find the whole thing fascinating.

[basilandthyme]

I just wanted to clarify about meds. While there are no autism specific meds, there are meds which will deal with certain symptoms of it. For eg; I have been on anti-depressants for years. I started on them for depression when my son was little and found that it changed me so that I feel kinda 'normal'. And as a bonus, my obsessive traits have lessened significantly and I'm far less needy and clingy. For better or worse, the change in me is so significant that hubby couldn't bear the thought of me going off the meds.

And if anxiety is an issue, then there are anxiety meds around.

[YoungCosmo]

AD can work?! I must have had an insufficient dose before.

[basilandthyme]

Or the wrong brand. You may need to work closely with your prescribing doctor to get it right.

[Agnus]

Girl mentions stargazing in her profile. How do I use this to flirt and say she's cute? Something something something about going stargazing with her something something only thing I really want to see is her smile or something something.

Say something like: "When I think of you I see a bright star that draws an astronaut into the depth of infinity." And wait for whatever happens.

[LifeInflux]

Say something like: "When I think of you I see a bright star that draws an astronaut into the depth of infinity." And wait for whatever happens.

While advice is always appreciative, I don't think that would be appropriate necessarily seeing as how he doesn't really know her well, nor is this an instance where we know whether he's seen her visually, or what the nature of her profile actually is. I think that would come off too strongly, and... creepily.

[Agnus]

While advice is always appreciative, I don't think that would be appropriate necessarily seeing as how he doesn't really know her well, nor is this an instance where we know whether he's seen her visually, or what the nature of her profile actually is. I think that would come off too strongly, and... creepily.

That's how it works. If you want to attract a girl's attention you should stimulate her imagination. If you don't know her personally, the images should obviously be impersonal. Actually it doesn't matter what you say. You can say anything. Girls value your attention, not the meaning of your words. OK. Pick out a stargazing picture and describe what you feel when looking at it.

[LifeInflux]

Eh, thats not how it works.... it matters quite a bit what you say to women. In my experience, being practical, observational and humorous goes a lot further than saying nice erroneous things that have little substance. Beautiful women get complimented a hundred times daily, I find that if you're really interested, shameless remarks don't go as far as repartee and genuine questions.

[basilandthyme]

Say something like: "When I think of you I see a bright star that draws an astronaut into the depth of infinity." And wait for whatever happens.

I'm a woman. If a guy said that to me, I'd roll on the floor laughing. And then I'd think he was really weird and probably avoid him.

[Agnus]

I'm a woman. If a guy said that to me, I'd roll on the floor laughing. And then I'd think he was really weird and probably avoid him.

Well, there exists a certain risk when you are building rapport with a stranger. Obviously you are not into stargazing and the subject is unfamiliar to you. So if I said something to you, I would avoid saying smart things. It's like writing a targeted resume. Sometimes it is preferable to display your achievements degenerated to get a positive response, otherwise the employer might be scared that you are smarter than him/herself. Thus it's clear that you can't say the same things to every woman because the one who is solving issues after breaking up with her white-trash ex-boyfriend and unplanned pregnancy has different matters on her mind unlike a female Ph.D from NASA’s Science Mission Directorate. So in your case i would say something like: "Oh babe, you have such an astounding ass. It drives me crazy!". Hope that will work.

[LifeInflux]

Well, there exists a certain risk when you are building rapport with a stranger. Obviously you are not into stargazing and the subject is unfamiliar to you. So if I said something to you, I would avoid saying smart things. It's like writing a targeted resume. Sometimes it is preferable to display your achievements degenerated to get a positive response, otherwise the employer might be scared that you are smarter than him/herself. Thus it's clear that you can't say the same things to every woman because the one who is solving issues after breaking up with her white-trash ex-boyfriend and unplanned pregnancy has different matters on her mind unlike a female Ph.D from NASA’s Science Mission Directorate. So in your case i would say something like: "Oh babe, you have such an astounding ass. It drives me crazy!". Hope that will work.

In both cases it would fail miserably, but, you already know that. The point of any good first contact is to be memorable in a non-threatening way, and honestly, don't be overly complimentary. In most cases, if you're going to comment physical attributes, staying above the neck unless you're targeting their shoes, nails, or body art (tattoos) is really the way to go, and even in those cases, K.I.S.S. - (keep it simple stupid).

Doing that in a way that coincides with your personality is key.

[Agnus]

In both cases it would fail miserably, but, you already know that. The point of any good first contact is to be memorable in a non-threatening way, and honestly, don't be overly complimentary. In most cases, if you're going to comment physical attributes, staying above the neck unless you're targeting their shoes, nails, or body art (tattoos) is really the way to go, and even in those cases, K.I.S.S. - (keep it simple stupid).

Doing that in a way that coincides with your personality is key.

Somehow I disbelieve that. What's your point? I don't deal with homosexuals.

[YoungCosmo]

Is my message idea retarded? She said "The most private thing I'm willing to admit: I like avocados " so I thought up this potentially sorry ass line: "Avocados are great! What do you enjoy them with or on? I remembered how my city had a great hand in So.Cal avocado history so since you like interesting relevant facts, maybe you'll like this one ^_^ :

"The original "Hass" avocado tree in La Habra Heights was planted 1926, and survived until 2002. This variety has become the most popular summer avocado in the world."

Utterly moronic? Decent?