Silent treatment

[Lulu]

My long distance on and off again boyfriend has been messing with my head. He came here briefly during the summer and we saw each other, reconnected and it was vague. A week later I was vacationing near him and he decided to drive five hours to see me only to show up and get mad that I wore a baseball hat to dinner after swimming in the ocean all day... last summer he was mad that I DIDN"T throw a hat on for dinner and instead wanted to shower first. So he get mad and said that I was "insecure" and drove five hours all the way home the very same day.

Three weeks later he texts and offers to buy me a flight and tickets for us to see our favorite band. He texts for a few days about it and then calls. I ask why suddenly he chooses to do this after what happened when we saw each other last. He barely has a response and so I ask him to call the next day after he has rested so we can figure out dates and a plan. He never calls.

A few days later he texts that his phone was dead and that he traveled to the lake house to see his buddy. He doesn't have service there (which is true cause I have been there before with him). But his excuse for the phone being dead was a lie. I tried calling him during this time and the phone rang a few times before I went to voicemail.

The day before the show I texted that I should be with him. He replied that he thought I should as well. I asked why he never called and he ignored me.

The night of the show, he sends a pic of the concert.

The next day I told him off. Said that he was egocentric and selfish. That I am tired of his mind games and that it is childish to constantly give someone the silent treatment or run away when you don't get your way. I told him that I can't deal with it anymore and that he is a narcissist, that his friend was right when he said that everything has to be his way. He hasn't replied....

What the heck??? Three years of this back and forth. I felt like he has to care because he came here for Christmas last year to be with me. I just can't deal with his frustrating behavior anymore. Do you think he knows that I am right about his behavior, deep down? Or did my verbal attack on his character just pound the last nail into the coffin? I have never spoken to him like this- EVER- but I love him but I just want him to see the light and GROW UP!

[searock]

Stop wasting your time on this guy. Stop talking to him entirely, delete and block his number. Find someone that lives close to you to date.

[basilandthyme]

Of course he hasn't replied. You dumped him - I can't see there's anything left for him to say.

[searock]

She didn't dump him I think, she just told him that she couldn't deal with that sort of behavior anymore. Clearly she can, since she is still wondering and hoping he does reply.

Just forget about him OP, your "relationship" was never a healthy, happy one and you know it. You can do better, date local.

[Lulu]

Thanks. I need to change my thinking... I am stuck in this rut of romanticizing our relationship and history. I need to realize that he is a narcissist and never really cared for me, only for what I could offer or provide to him when he needed it, I guess. Just got a little worked up for a moment about it. Thanks, Searock.

[HDBadger]

He might be bad boyfriend material, but it's 100 percent your fault for putting up with this nonsense. Learn from the experience moving forward.

[VincenzoG91]

Also, date locally.

[Lulu]

I told him off! And I have a date on Saturday with a new guy. A tall and strapping Marine!!! He is five years younger but hopefully he isn't freaked out by the age difference. There is also a handsome doc at work that is being awfully flirtatious but I have always held out for my (now) ex. I thought that if I hung in there and proved my love and loyalty that it would end well.

[Exeter19]

imho, gutless people choose the silent treatment because they don't know how to communicate properly their side of something, or how to spin whatever lie and so they avoid the other person until it blows over, or the other person gives up trying. take it as a sign not to bother with them anymore, can't respect you if they don't want to discuss things with you.