Sex is still painful

[RavenClawBs]

How many times after loosing your virginity, as a women, does it normally take for sex to feel pleasurable?

Background:
My girlfriend and I have been engaging in regular intercourse for the past month (up to two times a day, minimum once every 2 days).
Since loosing her virginity, things seems to be progressively getting better, although it is slow. Loosing her virginity seemed to be really painful for her. The first few times we had penetrative sex weren't very pleasurable for her.

Right now I still have to take it very slow and she says the pain has lessened but it takes about 5min before it starts to feel good enough to not have to go slow (she is moaning out of pleasure by that point).

Foreplay lasts a few minutes and she appears aroused/ready at that point.

We've probably had penetrative sex 20-25 times now, sometimes not full penetration.

[basilandthyme]

It sounds like she's not aroused sufficiently.

For the record, foreplay needs to last longer than a few minutes. Don't move on from foreplay until she's so aroused that she's literally begging for sex.

[Exeter19]

if it persists have her go to a gyno and see what the problems are. it shouldn't still be so painful, but idk, better to be looked over & find out and then enjoy sex fully. could try other ways and toys to get your gf off too.

[lalalita]

Sex only hurt the very first time I was penetrated and my hymen was broken (I bled). We had sex again a few days later, and I was expecting pain, but was pleasantly surprised it didn't hurt. It wasn't pleasurable, it didn't really feel like anything. It took a few months of mediocre sex and a new sex partner for me to be like OH THAT'S WHAT SEX SHOULD FEEL LIKE.

If your penis is very long, you could be hitting her cervix. Do you ever feel a wall that the head of your penis hits? You could try going less deep. Her vaginal muscles deeper in her probably aren't used to being stretched out.

[fearoflove]

She need to relax. Or, maybe there is something wrong with her body. Tell her to go to the gyno to see if there is anything wrong.

[Boisdevie]

She needs to be more aroused. Try buying her a nice handbag - that'll get her excited.

[LadyRadiator2.0]

From my experience, my first time was very painful. We had to stop several times because it hurt so much. It took some time for the pain to go away, probably a month or two. I can't tell you how long it will take for her because everyone is different. It could also have something to do with your size and her size.

[searock]

She feels pain because she isn't aroused enough. She needs to be completely relaxed in order to reach full arousal and only then intercourse will not be painful for her anymore.

[lisatalarico]

Have a longer foreplay and use some intimate gel. That should help.

[starlight87]

Gees I must have been lucky, my first time didn't hurt. As far as first times go, I'd say it was pretty good. As for your gf... a few minutes foreplay... I'd think you'd need more than that, make sure she's fully aroused enough for penetrative sex. If it doesn't get any better maybe go to doc to be on the safe side.

[DalM0m]

Try giving her massage to relax her. As others have suggested, lots & lots of foreplay to make sure she's ready. Dry insertion hurts because of the friction. If she is fully lubricated, she may need a medical exam because something could be really wrong.

[danac]

You need to relax her more. Do long massage first, kiss her slowly and long time before going in.

[Silent Siren]

I would definitely tell her to go to her female doctor. I had a similar problem until I learned that my uterus was retroverted...i.e. it tilts towards my back when standing rather than towards the front which is the "norm". About 15% of all women have a retroverted uterus. Certain positions during sex can be extremely painful for women like me. No other complications accompany the condition.

Two things to try...use lube (astroglide is my favorite) and try different positions. Female on top is the most pleasurable for me and there is no pain. Male dominating positions (upright missionary and doggy for example) can be the most difficult for women with tilted uterus.

[basilandthyme]

old thread...

[Divine]

On the less severe end, it could just be that you need to use more lubrication or try some different positions to see what works best. If it's not that, then it could be a gyno problem like hymen fragments or a mild case of vaginismus which can be very painful. They are treatable, luckily. Vaginismus would probably take a lot more time because if it is a hymen fragment then that can be removed with surgery, but if it is vaginismus she has to use dilators to gradually increase her tolerance and change her body's involuntary reaction of tightening the muscles. If she has had previous pain with tampons/toys anything like that, then that is pertinent information. These problems are actually surprisingly common for women, so be prepared for that possibility. I have vaginismus and to be honest, if I have sex it feels like I am being ripped in half. Not fun at all. If it is pleasurable for her though, then that may not be her problem unless she has just increased her tolerance naturally. The only other thing I can think of that it could be is that she has a particularly tough hymen that will take some time to stretch. I would think that if you've had sex 20-25 times, then I can't see why it wouldn't be stretched enough. I agree with the other users though too, a few minutes of foreplay is not enough. It should certainly help if you ask her what she likes and what feels good. Then you can vary your techniques a little to have a more effective foreplay session. Do some experimenting. If that doesn't work, make sure she gets checked out. Vaginas are meant to handle childbirth, so it really shouldn't be a problem of whether she is too small or you are too big. There should be plenty of room.