Why do you men string women along?

[Wakeup]

MORE victim mentality. Forgive yourself for what you allowed happen in your life. The sooner you do that, the sooner you will grow from this. If you want help in overcoming your disappointment and pain of not getting your own way and ending up with the ****tard you've been trying to steal away from his wife for 4 years then start a new thread and we'll walk you through some things you can do to move on (and away) from this man. But to listen to your victim mentalitity is SMH worthy.

YOU made a fool out of yourself when you bedded a married man.

YOU listened to his words instead of paying attention to his actions.

HE did not take advantage of you. You volunteered and now you blame it all on him instead of taking responsiblity for your own naive stupidity.

I used to feel as if he will always be a part of me because I had a baby with him but now it's not about him. It's all about my son.

For your son's sake, I hope you're smart enough to actually mean that.

You Are Not A Victim. Accept that and you'll get over this emotional turmoil much more quickly.

It a given that he's a fking douche bag to the nth degree (incomprehensible why you'd even want him permanently in your life since he's proved to you that he's a cheating twat) That doesn't excuse your own culpability, not one little bit does it.

Why do you men string women along?.

Again: Simply because women of low self worth/respect allow them to. Actions speak lounder then words and when you seen (after 4 years *rolls eyes*) that he wasn't leaving his marriage then you should have left him (long befor 4 years) and you should have made sure that you were vigilant in your birth control method. Sadly your scheme did not garner you this ugly man you pine over.

[HeartIsAching]

Wish I could thank that post 100 times.

[basilandthyme]

For the record, I'm not bashing you because of your mistake. I'm critical because you're being delusional thinking that your son deserves acceptance within his family. His family owes you and your son squat.

[smackie9]

And don't think for a second you have all the rights. He can have a say in it too and decide to stay out of you kid's life if he chooses to.

[Nicki XoXo]

You've got to be kidding me! He does not have the right to put OUR child off. His wife has no say so in this, not even legally. It's much as his child as it is mine. How can you say such a thing? If he has nothing to do with our son, when he gets older and asks his father why he had nothing to do with him and he says, because the wife didn't want me to. Is that fair to my son? If he doesn't be a part of my sons life, I will make his life a living hell. He will not do that because he loves our son. I was just explaining the what if`s.

[Nicki XoXo]

He can't toss OUR son aside just because he's had an epiphany and got back with the wife. The wife needs to accept everything so everything can be in the open. If not, then she will wind up the miserable one.

[J.Sphynx]

Although inaccurate, you're entitled to your own opinion. It's as annoying as people saying, it's our love child.

It's appalling to me that all you people want to do is bash me for a mistake I made and admitted to. Do you have any idea what I am going through? I just gave birth, I'm not with the father and I'm ashamed to move back home. My family is religious and I have to go home with a baby born out of wedlock and under these circumstances. He made a fool out of me and I accept that I let him but he lied to me throughout our entire relationship. He knew I loved him and he took advantage of me. I may not be single for the rest of my life. I'm 27 and I have time to establish other things in life. Right now that isn't a concern of mine. My child only is. I have to live with the fact that he's not going to be with both parents. A family. I know I have to deal with my consequences. We've already agreed to co parent. The baby is ours and he will be there and that's all I need to concern myself with was how he explained it. I'm not going to waste any more of my life with him and I'm just going to be a mother to my son. It'll take some time for me to get over this heartbreak though. I used to feel as if he will always be a part of me because I had a baby with him but now it's not about him. It's all about my son.

Mistake? (far from it), you made a conscience decision to be with this man despite him being married, your nativity gave you false hope, from then you started to plot a fantasy which only suited you. You have religious teachings, so you know the stigma of a child born out of wedlock means, it could mean dis-fellowship, and ultimate shame upon your family. Play with fire you get burnt, however in your case, left out in the cold, with no blanket.

You've got to be kidding me! He does not have the right to put OUR child off. His wife has no say so in this, not even legally. It's much as his child as it is mine. How can you say such a thing? If he has nothing to do with our son, when he gets older and asks his father why he had nothing to do with him and he says, because the wife didn't want me to. Is that fair to my son? If he doesn't be a part of my sons life, I will make his life a living hell. He will not do that because he loves our son. I was just explaining the what if`s.

I think they're quite serious, he has every right to disown and deny any child of his, no law can force him to be physically active father figure to a child that was conceived illegitimately.

He can't toss OUR son aside just because he's had an epiphany and got back with the wife. The wife needs to accept everything so everything can be in the open. If not, then she will wind up the miserable one.

He doesn't have to accept you or him, nor do they owe you any favours, in my opinion you are a disgrace to the female gender, l'm almost prompted to push the law be changed so women like you can't take advantage of the system or married men and their families.

[Wakeup]

At this point, I call nicki a troll. No one can be a stupid as she is and hold "a good career."

[Nicki XoXo]

You people have insulted me and referred to my child as a bastard and I am the incompetent one? It's stupid to believe that he has no obligation to my son if that's what he chooses to. He does have an obligation to my son. Now you're making a mockery out of my life. Thanks for some advice. As far as the others, I will not take into consideration.

[HeartIsAching]

Your son is a bastard. You made him so. Too bad.

The only 'obligation' he has to your son is financially. Believing anything else is delusional.

You're either a troll, or a bunny-boiler. If the latter, I suggest you try getting help.

[Nicki XoXo]

I do have a career. I have my masters. I worked for him until I became pregnant and he suggested that it would be best for me to take time off and he would let me come back. I am wise enough to know that he was manipulating that situation. He just didn't want it to get out there. Whether I leave or stay, I will be more then okay. I spoke with my mother and she wants to visit me for a couple of weeks. They are disappointed but forgiving. Everyone knew he was my boyfriend. I told them he was my fiance. They couldn't understand why he wasn't marrying me with me being pregnant and our supposed engagement and all. My family wants me back home. In Texas because I am all the way California. My baby wasn't digesting milk properly and he was crying alot. I give him breast milk snd he's fine now. I never knew I could love so much but I love him. It's hurt me for my son for you people to say his dad doesn't have to be there for him except financially. He's obligated to have a relationship with him. I am inexperienced so it takes forever for me to bathe him. He'll cry but if his dad is here, he's more experienced. He'll take care of hom very well. His children love him. He's the best daddy. I just want my son to have the same. I don't want to argue with his wife. If they are going to he together she has to face reality that he has another child. Ignoring it isn't going to change it. That's my point. He offered to get me a nanny that he and his wife know but I was insulted. I know we are not together so I am not going to have the benefit of him being here. He's married and that's part of the consequences. I get that, okay. Still, I am excited about my mother and sister coming. I have some decisions to make.

[HeartIsAching]

It's hurt me for my son for you people to say his dad doesn't have to be there for him except financially.

Wahhh... welcome to the real world, moron.

[Nicki XoXo]

Do you have children? If so, you must be a dead beat dad. If not, then you don't understand my point. Any man with children could never only support their kids financially and think that's okay to not be a part of their lives. Asshole.

[smackie9]

That's not true. I know guys that have signed over total custody to the mother and don't pay support or see their kid. Some don't give a shit yes, but sometimes it's for the best due to certain circumstances like my brother did. So stfu.

[searock]

Wahhh... welcome to the real world, moron.

I think she's right on that part, though. The father of the child should be in the child's life, no matter how complicated the situation with the mother is. It's his son, he should be there for him. He's as responsible as she is, the child shouldn't have to pay for his parents' immaturity and mistakes.

Nikki, as for anything else, your married man and his family owe you NOTHING at all. It's incredible how you actually expected things to go differently. How can you be so naive?!