First time advice

**Grimraven** · 23-09-13, 07:33 AM

Hello,

I went on a date with a girl and we both found chemistry.
We have been dating through a distance for about 1.5 months since.
We are talking a lot via webcam almost every day.
I plan to visit her in 2 weeks and spend few days with her.
She quickly invited me to stay at her place when I come to visit her.
We haven't even kissed, but it feels like we are really close when we talk on webcam.
We chatted about sex on skype a few times, she has expressed her desire to be together and that she is attracted to me.
One time we did imaginary foreplay without going too much into though.
However, following right after, my girlfriend asked me if I expect something to happen between us when I come to visit her. I was honest and answered positively.
But then she got kind of serious about it and replied that I would have to wait for her to be ready for as long as it takes.
So at this point I am not sure how to act or what to expect when I see her. Originally, I thought, once I meet her, I would start with a kiss when I go to her place and then probably go all the way. But right now I feel like she would be upset if I made that move so quickly and perhaps uncomfortable.
Any advices on this situation?

Thanks,
Grim

**Agnus** · 23-09-13, 07:48 AM

Relax. There's nothing scary in having sex. Behave casually. It's like having fun. Actually the girl should initiate intercourse but before that happens you should seduce her. Hug her, kiss her, make jokes, be cute and funny till she starts pleading to hump her. Then show your best.

**J.Sphynx** · 23-09-13, 08:18 AM

She's not your 'girlfriend' yet, until intimate physical actions take place between you both, she is nothing more than acquaintance on the other end of a screen (play buddy).

It's time for you decide, is she worth your time, effort and financial commitment?, sometimes online chemistry is not enough to warrant a base for a long term relationship.

Take into consideration this, sense of speech, touch and smell are some of the things that lock in our attraction to someone, if one of these don't reach our specifications it will destroy the vision we've become accustomed too, who knows she might smell bad, her touch might be as cold as ice, or she may not be as cheerful and talkative after all.

She's obviously cautious about the sex issue and has made it quite clear you must wait, so in my own experience and opinion, if l have chatted with a guy longer than 1.5 months and l send him an invite to come, that means 'you and l are going to get it on!', I can't be 100% why this chick is holding off all l can say is, she can't be that into you, she's keeping you involved as a fall back guy until someone more to her tastes comes along, or she has alternative motives.

**Grimraven** · 23-09-13, 09:22 PM

It's the first time for us, it's not like we didn't have sex in our previous relationships. Sorry for the confusion. I was thinking that maybe she not sure how she will feel around me in person, that's why she did not want me to set my expectations too high. On the other hand, she invited me to come stay at her place and basically sleep in the same bed...not sure why she expects it would be easy for a guy to just sleep right next to her without doing anything...

**Boisdevie** · 23-09-13, 11:26 PM

'Imaginary foreplay'? Is that like whacking off but pretending someone else is juggling your bits?

**Grimraven** · 23-09-13, 11:51 PM

no, it's more like sharing your thoughts, how things would go during that time

**Boisdevie** · 24-09-13, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by Grimraven

no, it's more like sharing your thoughts, how things would go during that time

I was joking. It's funny though, back in the olden days (1980s) we didnt have the 'net, facebook etc so we had to do our dating face to face. Now it's all this virtual bullshittery. You young people simply have no idea - I have a real girlfriend. I get to see her in person, in fact I shall see her tonight. And we'll get to have sex - not virtual foreplay.

**Wakeup** · 24-09-13, 02:26 AM

Virtual Bullshittery

Voted Best Quote of the week.

**Wakeup** · 24-09-13, 02:27 AM

Originally Posted by Grimraven

not sure why she expects it would be easy for a guy to just sleep right next to her without doing anything...

Why not... you're pretending to fk her without actually doing anything?

**Grimraven** · 24-09-13, 06:49 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Why not... you're pretending to fk her without actually doing anything?

no, what I am getting at, is why would she invite me to stay at her place and sleep in the same bed, and expect not to have sex?
If that's the case, i would rather sleep at my own place.

**Wakeup** · 24-09-13, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Grimraven

no, what I am getting at, is why would she invite me to stay at her place and sleep in the same bed, and expect not to have sex?
If that's the case, i would rather sleep at my own place.

Because she doesn't know you and she not ready to have REAL sex with you yet. Although I understand you're expectations (because no girl should be using any guy for a real live teddy bear and she should only be inviting a man to her bed if she's ready to have sex with him ~ You seem to have some "entitlement issues" that you might want to work on. I'm sure she'd rather have you sleep at your own place as well if you expect her to fk you just because you're there. Have you considered that you could go to hers and stay over night if the distance is a problem and simply sleep on her couch / spare room if she's not ready to have REAL sex with you yet?

**Agnus** · 24-09-13, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by Grimraven

no, what I am getting at, is why would she invite me to stay at her place and sleep in the same bed, and expect not to have sex?
If that's the case, i would rather sleep at my own place.

It's a wonderful opportunity to masturbate without watching PornTube.

**J.Sphynx** · 24-09-13, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Grimraven

It's the first time for us, it's not like we didn't have sex in our previous relationships. Sorry for the confusion. I was thinking that maybe she not sure how she will feel around me in person, that's why she did not want me to set my expectations too high. On the other hand, she invited me to come stay at her place and basically sleep in the same bed...not sure why she expects it would be easy for a guy to just sleep right next to her without doing anything...

So you have had an intimate relationship in the past with this women?

As a female l can understand that, no offence but if l'm not feeling real desire or attraction for the guy then it takes time and alot of self convincing l can and will feel something for him eventually. It may seem harsh but that is the sad reality, we categorise men in a sense, so each one fits into a certain space.

If he's handsome, well groomed, successful, or preferably a high ranking officer or general, our panties drop to the floor no questions asked.

Our mindsets are very different, so if we invite a guy to sleep over in our bed, it's not for sex it's for comfort.

**Wakeup** · 24-09-13, 09:54 PM

^^^^ Please! Speak for yourself and not for an entire gender. Your panties drop for Handsome, wellgroomed, successful a high ranking officer or general "no questions asked" I like to ask questions. You know, just to make sure under all that fluff there is a real good guy there. O.o Its suited me well.

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