So confused? He loves me but doesnt want a relationship.

[basilandthyme]

You mean "Save your pride". Dignity isn't selfish. Big mistake to let any pride into a relationship - will destroy it in no time. And this is how you lose things that you've built for years real fast..

No, I don't mean "save your pride". Do not put words in my mouth.

I'm not talking about pride within a relationship, I'm talking about her choices now that the relationship is over. I'm talking about not begging to be with a man who no longer wants her.

OP, I'm glad to see that you're going No Contact: You're making the right choice for yourself. This nightmare will be over before you know it and you'll find new love.

[toknow]

What you are talking about has no selflessness about it, basil.

You can try to wrap it in Mother Teresa coating all you want, it's not gonna make it selfless.

[ashleyyann]

What if something inside of me will not let me give up? I find myself thinking I can fix this and I sent him a message today. I know this guy like the back of my hand. We were so comfortable and wonderful with each other. My heart wants me to try. My heart tells me "Don't give up on this, because you know who he is. You know he's confused and maybe he's dealing with something in his life right now. You love him. Don't give up."

[ashleyyann]

I told him this:
You know, you don't have to respond to me but I'm sure you read these so I'm going to type you something from the bottom of my heart: I look back and i see how wonderful we really were together. How goofy we could be with one another and how adorable we were. Your grandpa telling us to "Take care of one another" and everyone in both of our families could see how much we loved each other in our eyes. I look back and I miss that goofy boy who tried to make me watch his magic tricks, who told me those horrible puns, who made me laugh even when I didn't even want to smile, who looked at the world as if it was his playground at his feet. I look back and I see everything that we were and everything that we had and I dont know how you can give up on something so beautiful. Something that made us feel like we were on top of the world. I look back and I see the most wonderful boyfriend anyone in the world could ever have. And it kills me that I lost that. And im sorry if I annoy you with this but you cant ever say I didn't try. I don't know what I did to be ignored and shunned out of your life. But even though, im trying my hardest to hate you and not want anything to do with you, you have no idea how hard it is. You have no clue how hard it is to go around without talking to your best friend every day. You were much more than my boyfriend. You were my soul mate. And nothing less. And maybe you can look back someday and see it too. You can see me as just some girl in your past now, just someone who was there before you met the right one. But you never fought through the hard times to see if i was the right one. And although you're acting like every other guy in the world right now, I can look back and see this wonderful guy who loved me with all of his heart and soul. And that guy will never be just another guy in my book."

[basilandthyme]

What you are talking about has no selflessness about it, basil.

well duh. I haven't suggested she be selfless. On the contrary, I'm suggesting she put herself first and leave him in the past. Kick him to the kerb.

She will move past this and find new love with someone who deserves her love. It may take time, but now that he's ended things, she needs to look out for herself.

[toknow]

I told him this:
You know, you don't have to respond to me but I'm sure you read these so I'm going to type you something from the bottom of my heart: I look back and i see how wonderful we really were together. How goofy we could be with one another and how adorable we were. Your grandpa telling us to "Take care of one another" and everyone in both of our families could see how much we loved each other in our eyes. I look back and I miss that goofy boy who tried to make me watch his magic tricks, who told me those horrible puns, who made me laugh even when I didn't even want to smile, who looked at the world as if it was his playground at his feet. I look back and I see everything that we were and everything that we had and I dont know how you can give up on something so beautiful. Something that made us feel like we were on top of the world. I look back and I see the most wonderful boyfriend anyone in the world could ever have. And it kills me that I lost that. And im sorry if I annoy you with this but you cant ever say I didn't try. I don't know what I did to be ignored and shunned out of your life. But even though, im trying my hardest to hate you and not want anything to do with you, you have no idea how hard it is. You have no clue how hard it is to go around without talking to your best friend every day. You were much more than my boyfriend. You were my soul mate. And nothing less. And maybe you can look back someday and see it too. You can see me as just some girl in your past now, just someone who was there before you met the right one. But you never fought through the hard times to see if i was the right one. And although you're acting like every other guy in the world right now, I can look back and see this wonderful guy who loved me with all of his heart and soul. And that guy will never be just another guy in my book."

It's very nice.

There are few things that you probably shouldn't have said, but it's ok.

You've said what you needed. There is two things you can do at this moment. Persist trying to talk to him, or live it and give him some time to come around. The first one can be risky if it makes him completely shun you out and tells you to live him alone, but at the same time it gives you complete closure, and the peace of mind that you've done all you could. The second one is not without risks itself because if you let it be without fighting for it, you might lose it.

I'd say follow your heart.

[ashleyyann]

It's very nice.

There are few things that you probably shouldn't have said, but it's ok.

You've said what you needed. There is two things you can do at this moment. Persist trying to talk to him, or live it and give him some time to come around.

Agreed. I feel as though I probably shouldn't have said some things but it was all to make him think about really what he's losing. And honestly, everything has been in person whenever we've talked and this is the first time it's written down that he can actually soak it all in and read it word for word. I noticed what you added after and its very true that I will have my closure if he shuns me out and tells me to leave him alone. It is definitely possible that it could make it hurt more but I then know that I everything possible to try to bring him back. However, the last thing I want to do is annoy him and be that crazy ex girlfriend. All I've ever wanted to do is show him that I care and I want to be with him. I think for now, I'll lay low and I won't be persistent. I will let him think that message over for a while and cross my fingers that maybe I'll get some type of response back some time. I'm going against what everyone has told me and everyone will probably be able to say "I told you so." after it's all over, but it's that shred of hope that what we had as a couple is stronger than anything that keeps me going. He was very optimistic and saw the light in what we had when we were together and he doesn't anymore. I just want to show him that light again.

I am a hopeless romantic.
Sorry if anything I'm saying seems very corny.

[toknow]

Agreed. I feel as though I probably shouldn't have said some things but it was all to make him think about really what he's losing. And honestly, everything has been in person whenever we've talked and this is the first time it's written down that he can actually soak it all in and read it word for word. I noticed what you added after and its very true that I will have my closure if he shuns me out and tells me to leave him alone. It is definitely possible that it could make it hurt more but I then know that I everything possible to try to bring him back. However, the last thing I want to do is annoy him and be that crazy ex girlfriend. All I've ever wanted to do is show him that I care and I want to be with him. I think for now, I'll lay low and I won't be persistent. I will let him think that message over for a while and cross my fingers that maybe I'll get some type of response back some time. I'm going against what everyone has told me and everyone will probably be able to say "I told you so." after it's all over, but it's that shred of hope that what we had as a couple is stronger than anything that keeps me going. He was very optimistic and saw the light in what we had when we were together and he doesn't anymore. I just want to show him that light again.

I am a hopeless romantic.
Sorry if anything I'm saying seems very corny.

It's great that you are romantic, don't say you are sorry for your positive qualities.

Yes, I think you are going about it the right way. And also agree that having it written down is usually better.

[smackie9]

He knows what he is losing...people do some hard thinking before they determin whether to breakup with someone or not. There wasn't enough there for him to want to stay and work it out. In his mind he is doing it for the best...not just for him, but for you because he can no longer give you what youneed.

[Wakeup]

I told him this:
You know, you don't have to respond to me but I'm sure you read these so I'm going to type you something from the bottom of my heart: I look back and i see how wonderful we really were together. How goofy we could be with one another and how adorable we were. Your grandpa telling us to "Take care of one another" and everyone in both of our families could see how much we loved each other in our eyes. I look back and I miss that goofy boy who tried to make me watch his magic tricks, who told me those horrible puns, who made me laugh even when I didn't even want to smile, who looked at the world as if it was his playground at his feet. I look back and I see everything that we were and everything that we had and I dont know how you can give up on something so beautiful. Something that made us feel like we were on top of the world. I look back and I see the most wonderful boyfriend anyone in the world could ever have. And it kills me that I lost that. And im sorry if I annoy you with this but you cant ever say I didn't try. I don't know what I did to be ignored and shunned out of your life. But even though, im trying my hardest to hate you and not want anything to do with you, you have no idea how hard it is. You have no clue how hard it is to go around without talking to your best friend every day. You were much more than my boyfriend. You were my soul mate. And nothing less. And maybe you can look back someday and see it too. You can see me as just some girl in your past now, just someone who was there before you met the right one. But you never fought through the hard times to see if i was the right one. And although you're acting like every other guy in the world right now, I can look back and see this wonderful guy who loved me with all of his heart and soul. And that guy will never be just another guy in my book."

You've put yourself out there and that was your attempt to sway him, when he's in no position to even be in a relationship with you or anyone else at the moment until he gets his own head straightened out.

Leave him alone now and let him process what you've sent him and either act on it or ignore it. Don't burden him anymore with what YOU want.