Any help from the men of the forum please......

[bessieb]

I'm not being sexist and welcome girls answers but I just wondered from a guy point of view, when a guy who hasn't said he loves you and struggles with talking about feelings asks to get his mom and dad with your mom and dad for a drinks meeting and you're 100% sure there isnt going to be an announcement, what does it mean?

[searock]

How can a bunch of strangers know what's going on in your boyfriend's mind? Have you asked him what it means? Why are you still together with a guy that says he doesn't love you?

[bessieb]

I have asked him and he says he just wants them to meet, Im still with him because he shows his love to me in different ways, he just struggles with vocalising it.

I was just asking if any of the guys on the forum could share what they might personally think and why they would do it if they ever did. that's what forums are about isn't it?

[cbad]

If you've met his parents and he has met yours, then it probably means that he's trying to get them to know one another. It's just a very awkward and, frankly, odd way to move the relationship forward. If you guys haven't met each others' parents, then it's just strange and I doubt that anyone here could tell you what it means. Your best bet is to talk to him. Although he may struggle to vocalize his thoughts, if you feel like you can't talk to him about these things then you're not really in a relationship where parents should be meeting. Good luck.

[bessieb]

Thanks cbad, we have met each others and spent a lot of time with them, I can talk to him about it and have done but like I said he's not good at vocalising feelings, some men aren't, hes not on his own there.

Sometimes we just try and reach out for others opinions, that's all I was doing.

[cbad]

By the way, I don't mean that it's odd for parents to meet each other. That's normal. I just mean that I sort of think drinks as a first-time meeting for parents is weird. I would think maybe a meal at a restaurant or your home or even one of their homes would be more conventional, but that's just me.

[searock]

Some men aren't good at vocalizing feelings, but there's a difference between not saying "I love you" and saying "I don't love you". Seems like he's vocalizing his feelings just fine...

[bessieb]

I'm sorry searock, I'm not following, he hasn't said I love you verbally, however he shows it to me in everything he does, so does that mean he doesnt love me, or does that mean he is just someone who has an inability to say it.

[cbad]

Uh, if he hasn't even said he loves you, then your parents shouldn't be meeting.

[searock]

I'm sorry searock, I'm not following, he hasn't said I love you verbally, however he shows it to me in everything he does, so does that mean he doesnt love me, or does that mean he is just someone who has an inability to say it.

Oh, sorry, my bad, I thought you said that he "says he doesn't love you".

In this case, I think it's a good sign he wants your families to meet :-).

[bessieb]

Thanks searock, he hasn't said he doesnt he has said he doesnt know how to verbalise and that he doesnt know how to let go and do it.

[Wakeup]

Uh, if he hasn't even said he loves you, then your parents shouldn't be meeting.

Uh.. Yes, they should. After going out with someone for awhile, parents want to know their childs bf/gf's parents. Its common in Canada anyway.

OP: I suggest you get the book The Five Love Languages and read how people show their love in different ways. It would be good if your boyfriend read it as well because then he can actually suss out what makes you feel loved. I'd think that what he's doing (by showing you in actions that he loves you) is satisfying you as can articulate it nicely in your defence of him. Just get the meeting done with and have fun is my advice.

How long have you two been a couple?

[bessieb]

Wakeup

Thanks for the advice......

We have been a couple for a year and I am looking forward to it. I will look up the book on the internet.

[TheRaven]

I'm not being sexist and welcome girls answers but I just wondered from a guy point of view, when a guy who hasn't said he loves you and struggles with talking about feelings asks to get his mom and dad with your mom and dad for a drinks meeting and you're 100% sure there isnt going to be an announcement, what does it mean?

I can only verbalize what i'd do...if i love a girl...i'd say it...I wouldn't be able not to say it.
Actions...as in hold door for you....or call you and speak nicely to you...well...any decent guy does that for girls that he's having sex with.
However this whole " the parents need to meet" ...have YOU met his parents? Or has he met your parents?

I cant even begin to guess. In my mind...the parents meeting meeting happens after a girl and guy are engaged.

<edit> I re read the original post..i dont know where people are getting that he's said " i dont love you" ...she's saying that he simply hasn't said "i love you"

Huuuge difference


R

[searock]

I will look up the book on the internet.

You can also take the test online to find out what your love language is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/