Boyfriend of five years breaks up with me

[Bk9008]

My, now ex, boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We have had some rocky times like any couple would. He went to college 10 hours away from me and we did kong distance for 1.5 years. He did break up with me while away at college because it was just too hard. We didnt speak for a whole month, despite me trying to contact him. When he came back for Christmas break he said he didn't realize how much he missed me and still loved me until he saw me. Since then we have been back together for 2 years. I did have some trust issues I had to work through from our break up and his time away. As i began to build my trust there would be little incidents that would tear it back down. I made my first big mistake a Few months back and it was hard for him to get over. We have never cheated or anything just made petty mistakes, like with Facebook or the texting, stupid things that should not cause a fight but often do. We worked through our problems and I gained full trust. Just a few weeks back he asked what I would say if he asked me to marry him. I of course said yes and he held me so tight and was so happy. (We didn't get engaged it was just a what if question). We talk about everything and he uses my shoulder to cry on if he ever needs it. I felt we were making so much progress with any issues and were extremely happy. He always had a big smile when he saw me and immediately gave me kisses and hugs. He had even tried to get me pregnant a few times in which I had to remind him he was still in his last aerator of college and we needed to wait. With all of this being said, two days ago he said we needed to talk. He said that he has been unhappy and that we needed to break up. Just the day before he was acting fine and saying he loved me couldn't wait to see me, etc. this came out of no where for me. I tried asking how he could be unhappy with the way he was acting including asking me to marry him. He brought up our past trust issues, which aren't even a problem any more. He has never brought up the past ifs anything I would be the one to do so. When I said aside from him thinking their were still trust issues, what else was wrong. He couldn't answer me. I have done nothing but trust him for the past 6 months. Any issue that mIght have been I have worked really hard to fix. He has seemed so happy and I have felt we were the best we have ever been. I just don't understand his reasoning and how he changed overnight. It hurts so bad and is sending me into depression. All I want to do is talk to him. He said he would always love me and we could keep in touch but just not for a while. I feel like everything happened so suddenly and it's so confusing. What hurts even worse is to think he was actually unhappy but I feel like you can't fake happiness. And he was always so happy around me. At advice or similar situations would be helpful. I just feel lost and hoping he will come back.

[smackie9]

Sorry to say this but when someone does a 180, it usually means they have cheated or they are interested in someone else. Him saying he was unhappy is a coverup from the actual truth.


I could be wrong............you will have to wait and see I guess.

[ladyluck87]

Yeah, I think you have to wait and see like smackie9 said, but I've been through the same situation. His telling you that he was unhappy is to try to burden you with some of the blame for the breakup. It is done to make you think that you somehow didn't do something right. The truth is that this is not your fault. He is telling you that he was unhappy now to make himself blameless. He has probably found someone else or is just merely tired of being in relationship and wants to be single...can't cheat or have the desire to cheat when you're single. I went through this months ago with an ex, and it's almost like they have the same script when they break up with you to "be players".

[4 ratties]

Well now you'll never be able to trust him again.. He just broke up with u out of the blue ? What an asshole. Why even waste more time trying to trust him all over again. He's broken up wit you twice. You gave it a second chance. I wouldn't give a third chance, but of course it's up to you, if he even would take u back. I wouldn't put up with this tho. That's just me.

[Fioni]

I went through this with my previous four year relationship. I couldn't understand why he wanted to break up with me, or why he kept going hot and cold on me.
after I realized that the relationship was affected by my perspective and reactions to him, i altered my behavior. Months later, he came back. But I wanted nothing to do with him.

[Boisdevie]

Months later, he came back. But I wanted nothing to do with him.

Women can be cruel. Poor guy.

[Karan]

Wow pretty much same thing happened with mine but alil different from my story. But end result for us was we keep trying and our exs show us the boot. I don't get it how can they be so cruel. Y would they do this to us. All we tried was to make it work gave it our best and we got nothing in return but pain broke heart lost of love and life.

Your not alone I am in the same rocky boat I m lost confused and hurt life doesn't make sense. No matter what we try it doesn't help. But ur not alone.

[smackie9]

There are some guys out there, that when they meet someone that is way hotter, the GF becomes yesterday's news.