Guy Friends and Do I Move Forward with Guy?

[ladyluck87]

My friend and I had breakfast the other morning, and I was able to ask some more questions that I think have kind of placed he and I into a new frame of how we feel about one another.

I finally asked him what his deal was, and was he married. He told me, which I accept for truth until I find out differently. He said she was his baby's mother, and he said that they still "kick it" or "hang out". He said he wasn't sure how my relationship was with my daughter's dad, but they still tried to do the family thing for the baby a couple times out of the week. He said that because he's in the military and never knows when he'll have to go away or when he'll see his daughter, he tries to monopolize the time he spends with her. He said that neither of them really know what they want or if they want anything from one another. Then he tell me that he really enjoys me and wants to continue to allow things to progress slowly between me and him if that's what I want. He says, "Well, you can take it for what it's worth but I showed my family your picture as the new girl that I am interested in and talking to. I just want to allow things to progress into something with us."

Then he began to touch on something that I have heard before, which is that he has seen my pictures on Instagram where I'm hanging out with my male friends or going out to dinner with my guy friends(gay males). When he met me, I was out with a bunch of my guy friends from HS. He said "I'm not really sure sometimes how you feel about me or what you're thinking about an "US" because you're always amongst so many guys. I don't feel comfortable asking or getting in your business because we aren't in a relationship or anything" and I said "You're right, we aren't. Those guys are either my long time friends from HS or they are gay. I have guys friends. I have other guys that I talk to, but I am interested in one person, which is you. However, I felt like you had some baggage, and I don't allow myself to get attached to people with baggage. It doesn't make for a happy heart"

I also told him that he seemed unavailable, which is why I suspected him of being married. He asked me, "So do you want me to become more available for you?" and I told, "No, I'd like for you to do whatever it is that you are comfortable doing". He never said anything else after that, but it's been two days, and I definitely have noticed a change in him and more communication from him.

1) Should I give this guy a try?

2) Why are females with PLATONIC male friends such an issue or intimidation factor? No, I haven't slept or dated any of them. I do have female friends, but maybe only two or three.

[smackie9]

His attitude about your guy friends is not the issue here.....he is sketchy and he's got baggage. Don't bother wasting your time unless you like drama.

[ladyluck87]

His attitude about your guy friends is not the issue here.....he is sketchy and he's got baggage. Don't bother wasting your time unless you like drama.

Sketchy?! Definitely have thought so before but what makes you think so?

[smackie9]

I got it right from when he told you "Well, you can take it for what it's worth but I showed my family your picture as the new girl that I am interested in and talking to. I just want to allow things to progress into something with us." That's what you call conditioning by manipulation. It's like he's reading from a script, to just say the right thing....what a woman would want to hear.