Comfort vs. Passion

[BobxMarley]

I recently ended a 5 year relationship. When we first got together, everything was exciting and there was no shortage of passion for each other. After the first couple of years, we started to loose this passion. Our relationship became more comfortable and routine. Its almost as if our relationship transitioned into a close friendship. Eventually, the physical aspects of our relationship started having problems. Sex and kissing became very infrequent. There were some small issues that we never resolved that eventually kept surfacing. Eventually, I decided that the only solution was to end the relationship.

Since then, I dated someone where the tables were turned. The relationship was full of passion and excitement but lacked comfort and stability. We would take trips, go dancing, drinking, and spend full weekends together. The highs were sky high. However, she was very emotional and dramatic which eventually became a problem. I tried to work out these kinks but they kept coming back. Eventually, the relationship ended due to the dramatic nature of it.

Do you think comfort/stability or passion is more important long term? Do you think they can co-exist long term? How do you know when to stick it out or call it quits when a relationship becomes comfortable but lacks passion?

[Agnus]

Your situation is worse than you think. Passion is gone first as the most liquid energy. Then comfort disappears. You need a constant renewal of mind to keep passion everlasting.


Romans 12:2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

- King James Bible "Authorized Version", Cambridge Edition

Quantum Leaps in Thinking
http://www.learnmindpower.com/articles/quantum-leaps-thinking-part-i/

[VincenzoG91]

I agree that the passion can never last. You can chase after it, cycling through various short-term relationships, but it will always fade away. If you are with the right woman, the passion will eventually be replaced with a warm, comfortable feeling that can last for decades if the communication stays good.

[searock]

Didn't you ask this question already? Girl 2 is trouble, with her drama and her highs and lows... you don't need that in your life. As for the rest, VincenzoG91 said it all.

[Boisdevie]

Didn't you ask this question already? Girl 2 is trouble, with her drama and her highs and lows... you don't need that in your life. As for the rest, VincenzoG91 said it all.

I don't think we've yet given him the answer he wants so he keeps asking the same question, but in a different guise.

[BobxMarley]

No. I used the same situation to relate it to the topic. The question is can passion and comfort coexist long term. Same genre, different question.

[bubble]

I'd say passion changes, but it's still there. It's not that same exciting feeling of butterflies in your stomach and just needing to have the person right then and there, but when you do get into it, you still feel attraction to the person. I personally am cuddly and into all physical aspects of the relationship, so I wouldn't compromise there. And yes, I think the two can coexist and when they do, it's the best way for a relationship to be.

[searock]

No. I used the same situation to relate it to the topic. The question is can passion and comfort coexist long term. Same genre, different question.

Depends on what you mean by "passion". I have a feeling you actually mean "infatuation". In that case, no: infatuation doesn't last. It goes away after the honeymoon phase of any relationship. Attraction, intimacy, chemistry, comfort, a sense of being exactly in the right place, companionship, trust, sincerity, shared laughter, playful banter, close-to-perfect communication, ... these are all essential components of a healthy long-term relationship. Infatuation, not really.

[bubble]

Nicely put, searock.