Can someone help me please?

[CheekyDevil4657]

I have joined this site because I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend now for over 5 months. At the beginning of the relationship sex was great we would be having it often 2 or 3 times a week. Then all of a sudden we was having sex once a week. And now we have not had sex for over 3 weeks. He keeps telling me to jump his bones more, but I am not good at being able to tell him when I want sex. I've tried talking to him saying I am not good at telling him I want sex but I am always shy when saying it to is face, so I text him and say it instead but he moans and says he don't want me texting him private things when he is at work ect. I am a very shy person and find it hard to tell him how I feel when it comes to saying it face to face. I find it easy saying it threw text. But anyway because of the lack of sex my mind is going around thinking he does not want to be with me no more. Am I being stupid?

I was in a very bad relationship before I met him, so could I just be other thinking things to much?

[midnightkisses]

I know how you feel, because I am a shy person myself. It sounds like to me he was usually ths one to initiate things, which probably bored him after a while. Well, maybe not bored him, but maybe made him feel unattractive, or maybe he just wants you to take the lead for once. I know it can be embarrassing since there's that thought that maybe when we try to be sexy and initiate things, we may look stupid, or maybe do it at the wrong time, or possibly just wrong. Okay, now flip that around on you. When your boyfriend initiates sex, and jumps your bones, isn't it a turn on? Don't you feel sexy, and wanted? Have you ever once thought that he looked stupid while doing it, or was doing it wrong? I will admit, sometimes it really is embarrassing, but he'll be focusing on what's going on and how you're touching him. I used to be so embarrassed to try and initiate things I've really wanted to do with my boyfriend, and I'm just starting to become less shy with him. He really likes it, and I have been successful so far.

[CheekyDevil4657]

Yeah he is the one who initiates things. We have never spoke about it because I am shy, but last night I initiated thing with him I just come out and said it to him. I know it does not sound sexy or anything but hey it's a start. I am not good at flirting.

Thank you for your advice midnightkisses, I will try, I need to get over my shyness.

[mollymari]

Really agree with midnight on this one. CheekyD, from one shy woman to another, next time the moment strikes right, take the reigns and drive that coach all the way home. You could try (though this may sound rather superficial) try on something that makes you feel sexy and do this for yourself. Trust me, he'll notice. Set some ambience, a candle or two, three, four, dim those lights and set the tone. It sounds like he's the one wondering if your still attracted to him.
Don't allow past baloney and hurts to jade what your in now.
Remember, it takes TWO.

[midnightkisses]

You're welcome CheekyD. I hope my advice helped. I agree with molly about wearing something that makes you feel sexy. You'll be surprised how easy it is to flirt when you feel confident about how you look. Haha, I'm totally with you on the getting over your shyness thing. Still working on that myself though I'm slowly but surely making progress. It'll happen sooner than you think.

[basilandthyme]

And remember that you don't need words to seduce someone. As mentioned before, candles are a great clue. Or low lighting in the bedroom. Or you could simply initiate with kissing. Start with a gentle but lingering kiss and if he responds well, go in for longer.

A bit of effort on your part will make him feel much more loved and desired. And isn't this something we all want ;-)

[CheekyDevil4657]

Thank you guys I will give it a try.

He knows I like him. And when I have dressed nice for him I know he has noticed but he never says anything. So that makes me think what's the point. I will try with the candles tonight and see how it goes.

Thanks again.

[!Joe264!]

Hello,

After some time, it is normal for a relationship go from hot to warm. Now you and your boyfriend need to work out to keep it hot always. Yes, you need to work that out!!! And do not worry, this is life!!!

And dont be afraid to talk to him....you should be able to tell him what actually bothers you. He is your boyfriend after all!!!!

[Exeter19]

I have joined this site because I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend now for over 5 months. At the beginning of the relationship sex was great we would be having it often 2 or 3 times a week. Then all of a sudden we was having sex once a week. And now we have not had sex for over 3 weeks. He keeps telling me to jump his bones more, but I am not good at being able to tell him when I want sex. I've tried talking to him saying I am not good at telling him I want sex but I am always shy when saying it to is face, so I text him and say it instead but he moans and says he don't want me texting him private things when he is at work ect. I am a very shy person and find it hard to tell him how I feel when it comes to saying it face to face. I find it easy saying it threw text. But anyway because of the lack of sex my mind is going around thinking he does not want to be with me no more. Am I being stupid?

I was in a very bad relationship before I met him, so could I just be other thinking things to much?

why should he care if you text it even if he is at work, wouldn't only he read his text/phone, maybe it makes him hard when he is at work and makes him embarrassed, should ask. can't you just tell him, " i want it" and leave it at that he should know what that means and then carry on from there, sounds like he wants you to be more dominant, not only him being the dominant sex partner. why would he go 3 weeks without fcking you, that doesn't make sense, sounds like he doesn't want it to me or he'd be all over you. don't get why he is putting it all off onto you though.

[CheekyDevil4657]

I am not very good with relationships, my last one I was in a abusive relationship. So I don't really know how to deal with things. Maybe it is just me over thinking everything, I do not know. And I really don't want to unload all my problems with him. I am shy when It comes to saying my feelings. I do know we need to talk. But he might not think there is a problem, but I think there is. But then again like I said it could be over thinking again.

[mollymari]

Cheeky, been away for a few and upon reading your plea again, this is what you could do. I did this (though it took allot of nerve and three glasses of pinot). Ok. gee, almost embarrassed to share this but hey, no one knows who any of us are right? So, here goes.

As my significant other lounged yet again on the couch watching his favorite shows completely in another World, I slipped away to another room, changed into a simple pair of stockings and a large hockey shirt, nothing else. Then I grabbed my dildoe from its hiding place, my home made lube and proceeded back to the couch, said nothing, sat down and gently placed these items on the coffee table.

So that did it.
No dialogue, no fuss, simple and effective.

Hope that helps

[Boisdevie]

Ok. gee, almost embarrassed to share this but hey, no one knows who any of us are right? So, here goes.

As my significant other lounged yet again on the couch watching his favorite shows completely in another World, I slipped away to another room, changed into a simple pair of stockings and a large hockey shirt, nothing else. Then I grabbed my dildoe from its hiding place, my home made lube and proceeded back to the couch, said nothing, sat down and gently placed these items on the coffee table.

How embarassing. Dildo is spelled 'dildo' and not 'dildoe'.

[mollymari]

Really? I make a spelling error and you actually feel the need to pick on me for that? Ok. Well allow me to correct myself. DILDO. Hope 'that' satisfies you.

[joanna1]

He must know you are shy if you've been dating for 5 months, so he shouldn't pressure you that much, or make it harder on or for you to express yourself, like when you tried via text messaging and he took offense. A nice direct in person conversation on what you want, and he wants and how far you are comfortable going to achieve it will work wonders for you both. It sounds like you are having not only intimacy issues but communication issues as well.

[CheekyDevil4657]

Well he is going through a divorce at the moment. Him and that person have not been together for over 2yrs. Could that be the reason why he is like he is? He was all quiet yesterday and I asked him if he is okay he said he is fine he is sick of just thinking about think things. And I did say to him he can speak to me about it instead of keeping it to himself and stressing him out. But he didn't answer me back.