advice please

[freckles123]

Hey all,
Met this guy last October. We talked for a while, and got to know eachother and started officially dating in may. I am mad about him. We get on great, never argue, in fact we are just there for each other all the time.
The problem is we have only had full sex twice in the past 6 months. So I know him a year, we classify oueselves as a couple, and yea we have only had sex twice.
We are with each other almost 5 nights a week, but in honesty we have only even engaged in foreplay about 5 or 6 times.
I dont know what to do. I dont know if I say it to him does it make me look desperate or am I over reacting that maybe he is just taking things slow.
Im not the most confident person and I dont really have the confidence or know how to initiate sex with him.
I have been in relationships before and although im not the most sexually experienced guys I have been in relationships with before never had a problem with having sex with me.
What do I do? He has told me he loves me, affection just does not seem to be his thing. advise please

[basilandthyme]

Freckles, you have 3 choices:

1. discuss the issue with him and learn about his sex drive
2. stay with him and accept having very little sex
3. spare yourself from having to talk about it and just move on.

Which option seems the most/least appealing to you?

[smackie9]

He could be gay, and is just in denial.

To be honest I would never date someone like this. Why are you still with him? And what are you getting out of this by staying with him when he doesn't find you sexually desirable.

[Wakeup]

I am mad about him. We get on great, never argue, in fact we are just there for each other all the time.

Then talk to HIM not US. We can't help you with this. If you've had sex once and you are in a loving relationship then you SHOULD be able to have an adult conversation with him about his lack of libido and failing that, you should be able to initiate a sexual union without saying a word.

[CheekyDevil4657]

You should talk to him and find out why.

[mollymari]

Greetings Freckles,
Well, when you have had sex is it good? Comfortable and natural?
I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like he's great friend material but not so great with the lover aspect of a relationship.
You need to ask yourself if your willing to give up affection. I don't think you should, it's not healthy.
Lack of affections will twist up in your mind and you risk projecting that onto yourself, ie. thinking it's you. Well it's not. You've been close before with others.
When you talk to him about it (because you have to do that, talk to him about it) if he claims his libido is low, try some ginseng or ginko biloba (natures way of boosting the libido). Or maybe he's dealing with other issues; what ever the case may be, you must find out more for your own sake. People need love and affection.
Talking to him about this will NOT make you seem desperate. Quite the opposite really. Making love only twice in 6 months especially for a new couple is, how best to put this, a major red flag.
You need to be honest here and respect yourself and your needs. You need to find out more, gingerly; and rest in the notion that when the truth does come out, the fact remains, you two get along very well and worst case scenario, you have a great friend, perhaps a fabulous one.
Good luck. Talk to him.