4 month breakup

[Maincomcept]

Ok here goes long story am 42 my ex 27 an from another country she been missing home badly arguments started although most could be abortion she had cpl of yr ago she been depressed went home for 20 days came back worse after 2 weeks of asking to go back for a month we had jobs can't afford to we split but for 2 week of her saying come with me or beg me to stay she left yes I was complaint at her past 9 month she did nothing at home ,well any way she left told me to find someone else and soon after I miss you then I hate you etc etc we talk but once it goes to feelings she 2 busy to talk anyway she told me again other night to find someone else she doesn't want anyone yet she will say the next day love you miss you huh?ive tryed to get her to come back and sort her things out she finally said she be her few week then she going back and this time on phone she said but dont try beg me to stay all the times we talked I've got mixed signals am really confused I said you sure look happy there now and she said yes Iam but week later says I not happy and why should I tell you I ain't.yet when I rang after month 3 and told her am ready to move on and meet somebody she said I promise ill be here soon don't understand one min she misses next she can't be even bothered to talk I know it txts she told me I didn't realise for 3 yr she been dying inside all because we both stubborn yes that I've learnt I don't want to loose this woman but am not sure if it stubbornness of family that are putting thoughts in here head as before she keft they were pestering her daily to come back home .and yes she tells me to stop pestering her but all I say coz I been given no answers so when I leave her alone she will contact me plz advice I also took volt redundancy few month before we moved to big city as she was been made redundant am know stuck her with nobody I over drink every weekend my life is a mess help plz sorry if it confusing reading this but my head is shot,forgot to add her mum have same sort of temper very argumentive if she misses her family so much why has she spent the past month with her auntie in summer house other side of the country yet never heard her mention this auntie ,before u say I have now seen pics of her aunt and uncle so it no other man and in phone call other day she mentions missing her things does that mean the house or me sorry for blabbing on

[thompkevin]

Hey,
I am sorry you are in this situation. But you really need to let her go for the time being. Don't contact her and move on. I know you love her and want her back, but you are making your life miserable because of her. It will be a good idea to start dating other people and move on. If she ever decides to come back, you can decide at that time what you want. But for now, there is nothing you can do that will bring her back. Everything you do to try to convince her to come back will only make you more miserable in your life.

[Maincomcept]

Thanks for quick reply ,The problem iwhen ihave blocked her she opens different accounts ask to unblock as she needs to chat when do she says she misses me loves but not like she did then when i tell her same thing she says ok to busy to chat she asks do i have feelings for her ,then next day she hates me ,head confusion or what.I really don't want to date anybody but am miserable on my own I know strange but true I don't want to date another whilst my head like this it not fair on the woman . I left a 21 yr marriage 2 yr before I met her lol and she even asked me solidly for 2 yr to date which I always said no because of her age my mind was saying yes but my heart was saying no now it's the other way round am so depressed,also forgot to mention I asked her to pack her things before she left and I have one full bedroom of boxes of her things and half the living room has her boxes and things I have to sit and see these everyday,so I can't move on I warned numerous times to collect them but she says I will and always something always happens,she said today on phone yesterday she wants to sort her things out today she says she doesn't want to come ,I even sent her busfare money for to come them on Saturday wen she asked now she just tells me this afternoon bus station was closed is she just playing games with my head and I can't throw them away there thousand of pounds of her stuff I cud put them in storage but she would still loose them as she has no money is she doing this because I won't get rid of them as she knows am a soft touch,sorry for rambling but I am so confused

[thompkevin]

Like you said man, she is just playing games with your head. Why do you want to let her continue. Here is what I'd do if I was in your situation.

-Instead of blocking her, delete your social media accounts. For now, it's more important for you to get yourself together instead of communicating with people on facebook. This way, she will have no way of contacting you.
- Don't pick up her phone. Don't return her texts. If possible, change your phone number.
- Either throw all of her stuff or just give it to someone else and let her know that she can pick her stuff from there. If possible, just mail all her stuff to her address so you don't have to deal with it again.
- Cut all means of communication with her. Unless you do so, she will continue to talk to you and continue to play with your mind. If you want to carry on with your life and ever feel sane again, you have to be a little tough.