It has been 30 years since I was born, and I never experienced what romantic love was, instead through the years I wondered myself what was wrong with me, why was it so difficult for me to even be attracted to a woman, even when some people tell me "I don't understand why you, being like you are, do not have any relationship". I know I am a very rare breed of man, but being as rational and spiritual as possible, I have been able to identify things about me which have led to the conclusion that I was not, let's say, "configured", to have any romantic relationship.

Media and society in general have a strong focus into the aspects of human romantic love, including sexual, and it is so because about 99% of people are sexual and almost the same percent seek love in a way that they feel good and valuable. This is not my case, and this is something I discovered about a year ago. It took me 29 years to end my confusion about my sexual reality as well as romantic.

As I said in previous, when young I wanted a girlfriend and had some crushes, some of them strong enough to make me cry and feel depressed. But contrary to most people my fate has NOT been to meet someone that would stand different and will change my life. A lot of friends who happened to feel like me, today are either married or have a very strong relationship, women that love them just as they wished. Me on the other hand followed a different path- realizing that romance per se is overrated. And I am not saying it is not good or great, it is just that when knowing about the reality of a lot of relationships and the high rate of separations and divorces sweeping our society, then this is not as I imagined when younger.

Since then, I was able to firmly realize something- we are not all designed for romantic love, and a lot of people insist in being in relationships that only make them feel uncomfortable. Relationships go well beyond sex and even emotionL attachment and it is not for all of us. Even today I imagine a "fairy-tale" story of love that lasts forever and deep inside it is something that I would desire but real-life relationships do not work that way, it is all about balancing two different ways of life... In a way that both help each other in the process of developing into better individuals. What I am saying is that I have come to conclude that the people who are born with the "privilege" of being loved and love (to be in romantic relationships) are so because their partner are necessary in their lives to develop into better individuals, meaning that without the partner, the person will eventually be lost, in terms of their spiritual and emotional health.

I am asexual so I am not including sex into this issue, but we might remember that a lot of relationships understand that sex is very important so having the need or desire to have sex is another component that would be required for a romantic relationship. I don't have that.

Now I don't want to sound arrogant or superior, and I will explain my reasoning as soon as I finish the following statement about me: I don't feel that a partner would be necessary for me to become a better individual. Those who know me in person, when they truly know me, know that I am a very special kind of man, I tend to be as compassionate and understanding to others as possible, I like to help people in their emotional issues, a lot of people rely on me and tell me their issues knowing that they can trust me and will not hear me criticizing them or expecting them to do what I would do. Through the years I have passed from being a ultra-conservative Christian to a relative conservative secular, and I still believe in God. But for me there is no place for absolute truths created by mankind or perceptions made my mankind. I respect all kinds of people and I don't see how, other than the obvious, one person lives better than another just because of their culture, religion or modus vivendi in general.

My reasoning comes from both observing my friends, and their personal evolutions, as well as me. Since discovering my asexuality, my ability to make female friends has improved overwhelmingly, and somehow they detect in me a person that they can trust without being scared of me wanting to "hit on them". The same happens with men, lots of them trust me and have even shared with me so many intimate emotional situations expecting me to tell them to deal with them because of my altruistic nature. I consider myself to be extremely altruistic, but make no mistake, nobody fools me, like in the past. I know how to recognize evil people very easily and have helped many friends and family of mine wake up from fake people around them.

In terms of the general, sexual average people, having a relationship makes me stronger emotionally. One of my friends, previous to meeting his current wife, was extremely immature, to the point that many people talked of him in his back and eventually took him out of their lives. Not me, we are still friends, and now he is a whole different person. Yes, we are all imperfect and we still all have our issues, but I can day we have come to become much better people, albeit our circumstances around us were different, his wife has helped shaped him, in my case, lots of observations and bad experiences have shaped me.

We are all different and we all must follow the right path that leads us to be as close to perfect as possible. For most people, a romantic relationship is basically required to do that. A wife or a husband gives the necessary comfort and boost for the person to become better, others like me, our capacity of altruism and analysis and our personal experiences give us that boost.

So in conclusion, we all all not here to love or to be loved romantically. Surely the feeling of romantic love must feel good, but in my case, I am no longer that much eager to have that feeling. I am not a romantic man either, which together with the fact of me being asexual practically disqualifies me from having a strong relationship anyway. This is who I am. And everyone should be able to capture the idea on what is better for their lives.